The Hand of Confession – Chapter 423
by Little PandaEpilogue: The Final Instance
Lou-jie
Go for it, Shen Gua Gua!
Shen Maomao stood at the end of the world.
Before her was a constantly crumbling land, and behind her was a void-like invisible wall.1
She was caught between the two, unable to advance, unable to retreat.
Time seemed to have lost its original meaning. She didn’t feel tired or hungry, and she couldn’t even remember how many days had passed since she left Police Officer Bai’s home.
Little Lou Jingmo was well-protected by her and hadn’t suffered any harm; Puck sat on her shoulder, a worried look in his eyes, wanting to say something but never opening his mouth; and then there was that Little Teddy Bear (Antagonist), which had shamelessly2 followed them and survived until now.
The four of them were the only living things left in this world.
This was an apocalyptic disaster. All living and non-living things had turned into data. Darkness shrouded the entire world, which now more closely resembled the vast, boundless universe—no path forward, no way back. The space they had left to move in was less than ten meters wide, and this collapse showed no signs of stopping. It was still continuing.
Everything was telling her—there was something wrong with Lou Jingmo. She could only leave this instance3 by killing Lou Jingmo.
Shen Maomao had delayed and delayed, but she had finally reached the moment where she had to make a choice.
She put her right hand behind her back, her fingers clutching Lou Jingmo’s Dagger.
She had to kill Lou Jingmo.
She had to use her dagger to kill her.
This realization made Shen Maomao so miserable she wanted to cry, causing the hand holding the dagger to tremble uncontrollably.
She could already use this dagger with great skill.
Perhaps with even more skill than the Lou Jingmo of the past.
But now, the once-light dagger felt as if it weighed a thousand pounds, making it almost impossible for her to hold.
Little Lou Jingmo touched the unseen wall and said, “Maomao, there’s no way forward.”
She turned back to look at Shen Maomao, who was staring at her blankly. “What’s wrong with you?”
With a clang, the dagger in Shen Maomao’s hand fell to the ground. She instantly became flustered, turning slightly to try and hide the weapon behind her, but it was all in vain. Lou Jingmo had already seen everything.
She showed no expression, only asking calmly, “Are you going to kill me?”
Shen Maomao trembled uncontrollably, as if she’d been electrocuted.
“Sorry…” She managed to squeeze those two words from her throat, but she couldn’t form a complete sentence after that, only letting out small, broken whimpers like an injured little animal.
Lou Jingmo took two steps forward and wrapped her in a hug. “It’s okay. We’re all going to die in the end anyway. Go on.”
Shen Maomao’s legs were so weak she could barely stand. She slid down to the ground in Lou Jingmo’s embrace, covering her face and sobbing her heart out.
Lou Jingmo couldn’t hold her up, so she could only squat down with her. “I’ll remember you. Your name is Shen Maomao, and you’re my girlfriend from the future.”
She reached for the dagger beside them and placed it in Shen Maomao’s hand herself. “Hurry up. We don’t have much time left.”
The ground they could stand on was constantly flaking away. They truly didn’t have much time left.
Shen Maomao threw the dagger away with all her might.
She couldn’t do it.
She really couldn’t do it.
“Hey—!” Lou Jingmo took a step forward but couldn’t catch it before it fell. The dagger traced a parabola through the air, disintegrating into countless 0s and 1s in the void.
But these 0s and 1s didn’t completely merge with the others in the void. Instead, a sliver of them broke away from the vast data cluster and flew toward her.
Lou Jingmo’s eyes widened in curiosity as she watched the data affectionately wind around her fingers, like a green ribbon flowing up her arm…
Shen Maomao didn’t notice this. She was still immersed in sorrow and pain, even beginning to feel a sense of hatred for herself.
She hated her own indecisiveness, hated her lack of resolve.
Right now, the thing she should be doing is killing this Lou Jingmo to resurrect her Lou-jie, but here she was, overcome with this damned cowardice, this hesitation she shouldn’t have.
She was weak, a cowardly piece of trash.
Over the past few years, she had often wondered, why wasn’t she the one who died? Why couldn’t the more capable Lou Jingmo have been saved instead?
Even though she knew she couldn’t hide behind someone else forever, couldn’t avoid growing up forever.
But growing up was so tiring, and so painful.
And she had never been a strong person.
Ever since losing Lou Jingmo, she knew there was something wrong with her psychological state.
She had wanted to give up countless times. Every day felt exhausting, to the point where she wished she could just sleep and never wake up. But the moment she thought of Lou Jingmo, she would force herself to get up, to keep going, almost numbly painting pictures in her mind, over and over, of the beautiful future they could have had.
But she knew… it was all fake, all her fantasy, an impossible, extravagant hope.
At this moment, when she was being asked to kill someone who was identical to Lou Jingmo down to her very scent, all the depressive factors suppressed in the depths of her heart crawled out. They were like an suffocating net, binding her tightly, leaving her unable to move.
Maybe I should just end it like this…
She had let Lou Jingmo down, let her parents down, let Faye down…
She was too sad, too miserable. She couldn’t go on any longer.
Shang Zhou was right. No one can leave the final instance. They couldn’t, Lou Jingmo couldn’t, and she, Shen Maomao… she couldn’t either.
Shen Maomao lay on the cold ground and closed her eyes.
Maybe… I don’t have to try anymore.
Giving up has always been easier than persevering.
Puck seemed to be shouting something in her ear, but she couldn’t hear anything anymore.
Her consciousness was slipping away from her body, bit by bit. She didn’t have to think, didn’t have to do anything. She just needed to let herself sink into a deep sleep in this space that held Lou Jingmo, to become data just like her, to be entangled together for all eternity…
“Shen Maomao…”
“Shen Gua Gua…”
A burning sensation erupted on her left cheek, causing her scattering consciousness to gather back together slightly.
She dazedly opened her eyes to find Little Lou Jingmo cupping her face, right hand raised high, apparently preparing to give her right cheek a taste of the same.
Shen Maomao was stunned. “You…?”
Lou Jingmo let out a sigh of relief. “You’re awake?”
Shen Maomao: “What… did you just call me?”
Lou Jingmo smiled. “I called you my wife.”
Shen Maomao’s mouth hung open, unable to speak for a long time.
Lou Jingmo said, “Dumbfounded?”
Shen Maomao stared at her blankly. “Are you… are you deliberately trying to humor me?”
Lou Jingmo placed a loving kiss on the corner of her eye, kissing away a tear. “You’ve worked hard, Maomao.”
Shen Maomao’s thoughts finally returned. She gripped Lou Jingmo’s sleeve tightly, as if clinging to her last lifesaving straw,4 crying and laughing at the same time. “You’re Lou Jingmo… You’re Lou Jingmo… You’re my Lou-jie!”
Lou Jingmo pulled her into her arms, holding her tightly, repeating over and over with endless patience, “It’s me, it’s me. I missed you so much… I love you, Maomao…”
Shen Maomao wailed, losing all control. “I missed you so much too!”
Lou Jingmo’s eyes couldn’t help but grow moist as well. “You’ve worked hard… You’ve worked hard…”
The two of them seemed to have turned into repeater machines,5 holding each other and repeating the same few sentences.
After crying for a while, Shen Maomao wiped her tears and got up, moving further inward with Lou Jingmo. She asked, “Was that you before?”
Lou Jingmo: “It was. It’s always been me, but I just didn’t remember you.”
Shen Maomao let out another howl. “I almost killed you! I almost killed you, wahhhh…”
Lou Jingmo said, “It’s okay. You have to kill me, or you won’t be able to leave this place. Your guess was correct. I’m the boss of this instance.”
Lou Jingmo had long ago prepared a backup plan.6
From the moment she saw the final instance, she understood the game’s malice and guessed that the person Shen Maomao would meet would very likely be herself. So, she used a special method to copy her memories onto her most-used dagger. If the dagger was destroyed while she was present, she would remember everything.
Of course, this method had no guarantees. She was just trying her luck.
And the reason things had turned out this way was due to some other factors besides luck, but it wasn’t convenient to talk about them now, nor was it the time for idle chatter.
She wiped Shen Maomao’s tears and said, “Before you came in, I was stranded here like a piece of data… It was probably the Game Administrator preparing to screw you over. During that time, I learned some things we didn’t know before. I have to die in this instance. Otherwise, you will absolutely not be able to leave.”
Shen Maomao’s final instance was custom-made for her. If she killed Lou Jingmo, she would clear it, but that administrator would certainly tell her the truth in the end. Overwhelmed by guilt, Shen Maomao would probably wish for Lou Jingmo’s resurrection immediately, without considering other possibilities. If she couldn’t bring herself to do it, she would fail to clear the instance, which would even save the administrator the trouble of manipulating her—this was also why Lou Jingmo felt Shen Maomao would have a sudden breakdown at the final moment.
“Administrator?” This was the first time Shen Maomao had heard this word.
Lou Jingmo: “Right. We’ve always thought everything we experienced was due to the game’s malice, but in reality, the game is like a fruit knife. Whether it’s used to peel fruit or to kill someone depends entirely on the person using the tool, not the knife itself.”
Shen Maomao sort of understood, and sort of didn’t.
Lou Jingmo spoke quickly, “The game has become dissatisfied with its own administrator, which is why you appeared. Do you understand what I mean, Maomao?”
Shen Maomao was still mired in grief, unable to pull herself out. She stammered, “I… I don’t know…”
Lou Jingmo gripped her hand and said earnestly, “It has already delivered everything to you. All the rules can be changed by you, and we can be saved by you. You’re so smart, you can definitely figure it out.”
With a thought, she pulled a ribbon of 0s and 1s from the void. The ribbon flew into her palm and transformed back into the dagger that had fallen earlier.
“You didn’t kill me; you saved me.” Lou Jingmo handed her the dagger, guiding her hand to plunge it into her own chest. “Go for it, Shen Gua Gua. We’ll see each other again very soon…”
As her voice fell, a familiar white light appeared before Shen Maomao.
The author has something to say:
A good meal is worth the wait!!!7
Many years to come, Shen Maomao would think of the scene where Lou Jingmo saved her from her shackles.8
She thought her ideal lover was a peerless hero who would descend from the heavens on a five-colored cloud, cleave through the thorns, and kiss her awake…9
But Lou Jingmo fucking gave her a big slap in the face instead【manual bye-bye】10
Footnotes
- An invisible wall (空气墙, kōngqì qiáng) is a common term in video games for an unseen barrier that limits the player’s movement to the playable area.
- The original phrase is 死皮赖脸 (sǐpílàiliǎn), literally “thick-skinned and sticky-faced,” meaning to be shameless and stubbornly persistent.
- An instance (副本, fùběn) is a game term for a special, separate area where a player or group can complete quests or fight bosses without interference from others. It’s a core concept in the Unlimited Flow genre.
- A “lifesaving straw” (救命稻草, jiùmìng dàocǎo) is the Chinese equivalent of the English idiom “clutching at straws,” referring to a desperate last resort or final hope in a dire situation.
- A “repeater machine” (复读机, fùdú jī) is internet slang for someone who constantly repeats the same words or phrases, like a language-learning device.
- The original term is 后手 (hòushǒu), literally “back hand,” a term from games like Go or chess that refers to a move or plan held in reserve for later.
- The original is a proverb, 好饭不怕晚 (hǎo fàn bùpà wǎn), meaning “a good meal isn’t afraid of being late.” It’s used to say that something good is worth waiting for.
- 桎梏 (zhìgù) is a classical literary term literally meaning “shackles” or “fetters”—ancient restraints for feet and hands. It metaphorically refers to any form of bondage or restriction, whether physical, mental, or emotional.
- This references a famous line from the classic 1995 Hong Kong fantasy-comedy film “A Chinese Odyssey” (大话西游), starring Stephen Chow. The original quote by character Zixia Fairy is: “我的意中人是个盖世英雄，有一天他会踩着七彩祥云来娶我” (“My ideal lover is a peerless hero who will one day descend on seven-colored clouds to marry me”). The author has modified “seven-colored” to “five-colored” and combined it with Sleeping Beauty imagery for ironic effect.
- 【手动拜拜】 is an internet slang emoticon. The text literally means “manual bye-bye” and is used to express a sarcastic, dismissive, or final goodbye, often in a humorous context.
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