Wait for me
In the darkness, Lin Xian tightly embraced the fragile woman beside her, holding her as if cradling a delicate treasure—cautiously and tenderly. Xiao Wanqing clutched at her own garment, like an injured kitten, helplessly nestling into her embrace.
The suppressed sobs, like sharp needles, pricked into Lin Xian’s heart, causing her own eyes to moisten.
Xiao Wanqing cried as if her heart was shattering.
Lin Xian’s voice grew hoarse as she gently patted Xiao Wanqing’s back, softening her tone to soothe her, “Don’t be afraid, it was just a dream. You’re awake now, I’m here.”
Eventually, Xiao Wanqing’s cries subsided under her comforting words.
Lin Xian intuitively felt this was not a common nightmare; otherwise, Auntie Xiao wouldn’t have lost her composure so much due to just a dream. She wanted to coax her to confide, “Xiao Xiaowan, would you want to tell me what you dreamt about?”
But Xiao Wanqing just nestled tiredly and vulnerably in the crook of her neck, taking shallow breaths, her shoulders trembling slightly. After a moment, she hoarsely apologized, “I’m sorry, I woke you up. It’s me who’s behaved inappropriately.” She seemed to regain an adult’s calm restraint in an instant.
Lin Xian couldn’t help but sigh deeply. She lowered her head, lifting Xiao Wanqing’s face, and in her soft gaze, kissed her forehead with tenderness, kissed her moist eyes, erased her tear stains with her lips, and whispered gently, “Why apologize? Xiao Xiaowan, with me, you don’t need to hide your feelings. You haven’t behaved inappropriately because I feel for you.”
“It’s me who should be sorry. Sorry for not being in your dreams to protect you; sorry for letting you feel scared; sorry for letting you sleep by my side, yet still not giving you enough sense of security.”
She asked her, “Xiao Xiaowan, tell me, please, what can I do to make you feel more at ease?”
Xiao Wanqing bit her lip, gazing deeply into Lin Xian’s gentle and sincere eyes filled with concern, feeling both a bitter and warm stir in her heart. She moved closer to Lin Xian, wrapping her left arm around Lin Xian’s waist, resting her forehead against Lin Xian’s chin, her voice raspy yet tender, she said, “Xianxian, you’re already doing so much.”
Truly, it was more than enough, and she was very content.
The issues were hers alone.
She whispered softly, intending to close the conversation, “Let’s sleep, Xianxian.”
Lin Xian could do nothing but purse her lips, holding Xiao Wanqing tighter, gently rubbing her hair with her chin, and responded in a deep tone, “Mhm.”
However, Xiao Wanqing unknowingly fell into a deep sleep, while Lin Xian remained wide awake. Watching Xiao Wanqing’s furrowed brows even in her slumber, observing the dew still clinging to her dense, long eyelashes, Lin Xian’s heart ached as if it were being cut by a knife.
A long time ago, when she and Xiao Wanqing were watching “A Chinese Odyssey” together, Xiao Wanqing’s unexpected tears once again surfaced in Lin Xian’s mind. That night, tossing and turning restlessly, she posed a question to herself: just how vast was the distance between fourteen years?
Now, it seemed she still hadn’t found a complete answer.
But she had tried her best, hadn’t she?
Was she still, maybe, too young and inexperienced? Lin Xian felt somewhat despondent and powerless.
With the lightest of touches, Lin Xian kissed away the tears from Xiao Wanqing’s eyelashes, silently pleading in her heart: Xiao Panpan, could you trust me just a bit more, open up just a little more, be just a bit more patient, and wait for me, is that okay?
I will do my very best to grow up, to learn to step closer into your world.
Lin Xian’s movements were clumsy, and she had to be mindful to not make any noise that might awaken Xiao Wanqing. Therefore, to prepare even a slightly more extravagant breakfast, she always had to get up early. Xiao Wanqing, feeling pained for her, had forbidden such actions. Lin Xian had hardly fallen back asleep in the latter half of the night. As soon as dawn began to break, she carefully got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to prepare a breakfast that Xiao Wanqing had not enjoyed for a long time.
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Perhaps due to the fright in the middle of the night and the ensuing fatigue, Xiao Wanqing woke up much later than usual. Upon awakening, she found Lin Xian no longer by her side, the spot in the bed where she had lain already cooling.
Xiao Wanqing felt a bit lost and subconsciously raised her hand to rub her temples. As she fully awoke, she suddenly sat up. Did she—had her lapse last night frightened Lin Xian?
Fortunately, in the next second, the girl she’d been yearning for poked her head through the door. With a smile on her face, she carried a glass of water and walked step by step to sit by her bed.
She set the water down on the bedside table, her eyes smiling tenderly as she gazed at her. Suddenly, she leaned in closer and pressed her soft lips against hers in a passionate kiss.
Lin Xian used the agile tip of her tongue to part her lips, attempting to separate her clenched teeth.
Xiao Wanqing tasted the minty flavor of toothpaste in the girl’s mouth, refreshing and sweet, just like the love Lin Xian offered her. Xiao Wanqing escaped from her fervent entanglement, speaking with a lazy and soft coyness typical of someone just awakened, “Xianxian, I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.”
Lin Xian’s eyebrows bent with unrestrained affection, and she gave Xiao Wanqing’s moist lips another lick, whispering seductively, “Would it be alright if I help you brush them first?”
In Xiao Wanqing’s eyes, a tender, gentle light flickered, and turning her head away, she scolded Lin Xian, “Speaking nonsense so early in the morning.”
Seeing Xiao Wanqing’s feigned anger, Lin Xian was filled with affection. She naturally nudged her shoulder with her head, looked up with a mischievous smile, and admitted, “Yes, I was speaking nonsense. Now let me say something serious.”
“If you don’t get up now, you are going to be late…”
Xiao Wanqing regarded the alarm clock beside her with suspicion, but in the next moment, she briskly tossed off the covers and got out of bed. Lin Xian watched her back, softly informing her, “Don’t worry, there’s no rush. I’ve prepared breakfast, and it’s cooling down now. Just come out after you wash up, and remember to drink water before you do.”
Xiao Wanqing’s steps paused again. She turned around, looking at the girl, as a gentle curve slowly formed on her lips.
Seeing the glint of a smile in Xiao Wanqing’s eyes, Lin Xian’s heart relaxed slightly. She stood up, dashed over to Xiao Wanqing, and quickly stole another kiss on her lips. Grinning with satisfaction, showing her neat row of teeth like a fox that had gotten away with a sly act, Lin Xian happily hopped out of the bedroom.
Lin Xian did not bring up last night’s incident, so as not to embarrass her; everything was as usual.
Xiao Wanqing touched her lips and softened her gaze further, her heart melting once again.
Deep down, Lin Xian was still worried about Xiao Wanqing’s state from last night. At breakfast, Lin Xian made the excuse that she was so lovesick she wanted to stay a couple more days before returning. Xiao Wanqing was concerned that Lin Xian had left in a rush the other day without properly explaining to Zhou Qin, and that staying two more days might make it difficult to explain when she got back. Thus, Xiao Wanqing feigned indifference and urged Lin Xian to obediently go home.
Seeing Xiao Wanqing’s resolve, Lin Xian could only pout and agree to go home obediently.
After Xiao Wanqing went to work, Lin Xian didn’t leave immediately.
Instead, she cleaned up Xiao Wanqing’s house and then washed the clothes that Xiao Wanqing had changed out of the day before, which hadn’t been washed due to it being too late and tiring. Xiao Wanqing’s clothes were more delicate than her rough T-shirts, and Lin Xian washed them with extreme care and gentleness. There were only a few pieces of clothing, but she was sweating profusely by the end.
Around 10 o’clock, Lin Xian went out for a while, and after returning, she stayed busy in the room for quite some time. Approaching noon, she took the little Teddy bear toy into Xiao Wanqing’s bedroom, placed it where she had slept the night before, and sent Xiao Wanqing a text message. Finally, with great reluctance, she left Xiao Wanqing’s home to return to the northern district.
On the way back, Lin Xian sat on the bus, her head leaning against the glass window, gazing blankly at the receding streetscape lost in thought.
She still couldn’t let go of the rare vulnerability and helplessness that Xiao Wanqing had shown last night and couldn’t help recalling the heavy expression Xiao Wanqing wore when she received the call from Wen Tong.
Was it just a coincidence?
Lin Xian felt a heavy weight in her heart. She couldn’t shake the suspicion that Xiao Wanqing’s sudden nightmare was somehow related to Wen Tong and desperately wanted to confront Wen Tong about what was said to Auntie Xiao the previous night.
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However, after much deliberation, she didn’t dare to act rashly.
She remembered the three conditions Auntie Xiao had set when they first started dating. Auntie Xiao herself must also be abiding by them, right? She probably wasn’t ready to tell Wen Tong about her romantic relationship with Lin Xian, was she?
Lin Xian didn’t know on what grounds she could possibly approach Wen Tong to question her. She feared that if she carelessly exposed their relationship, it might lead to Xiao Wanqing getting hurt.
Moreover, if Auntie Xiao herself didn’t wish to disclose certain things or did not want her to know, wouldn’t it be disrespectful for Lin Xian to pry into these matters through someone else?
Lin Xian, facing the glass, let out a sigh with a sense of loss and drew a smiley face with her finger to comfort herself. She decided to let it go.
In Shi Jinglan’s solitary duplex suite, Wen Tong awoke with a splitting headache, staring bewildered at the unfamiliar surroundings. She turned her face and, seeing the woman asleep next to her with furrowed brows, widened her eyes in disbelief and almost cried out in shock.
She strained to remember what had happened. Glancing at Shi Jinglan’s disheveled body partially uncovered by the thin blanket, flashes of the previous night came back to her. She vaguely recalled being kicked under the bed and, in pain, crawling back on top; furious, she’d wanted to tear off the mask of aloofness from the woman who seemed superior. Recollections of her gripping Shi Jinglan’s body more aggressively, recklessly demanding, came back to her.
Had she made her cry?
“Ah………………,” Wen Tong wanted to die.
Treading lightly, Wen Tong didn’t dare to put on her clothes. She picked up her clothes, bag, and shoes and tiptoed out of the room, clutching them close.
After an indeterminate amount of time, Shi Jinglan was rudely awakened by a work-related phone call. As she reached to answer the call, she realized her body ached as if it had fallen apart. She turned her head to look for the culprit, but the space beside her was already empty.
She opened her mouth to speak, only to realize how hoarse her voice was—it was painfully like smoke was about to come out. Shi Jinglan’s eyebrows furrowed as she gazed at the empty side of the bed.
She gave a few curt instructions on the phone and then hung up. Enduring the pain, she walked on soft and unsteady feet into the bathroom to shower.
Much later, having cleaned herself up and washed away the stickiness, she donned a clean robe. Barefoot and drying her hair, she walked into the living room. Her gaze swept over to the coffee table where Wen Tong had left something behind.
An opened bag of throat lozenges (cough drop or sore throat sweet) and a neatly written note: I’m sorry. Remember to buy medicine.
What medicine? Shi Jinglan felt an even sharper pain between her legs.
It felt like mockery.
With a face cycling through shades of emotion, Shi Jinglan stared at the note for a long time, her eyes growing darker and darker.
Very well, Wen Tong.
We have a long way to go.
In the two days after Lin Xian returned home, which was over a weekend, Zhou Qin came to the southern district to hold a training seminar. She had been extremely busy lately; seizing the rare opportunity of having some time, she eagerly invited Xiao Wanqing and Wen Tong to have dinner together.
Now, when Xiao Wanqing saw an incoming call from Zhou Qin, she couldn’t help but feel a flutter of apprehension. After hearing Zhou Qin’s invitation, she asked with a subconscious tension she wasn’t aware of, “Has Wen Tong agreed to come along?”
Since that day, Wen Tong had not contacted her again, and she felt too embarrassed to reach out to Wen Tong first. She feared that Wen Tong might be tired of her, that her messages would sink like stones in the sea. By not reaching out, she could avoid rejection, and continue to deceive herself.
Zhou Qin replied with a smile, “I haven’t contacted her yet. It’s okay, if Tongtong is not available, we can meet up first, and next time when she has the time, we can arrange another dinner. It’s not like we can only have dinner once.”
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Xiao Wanqing had already declined several times, and she was worried that any further refusals might cause Zhou Qin to feel slighted, so she reluctantly agreed despite her misgivings.
Fortunately, when Xiao Wanqing arrived at the restaurant and followed the waiter to the table that Zhou Qin had reserved, she could see from a distance two women sitting opposite each other deeply engaged in conversation.
Wen Tong… she had come after all.
As if sensing Xiao Wanqing’s arrival, Wen Tong suddenly looked up as well. Their gazes met across the distance. A moment later, Xiao Wanqing saw Wen Tong slightly lower her eyes as if sighing and gave Xiao Wanqing a reluctantly amused smile.
Xiao Wanqing couldn’t help the sting in her eyes, yet her heart soared.
The author has something to say:
President Shi: You made the appointment yourself, so you have to see it through even if you’re crying.
LP: 14 years gap ahhh… please author, don’t let them have deeper intimacy before Lin Xian is in her late 20s!
And well, I’m kinda rooting for Wen Tong and Shi Jinglan…