The Hand of Confession – Chapter 277
by Little PandaVolume 8: The Days of the Ghost Marriage
Date
A transitional chapter, rubbing fists and wiping palms1 in preparation to stir up some trouble
Shen Maomao suddenly opened her eyes.
Just past midnight, it was the most silent time.
She was nestled in Lou Jingmo’s arms, as if she had found the warmest and safest harbor. Lying on her shoulder, she took a deep sniff and said in a low voice: “Happy Zhongyuan Festival2, Lou-jie.”
Lou Jingmo hugged her: “Celebrating that you didn’t turn into a ghost?”
Shen Maomao laughed out loud, suggesting: “Then how about we have a kiss before sleeping again?”
Lou Jingmo’s eyes darkened. She raised a hand to pinch her chin and directly kissed her.
The two exchanged a sticky kiss, making up for those ten minutes from the game, then hugged each other and fell into a deep sleep.
The next morning, they were woken up by a phone call. It was Golden Retriever, whom they hadn’t seen in a long time.
Lou Jingmo, who had severe grumpiness upon waking, almost threw the phone out. Shen Maomao, halfway through a yawn, quickly snatched the phone, and after connecting, asked: “What are you doing so early in the morning?”
Hearing it was her, Golden Retriever opened his mouth and asked: “How is it you?”
Shen Maomao rubbed her eyes, saying with dissatisfaction: “Am I not okay?”
Golden Retriever said urgently: “There’s an urgent matter. Did you two not look at the forum? A notice suddenly appeared inside, saying that it was detected that some players were using item cards to farm instances, so the game’s item mechanics will be updated, limiting the number of times items can be used within a dungeon…”
This matter, to say it was big it wasn’t big, to say it was small it wasn’t small. It didn’t have a big impact on Shen Maomao, but the impact on a local tyrant3 like Golden Retriever was far too great.
She confirmed she couldn’t solve this matter, so she frankly admitted: “I am not okay. You should talk to Lou-jie.” After speaking, she patted Lou Jingmo’s arm and put the phone on speaker.
Lou Jingmo said impatiently: “If you have a fart, let it out quickly4.”
Golden Retriever repeated what he had just said.
Lou Jingmo: “Oh.” After saying that, she directly hung up the phone.
Golden Retriever on the other end of the call: “??”
Shen Maomao: “……” Truly worthy of being Lou-jie.
Lou Jingmo rolled over and kneaded her back into her embrace: “I thought it was the end of the world, for you to be looking for me in such a hurry.”
Shen Maomao: “For Golden Retriever, it probably isn’t much different from the end of the world, right?”
Lou Jingmo lowered her head to kiss her, a series of light kisses landing on her face. Finally, she said: “Is it because I’m not working hard enough? You still have the spare effort to think about someone else while in my bed?”
Shen Maomao, black person question mark face5: “??” What kind of damn domineering CEO6 line is this?
The two fooled around in bed for a while, and all their sleepiness was chased away by the fooling around.
The early morning sunlight lazily sprinkled into every corner of the room. Just like every time before, they unhurriedly got up, washed up, then Shen Maomao went to the kitchen to cook, while Lou Jingmo thought about the plot in the study.
Excluding the instances, this was exactly the image Shen Maomao yearned for. Their life’s rhythm was very slow. Lou Jingmo still needed to worry about her work and career, while she was like a salted fish7 being kept by Lou Jingmo, working out a bit, playing some games, reading some novels, and researching some recipes every day, waiting for her gold master8 to finish work and come to favor her with a visit9.
If conditions allowed, she also wanted to raise a parrot. When she had nothing to do, she could carry a birdcage in one hand and play with walnuts10 in the other, strolling around downstairs.
Only after sitting down at the dining table did she remember the matter of the forum that Golden Retriever had mentioned, so she took advantage of the mealtime to take out her phone and browse the forum for a while.
This matter stirred up no small splash. The top of the forum was full of posts of verbal abuse and tucao11. This update had clearly brought a huge impact to the players.
Being unable to use items without limit was like possessing a mountain of treasures but being unable to use it. The money the local tyrants used to acquire items had all skipped away like stones on water12—who could guarantee they would live until the moment their items were used up?
Shen Maomao swallowed a mouthful of food and asked: “This way, isn’t your item inventory also wasted13?”
Lou Jingmo said indifferently: “I don’t use them much anyway.”
That’s true. At most, Lou Jingmo would use her little flying daggers. Other items were only used when she remembered them, and if she didn’t remember, she’d just forget about it.
As for her…
She chose to wash up and go to sleep.
At noon, Golden Retriever came without being invited, wailing like ghosts and howling like wolves14 on a video call, demanding Lou Jingmo save his dog life.
Shen Maomao, with a speechless expression, opened the door for him. After he came in, she poured him a glass of cool boiled water: “Lou-jie is busy. Why did you come without saying hello?”
Golden Retriever raised his head and “gudu gudu” drank the water down, then placed the cup on the coffee table with a crisp sound: “That notice came out yesterday. I only saw it today, and then I immediately came to find you all.”
Shen Maomao said: “If it’s restricted, then just don’t use them.”
Golden Retriever sighed helplessly: “It’s true that it’s not a big deal… but I don’t know why my heart feels a bit square15, so I quickly bought a plane ticket and came over.”
The lives of rich people are truly whatever they wish.
“This matter is easy to talk about, but items are like, you know, you get addicted if you use them too much.” Speaking to this point, Golden Retriever ruffled his own hair, “I’m just afraid that when I encounter danger again, my first reaction won’t be to run, but to reach into my pocket.”
Shen Maomao: “Then you… restrain yourself a bit?”
Golden Retriever: “……”
The two were nestled on the sofa playing a game together. Not long after, Lou Jingmo finished her work and came out. The first thing she saw was the dog man16 next to her wife, and she immediately narrowed her eyes dangerously.
Golden Retriever inexplicably felt his scalp tighten. He quickly raised his head to look left and right, and immediately saw Lou Jingmo standing on the stairs, quietly watching them.
The sound of his game character being killed came from the phone. Beside him, Shen Maomao’s eyes were locked on the screen, and she cursed: “Fuck, what are you doing? Where are your skills? Are you stupid? Or are you lagging?”
What skills? Golden Retriever thought to himself, If I don’t react now, I’m going to go die17 along with my game character.
He quickly stood up, moved to the small sofa on the other side, and gave up the spot on the large sofa to the person who should be sitting there.
Shen Maomao raised her head strangely, and then saw Lou Jingmo coming down the stairs unhurriedly. She immediately greeted her: “Finished with work?”
Lou Jingmo sat her butt down next to her, raised her right hand and put it around her shoulder: “Finished with work. Playing a game?”
Shen Maomao immediately clicked surrender: “Finishing right now!”
Golden Retriever next to her also clicked agree, but the other few teammates rejected their surrender.
The two could only kowtow and apologize in their hearts to the teammates they had screwed over. They both put down their phones and straightened their clothes and sat in a dignified manner, like primary school students being questioned by a teacher.
Teacher Lou spoke: “What did you come for?” Her words were full of disdain. Although the question was only a short sentence, it allowed Golden Retriever to read the message “disturbing someone’s two-person world and you’ll be struck by heavenly thunder and cleaved apart18” from it.
Golden Retriever weakly shook his phone: “This… the forum…”
“Besides that?”
“Nothing else.”
“Scram.”
“Alrighty.”
Shen Maomao: “……”
She couldn’t hold back her laughter. Her shoulders started to tremble, and she laughed like a goose19.
Lou Jingmo pinched her nose: “What are you laughing at? He specially ran over for such a small matter, and after running over, instead of looking for me, he started playing games with you. I think his thief’s heart toward you hasn’t died20.”
Shen Maomao, black person question mark: “You’re overthinking it, aren’t you?”
She wasn’t some fragrant steamed bun21. Golden Retriever, a rich second generation who didn’t lack money, had no reason to be so fixated on her.
Lou Jingmo was silent for a second, then nodded gravely: “It’s true that I overthought it.”
Shen Maomao was so angry she wanted to beat her up.
But Lou Jingmo cleverly changed the subject: “He probably got anxious.”
Shen Maomao raised her eyes: “Hm?”
“I told him before that I wouldn’t power-level22 for one person for too long. Now with the item use restriction, he’s lost his only trump card. It’s inevitable that he would start to get anxious.”
The higher the level, the higher the difficulty of the instance. Lou Jingmo just wanted to enter instances to find cards, not to court death and die inside. For those high-difficulty instances, even if she entered by herself, it would be a matter of nine deaths and one life23. How could she have the energy to take care of other people?
Shen Maomao was inevitably a little disappointed.
They hadn’t known Golden Retriever for long, and usually they always had an expression of disdain for him, but Shen Maomao genuinely considered him a friend. If one day he was gone…
Shen Maomao “pei”-ed three times in her heart.
This kind of flag25 shouldn’t be raised!
Lou Jingmo saw her expression and thought she was worried about her, so she said: “But you don’t need to have this concern, after all, you’ve already tied me down securely.”
Shen Maomao’s old face flushed red. She immediately threw Golden Hair, Red Hair, Green Hair, and Purple Hair to the back of her mind and said shyly: “What do you mean I tied you down securely? It was clearly you who chose me.”
“Does me choosing you conflict with you tying me down securely?” Lou Jingmo asked in return.
Shen Maomao gave her a kiss on the cheek: “Rewarding you with a kissy-kiss.”
Lou Jingmo tilted her head to look at her: “Rewarding me? Or scraping oil off me?26”
“That just now was called a reward, this is called scraping oil.” After speaking, Shen Maomao made a flying pounce, burying her face in a place where it shouldn’t be buried, and even rubbed it left and right a couple of times.
That feeling was a kind of enjoyment that could not be described with words.
Lou Jingmo smiled helplessly. Only after she finished burying herself did she say: “Do you want to go out and travel a bit?”
Shen Maomao was taken aback: “You finished writing your new book?”
“I rushed to finish the grand finale today and sent it to the editor. Want to hear a spoiler? The protagonist…”
Shen Maomao covered her ears: “Not listening, not listening, turtle chanting scriptures27.”
Lou Jingmo laughed: “So, do you want to go out for a stroll to relax? And have a date while we’re at it?”
Shen Maomao nodded frantically: “Go go go go go!!! Where are we going?! How are we going!”
Lou Jingmo: “It depends on where you want to go. Domestic or abroad are both fine. Just the two of us. You bring me, I’ll bring the money. Anything we’re missing, we can buy on the spot when we get there.”
Money was probably the most useless thing for players. If they didn’t hurry up and spend it, who knew if there would be a chance to spend it in the future.
So, although this bit of money couldn’t be brought to the table28 in front of real tycoons, she dared to spend as much as she earned—anyway, if she ran out of money, she could just find another local tyrant player like Golden Retriever to power-level for.
Shen Maomao’s eyes were shining: “Then I’ll look at some travel guides. Let’s do domestic first! In all my life I’ve never gone out to travel. It’s all procrastination’s fault.”
Lou Jingmo had no objection: “Okay, you arrange it. We’ll leave quietly. It’ll also give Golden Retriever some time to think, to let him properly consider whether he wants to pass the upcoming instances lying down, or if he wants to rely on his own efforts to pass them standing up.”
Shen Maomao: “Okay! Charge for the date!”
Footnotes
- 摩拳擦掌 | mó quán cā zhǎng | Literally “rubbing fists and wiping palms” | A Chinese idiom (chengyu) that means to get ready for a fight or to eagerly prepare for action.
- 中元节 | zhōng yuán jié | Also known as the Ghost Festival, it is a traditional Chinese festival celebrated on the 15th night of the 7th lunar month. It is a day when the realms of Heaven, Hell, and the living are believed to be open, and the spirits of the deceased visit the living. It involves rituals to honor ancestors, appease wandering ghosts, and avoid misfortune.
- 土豪 | tǔ háo | Literally “earth/local tyrant”. It is a popular Chinese internet slang term used to describe people who are rich but may be perceived as uncultured or unsophisticated. It’s often used to refer to the ‘nouveau riche’ who spend money lavishly.
- 有屁快放 | yǒu pì kuài fàng | A coarse and informal Chinese idiom that literally translates to “if you have a fart, let it out quickly.” It is a blunt and impatient way of telling someone to say what they have to say without beating around the bush.
- 黑人问号脸 | hēi rén wèn hào liǎn | Literally “black person question mark face.” This is a direct reference to a popular internet meme known as the “Confused Nick Young” meme, which features a picture of the basketball player with question marks around his head, expressing extreme confusion. It’s widely used in Chinese online communities to show bewilderment.
- 霸道总裁 | bà dào zǒng cái | Literally “domineering CEO” or “overbearing president.” This is a popular archetype in Chinese romance web novels and dramas. The character is typically a wealthy, powerful, handsome, and arrogant male lead who is possessive and controlling but ultimately falls deeply in love with the female protagonist.
- 咸鱼 | xián yú | Literally “salted fish.” A popular Chinese internet slang for a person who is lazy, unmotivated, and lacks ambition, similar to a “couch potato”.
- 金主 | jīn zhǔ | Literally “gold master.” A slang term for a financial backer, patron, or sponsor. In modern contexts, especially in relationships, it can carry the connotation of a “sugar daddy” or “sugar mommy” who provides financial support in exchange for companionship or other favors.
- 临幸 | lín xìng | A classical term that originally referred to an emperor visiting the chambers of a concubine or consort for sexual relations. In modern contexts, it is used humorously and ironically to describe someone of high status (or someone acting like it) gracing a subordinate or partner with their presence, often with a flirtatious or teasing undertone.
- 盘核桃 | pán hé táo | Literally “to play with walnuts.” This refers to a traditional Chinese pastime, particularly popular among older men, which involves rotating a pair of large, textured walnuts in one’s palm. It is believed to improve finger dexterity, stimulate blood circulation, and have a calming, meditative effect. It has become a cultural symbol of a leisurely, old-fashioned lifestyle.
- 吐槽 | tù cáo | A Chinese internet slang term borrowed from the Japanese ‘tsukkomi’ (ツッコミ), which is a role in Japanese comedy (manzai) involving sharp retorts or “roasting.” In Chinese, it means to complain, roast, or make sarcastic comments about something or someone.
- 打水漂 | dǎ shuǐ piāo | Literally “to hit the water and float away,” a reference to skipping stones. This idiom means that money, effort, or time has been completely wasted with nothing to show for it, like a stone that skips on the water and then sinks without a trace.
- 白瞎了 | bái xiā le | A Northern Chinese colloquialism. ‘白’ (bái) means ‘in vain’ or ‘for nothing’, and ‘瞎了’ (xiā le) means ‘to go blind’. Together, it means that something has been completely wasted, ruined, or used for naught. It implies a sense of pity or regret over the waste.
- 鬼哭狼嚎 | guǐ kū láng háo | A Chinese idiom (chengyu) that literally means “ghosts crying and wolves howling.” It is used to describe loud, mournful, and terrifying wailing or screaming.
- 心里有点方 | xīn lǐ yǒu diǎn fāng | Literally “my heart is a bit square.” ‘方’ (fāng) is a pun on ‘慌’ (huāng), which means ‘flustered’ or ‘panicked’. This is a popular Chinese internet slang phrase used to express a feeling of being nervous, anxious, or flustered.
- 狗男人 | gǒu nán rén | Literally “dog man.” A derogatory and informal slang term for a man. It can be used to express contempt, anger, or frustration towards a man, similar to calling someone a ‘jerk’ or ‘bastard’. It can also be used playfully or teasingly between friends or partners.
- 狗带 | gǒu dài | A Chinese internet slang term that is a literal, phonetic transliteration of the English phrase “go die.” It became popular from a rap by a former member of the K-pop group EXO, Huang Zitao. It’s often used humorously or sarcastically to express frustration or to tell someone (or oneself) to give up.
- 天打雷劈 | tiān dǎ léi pī | A Chinese idiom that literally means “to be struck by heavenly thunder and cleaved apart.” It is a common curse or oath, implying that a person deserves severe divine punishment for their actions. It’s often used to express extreme anger or to emphasize the gravity of a misdeed.
- 笑成了一只鹅 | xiào chéng le yī zhī é | A Chinese internet slang expression that literally means “laughed into a goose.” It describes a person laughing so hard that they make a honking sound, similar to a gooses.
- 贼心不死 | zéi xīn bù sǐ | A Chinese idiom (chengyu) that literally means “a thief’s heart that won’t die.” It is used to describe someone who has not given up on their evil, improper, or ulterior motives, implying that they are still waiting for an opportunity to act on their bad intentions.
- 香饽饽 | xiāng bō bo | Literally “fragrant steamed bun.” A colloquial metaphor for something or someone that is very popular, desirable, and highly sought-after. It implies that everyone wants a piece of it.
- 代练 | dài liàn | Literally “substitute training.” A term from the gaming world that refers to the service of ‘power-leveling’, where a player pays another, more skilled player to play on their account to raise its level, rank, or acquire items quickly.
- 九死一生 | jiǔ sǐ yī shēng | A Chinese idiom (chengyu) that literally means “nine deaths and one life.” It describes a situation of extreme danger where one has had a very narrow escape from death; to survive against all odds.
- 呸 | pēi | The pinyin representation of the sound of spitting. In Chinese culture, spitting (or making the sound) is a superstitious gesture used to ward off bad luck, jinxes, or evil spirits. Saying “pei pei pei” after mentioning something unfortunate is similar to the Western custom of “knocking on wood.”
- Flag | A loanword from English that has become a popular internet slang term in China. To “raise a flag” (立flag | lì flag) means to make a statement or prediction that, by the conventions of storytelling, dooms the speaker to the opposite outcome.
- 揩油 | kāi yóu | Literally “to scrape oil.” A slang term for taking a petty advantage of someone, especially in a physical or flirtatious manner.
- 不听不听王八念经 | bù tīng bù tīng, wáng ba niàn jīng | A playful and rhyming phrase that literally means “Not listening, not listening, a turtle is chanting scriptures.” ‘王八’ (wángba) is a derogatory term for a turtle and also a common insult.
- 上不了台面 | shàng bu liǎo tái miàn | An idiom that literally means “cannot be brought onto the stage/table.” It is used to describe something or someone as not being presentable, respectable, or significant enough to be shown or discussed in a formal or public setting.
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