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    The Hand of Confession, Slightly Trembling

    The Hand of Confession – Chapter 274

    by Little Panda

    Volume 8: The Days of the Ghost Marriage

    Sisters

    She has a song 《Red Bridal Gown》​1 she doesn’t know if she should sing or not

    With jackals in front and fierce tigers behind​2, Shen Maomao slammed on the brakes on the spot and chose death.

    She had a song 《Red Bridal Gown》 she doesn’t know if she should sing or not.

    Milk Tea was good-looking, and she looked quite beautiful wearing such a Chinese-style, bright red wedding gown. But no matter how beautiful she looked, it couldn’t hide the fact that she was now a ghost—her eyes had turned the same pure black as Cui Luoyu’s, her hair hung wetly by the side of her face, and beneath her was a spreading puddle of red water stains, as if the wedding gown had lost its color.

    She seemed to still have her consciousness as a player, recognizing Shen Maomao in an instant. She then stood up from the well’s edge, walked a few steps to stand before her, and stretched her mouth into an extremely terrifying smile, asking faintly: “Excuse me… have you seen my… older sister?”

    “Who is your older sister??!” Shen Maomao answered while looking behind her. Cui Luoyu was extending her claws toward her, scaring her into quickly changing direction. Just as she was about to sprint away, Milk Tea grabbed her by the wrist.

    She pulled her in front of herself, just in time to let her dodge Cui Luoyu’s attack, and then said intermittently: “She… pushed me into the well… The well is so cold… The well water is so chilly… It hurts so much… It’s so scary…”

    As she spoke, the expression on her face was at one moment pained, the next resentful, as if two different souls were fighting inside her body, vying for ownership of this vessel.

    After turning into a ghost, her strength had also become exceptionally great. The hand holding Shen Maomao’s was as firm as a massive rock. Shen Maomao struggled a couple of times but actually failed to break free.

    The two ghosts began a standoff, staring at each other from a short distance. One was standing, one was crawling; it was impossible to tell who was more powerful. But since Shen Maomao was caught by Milk Tea, she began to hug Milk Tea’s thigh​3, selling out Potato Chip without any sense of guilt: “Are you talking about Potato Chip? I know where she is, but that woman keeps trying to grab me. I might die at her hands, and then I won’t be able to take you to find her.”

    Milk Tea narrowed her eyes: “Are you taking me for a fool?”

    Shen Maomao: “…You can speak normally.”

    Milk Tea: “…”

    Shen Maomao: “I thought after you died your language system had a problem, and you could only speak in that gasping for breath​4 tone…”

    Milk Tea interrupted her with a deadpan expression: “Less nonsense, come with me!”

    After speaking, she grabbed her and rushed toward the well.

    Shen Maomao shrieked in terror: “Hey, sister! You can’t do this! We have no grievances in the past and no grudges in the present​5, don’t look for me as your substitute​6! I’ve already been reserved by a ghost, if you do this they’ll come looking for trouble with you!!”

    Amidst her howls, Milk Tea had already grabbed her with an attitude that brooked no refusal, run to the edge of the well, and dragged her into a leap. With a “plop,” they plunged into the well.

    The surface of the well bubbled “gurgle gurgle” a few times, then returned to silence, soundless and still.

    Cui Luoyu also rushed to the edge of the well and tentatively extended an arm into the well’s opening. Before it went in very far, it was blocked by something.

    This was not her territory​7, so there was nothing she could do.

    She angrily clawed at the well’s opening, then circled the well twice. After a series of futile efforts, she finally chose to give up and turned to leave.

    On the other side, Shen Maomao, who had sunk to the bottom of the water, kept her eyes and lips tightly shut and pinched her nose with her hand, trying her best not to inhale a single mouthful of well water.

    But the time a person can hold their breath is limited. Moreover, sinking in such a narrow well, so dark and cold, brought a sense of despair that was only more, not less, making her quickly unable to resist wanting to splash upwards.

    Milk Tea held her ankle firmly from below. Though she clearly didn’t open her mouth, her voice transmitted accurately into Shen Maomao’s ears: “What are you going up for? She hasn’t gone far yet!”

    No matter if she’s gone far or not, Shen Maomao thought, if I have to choose between drowning and having my head fall off, I’d rather choose having my head fall off. Because that’s just an instant, it definitely won’t be as painful as drowning.

    Milk Tea spoke again: “This is my territory now. The entire well is under my control. I can let you breathe in the well.”

    Shen Maomao did not believe her.

    But Milk Tea just wouldn’t let go. She puffed out her cheeks and kicked several times but couldn’t kick her away. Finally, she really couldn’t hold on any longer and took a huge gulp of water.

    But in the end, no water was actually inhaled? It was as if a pair of gills had grown by her mouth, allowing her to filter oxygen from the water, thus fulfilling the wish of swimming in water without equipment.

    She strangely opened and closed her mouth again, feeling that being in the water wasn’t much different from being on the ground, except that she was now floating in the water.

    “This…” She did a somersault in the water.

    Milk Tea: “…You’ve started playing around. Look clearly, the one before you is a fierce ghost.”

    Shen Maomao waved her hand nonchalantly, creating a series of splashing sounds: “In this situation, if you wanted to kill me, I definitely wouldn’t live for more than a minute, so there’s nothing to be afraid of anymore.”

    Milk Tea leaned against the well wall, looking up at the sky distorted by the well water. She was silent for a few seconds before saying: “Only after moving into the well did I realize how beautiful the outside world is.”

    Shen Maomao was already familiar with the process: “This contestant, please state your dream… ah, no, your story.”

    Milk Tea gave her a ghostly, sideways glance, but still began to speak: “I know I’m quite annoying, but I never thought she would hate me this much… Perhaps the outcome I have today is because I self make, self receive​8?”

    Shen Maomao listened with her ear cocked, her expression serious.

    But Milk Tea didn’t want to say any more, only saying: “I just want to ask her, since she hates me so much, why did she have to meekly and submissively curry favor with me all these years?”

    Simply a white lotus flower​9 that emerges from the mud unstained​10.

    Rivers and mountains are easy to change, but a person’s inherent nature is hard to move​11. Potato Chip hated her to this extent; if she were truly a person who would swallow humiliation to achieve her aim​12 and repay injury with kindness​13, the situation between the two of them probably would not have become what it is today.

    Shen Maomao asked her: “Just ask and not kill her?”

    Milk Tea smiled grimly: “Of course, she is my dearest older sister, how could I bear to kill her?”

    From her expression, Shen Maomao read the message “how could I let her die so easily.”

    Sure enough, even if Milk Tea was a true white lotus flower before, she should have turned into a black lotus flower​14 by now.

    Shen Maomao didn’t want to get too involved in the affairs of the two sisters, but Potato Chip had helped them sort out the plot, and Milk Tea had saved her dog’s life​15… And so the matter became difficult.

    After a few seconds of silence, she asked tentatively: “If I said that because both of you sisters have helped me, I can’t do anything… will you drown me here?”

    Milk Tea stared at her with pitch-black eyes, the smile on her face fading: “What do you think?”

    Shen Maomao irritably picked at the slippery green moss on the well wall and lay down like a salted fish​16: “Forget it, why don’t you send me up to that ghost above. I wasn’t lying to you, I really have been targeted by two old ghosts who want to capture me as a substitute. If you touch me, they won’t let you off. You saved me from her grasp, I can’t harm you.”

    It was unknown whether Milk Tea believed her or not. In the end, she just said: “Forget it, she’s gone. I’ll let you go back.”

    The water current began to swirl, forming a waterspout under her feet that lifted her out of the water, sending her back to the surface, and then continued to carry her upwards until she could lift her foot and step out of the well’s opening.

    Several deep scratch marks still remained on the well’s opening, enough to show just how angry Cui Luoyu had been—next time they meet, she’ll probably be torn to shreds directly, right?

    Shen Maomao leaped lightly out of the well’s opening and looked back at the small waterspout, feeling a little reluctant to part with it.

    Although she was chuuni​17 and a sand sculpture​18, she too had a dream of being a fairy when she was little, and she never expected it to be realized here today. If she weren’t worried about Lou Jingmo’s situation, she would have wanted to stand on it a while longer—if Milk Tea was willing.

    Playing in the water for a while, dodging a chase, and just as the seller said, she really didn’t choke on water, and even her clothes weren’t the least bit wet. The overall experience was good, a five-star review, will patronize again next time.

    …

    After bidding farewell to the conscientious seller Milk Tea, Shen Maomao ran straight for the southeast courtyard.

    Once Cui Luoyu was liberated, she might go on a killing spree​19, not necessarily following the situation they had discussed. But once she found Lou Jingmo, she would have her main heart bone​20 and wouldn’t be as utterly flustered​21 as she was now.

    She sprinted all the way, not seeing any living people on the road, let alone any corpses, until she ran to the front of the courtyard and saw Lou Jingmo walking out with a little girl.

    Lou Jingmo said: “Where’s the monster?”

    Shen Maomao: “Led it away and lost it.”

    Lou Jingmo: “?? I told you to kite the monster, and you led the monster until it was gone?”

    Shen Maomao, without a shred of shame, roughly recounted what had just happened, then looked at the little girl beside them: “Are we really taking her over there? Won’t it cause a psychological shadow​22 for the child?”

    The little girl obediently raised her head. Her overly thin cheeks made her eyes seem exceptionally large, giving her a somewhat eerie feeling, but as soon as she spoke, her soft and sweet childish voice broke that eerie feeling: “Big sister, I’m not afraid. As long as I can help you, it’s fine.”

    Shen Maomao tilted her head and looked at her for a while, then squatted down, narrowed her eyes, and pinched her little cheek, not using much strength in her hand: “This obedient?”

    Lou Jingmo slapped her hand away, “Speak properly, don’t move hands, move feet​23.”

    Shen Maomao stood up, attempting to communicate with her through her eyes, while saying aloud: “You even eat a little child’s vinegar​24?”

    However, Lou Jingmo had never been able to receive her signals, and this time was no exception: “Don’t you feel that your current actions are very creepy​25?”

    Shen Maomao: “?? What??”

    Lou Jingmo: “Look at you, with that narcissistic look on your face, squeezing your brows and making eyes at me​26. If I weren’t familiar with you, I would beat you until not even a ghost could recognize you.”

    Shen Maomao: “???”

    Lou Jingmo added: “I’m just telling you not to bully the child, don’t brain-supplement​27 so much.”

    Shen Maomao rolled her eyes at her in a big way: “Get lost!!”

    The little girl beside them said sensibly: “It’s okay, big sister’s pinch didn’t hurt.”

    Shen Maomao praised her without reservation: “So well-behaved! Much more sensible than this big sister next to you. What’s your name?”

    The little girl pursed her lips, hesitating for a moment before saying: “My name is Yatou​28.”

    TOC

    Footnotes

    1. 红嫁衣 | hóng jià yī | Literally “Red Bridal Gown.” This is the title of a well-known and notoriously creepy Chinese folk-style song. The lyrics tell the story of a bride who dies on her wedding day and returns as a ghost in her red wedding gown to find her groom. The color red, normally auspicious and associated with weddings in Chinese culture, is used here to create a sense of horror, subverting its traditional meaning.
    2. 前有豺狼，後有猛虎 | qián yǒu chái láng, hòu yǒu měng hǔ | Literally “jackals and wolves in front, fierce tigers behind.” A Chinese idiom describing a situation of being trapped between two dangers, with no way to advance or retreat. It signifies being in an extremely perilous dilemma.
    3. 抱大腿 | bào dà tuǐ | Literally “to hug a big thigh.” A popular and vivid slang term for currying favor with or sucking up to someone powerful and influential for personal gain, essentially seeking protection or benefits from a “big shot.”
    4. 上氣不接下氣 | shàng qì bù jiē xià qì | Literally “the upper breath does not connect with the lower breath.” A descriptive idiom meaning to be panting or gasping for breath, completely out of breath from exertion or shock.
    5. 往日無怨，近日無仇 | wǎng rì wú yuàn, jìn rì wú chóu | A common saying that literally translates to “no grievances in past days, no enmity in recent days.” It is used to declare that there has never been any conflict or bad blood between the parties involved, often when one is being unexpectedly attacked or accused.
    6. 替身 | tì shēn | Literally “substitute body.” In Chinese folklore and horror, this refers to a ghost’s replacement. It is believed that some ghosts of people who died unjustly or accidentally are bound to the place of their death and can only be freed to reincarnate if they trick a living person into dying in the same way, thus taking their place.
    7. 地盤 | dì pán | Literally “ground plate” or “plot of land.” A colloquial term for one’s territory, turf, or sphere of influence. In a supernatural context, it refers to an area controlled by a specific ghost or spirit, where their power is strongest.
    8. 自作自受 | zì zuò zì shòu | Literally “self make, self receive.” A Chinese idiom meaning to suffer the consequences of one’s own actions. It is equivalent to “you’ve made your bed, now lie in it” or “to reap what one sows.”
    9. 白蓮花 | bái lián huā | Literally “white lotus flower.” A popular modern Chinese internet slang term, ironically subverting the lotus flower’s traditional symbolism of purity. It describes a person, usually female, who presents a pure, innocent, and kind facade but is actually manipulative, selfish, and calculating. They feign weakness and morality to achieve their goals.
    10. 出淤泥而不染 | chū yū ní ér bù rǎn | Literally “to emerge from the mud yet remain unstained.” This is a famous line from the essay “On the Love of the Lotus” (愛蓮說) by the Song Dynasty scholar Zhou Dunyi (周敦頤). It praises the lotus flower for growing in mud but blooming pure and clean. The phrase is used metaphorically to describe a person who maintains their integrity and noble character despite being in a corrupt or sordid environment. Here, it is used sarcastically to describe Potato Chip’s facade.
    11. 江山易改，本性難移 | jiāng shān yì gǎi, běn xìng nán yí | Literally “rivers and mountains are easy to change, but a person’s inherent nature is hard to move.” A well-known Chinese proverb meaning that it is easier to change the physical world than to alter a person’s fundamental character. It’s equivalent to the English saying “a leopard can’t change its spots.”
    12. 委曲求全 | wěi qū qiú quán | Literally “to bend and compromise to seek completeness.” A Chinese idiom that means to make concessions and swallow humiliation, often against one’s principles, in order to preserve a larger interest or achieve a certain goal. It implies a sense of reluctant compromise under pressure.
    13. 以德報怨 | yǐ dé bào yuàn | Literally “to use virtue to repay grievances.” A classical phrase originating from the Tao Te Ching and also discussed by Confucius. It means to repay injury with kindness or to respond to malice with benevolence.
    14. 黑蓮花 | hēi lián huā | Literally “black lotus flower.” A modern Chinese internet slang term that is the opposite of a “white lotus” (白蓮花). It describes a character, often a protagonist, who may appear harmless or was once innocent, but has become ruthless, vengeful, and cunning after experiencing betrayal or hardship. They are not afraid to use morally ambiguous methods to achieve their goals, a trope that has become popular in web novels.
    15. 狗命 | gǒu mìng | Literally “dog’s life” or “dog’s fate.” A colloquial and self-deprecating term for one’s own life, implying that it is worthless or insignificant. It’s often used humorously to express being in a dangerous or precarious situation, e.g., “to save my own dog’s life.”
    16. 鹹魚 | xián yú | Literally “salted fish.” A popular Chinese internet slang term for someone who is lazy, unmotivated, and has no ambitions, much like a dead fish. It can be used self-deprecatingly to mean one has given up and is just lying around doing nothing.
    17. 中二 | zhōng èr | A Japanese loanword, from “chūnibyō” (中二病), literally “middle school second-year syndrome.” It’s a colloquial term used in East Asian youth culture to describe teenagers who have delusions of grandeur, pretending to have secret knowledge or hidden powers. It describes an overly dramatic, self-important, and somewhat cringeworthy phase.
    18. 沙雕 | shā diāo | Literally “sand sculpture.” This is a popular Chinese internet slang term that is a humorous, censored homophone for the vulgar term 傻屌 (shǎ diǎo), which means “stupid dick” or “fucking idiot.” “Shadiao” is used to describe people, content, or behavior that is hilariously stupid, nonsensical, or absurd.
    19. 大開殺戒 | dà kāi shā jiè | Literally “to greatly open the killing precept.” The term “precept” (戒) originates from Buddhism, referring to the rules of conduct, the foremost of which is not to kill. The phrase has since evolved into a common idiom meaning to go on a killing spree or to engage in a massacre.
    20. 主心骨 | zhǔ xīn gǔ | Literally “main heart bone.” A colloquial term for a person’s backbone or pillar of support. It refers to the person or thing one relies on most for guidance, decision-making, and emotional stability.
    21. 六神無主 | liù shén wú zhǔ | Literally “the six spirits have no master.” In traditional Chinese belief, the heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, and spleen each housed a spirit, collectively known as the “six spirits” (六神) that govern a person’s mental state. The idiom describes a state of being so panicked, shocked, or flustered that one is at a complete loss and doesn’t know what to do.
    22. 心理陰影 | xīn lǐ yīn yǐng | Literally “psychological shadow.” A common term for psychological trauma or a lasting negative mental impression left by a frightening or disturbing experience. The “shadow” metaphor implies a lingering darkness or fear in one’s mind.
    23. 動手動腳 | dòng shǒu dòng jiǎo | Literally “to move hands and move feet.” An idiom that describes inappropriate physical contact, such as groping, fondling, or getting handsy. It can also refer to starting a physical fight.
    24. 吃醋 | chī cù | Literally “to eat vinegar.” This is the standard and universal idiom for “to be jealous,” specifically in a romantic or possessive context. The origin story involves Emperor Taizong of the Tang Dynasty testing a minister’s wife, who chose to drink a cup of “poison” (which was actually vinegar) rather than allow her husband to take a concubine, thus demonstrating her “jealous” nature.
    25. 猥瑣 | wěi suǒ | A term meaning wretched, lewd, or creepy. It describes behavior or an appearance that is sleazy, perverted, or inspires disgust.
    26. 擠眉弄眼 | jǐ méi nòng yǎn | Literally “squeeze eyebrows, make eyes.” A descriptive idiom for making faces, winking, or using facial expressions to convey a secret or suggestive message.
    27. 腦補 | nǎo bǔ | Literally “brain supplement” or “to supplement with one’s brain.” A popular internet slang term for the act of overthinking, imagining, or filling in the gaps of a story or situation with one’s own elaborate scenarios, often with little to no evidence. It’s the process of creating fanfiction in one’s own head.
    28. 丫头 | yā tou | Literally “lass” or “girl.” The character 丫 (yā) originally depicted the forked shape of a young girl’s double hair buns. It is a common, often affectionate, term for a young girl or a daughter. It can also be used as a pet name for a younger woman by an elder or a romantic partner. In this context, it is used as a given name, which was common for girls in older times, often indicating a humble background or simply being a placeholder name.

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