So I Had No Choice But to Stop Being the White Moonlight – Chapter 98
by Little PandaI’m Not Going to Be the White Moonlight
I Do
On this day, the sun was brilliant, and the waves rose and fell.
The cresting foam seemed like a layer of pure white gauze, clustering and piling up, draped behind Chi Qian.
The sea breeze lifted the hem of Chi Qian’s dress, the light fabric fluttering like a butterfly’s wings.
Water splashed onto Chi Qian’s ankles, chasing away the unbearable summer heat, but her heart still pounded wildly.
It wasn’t that Chi Qian had never thought about a marriage proposal.
Sometimes, she even felt a little regretful.
She had been sent back to this world by the System in a daze, and as soon as she arrived, she was taken back to The Manor by Shi Jinlan.
There wasn’t much of an emotional push-and-pull between them, and very little sweet talk. Hanging over their heads was the seemingly insurmountable System.
To put it more pragmatically, her marriage to Shi Jinlan was an act of rebellion against the System’s control over their fate. She wanted to reach the story’s conclusion quickly, achieve world completion, and replace the protagonist.
So, compared to others who might prepare for half a year or even a full year, they had only a little over a month to plan their wedding. It was indeed a bit rushed, leaving little time for things like a proposal, an engagement ceremony, and so on.
Chi Qian understood this in her heart.
She had no real regrets. Everyone has their own story. Besides, Shi Jinlan had given her those jeweled collars, which were much bigger than any ring.
Large gems were worth more than small diamonds.
And she had two of them.
With this mindset, Chi Qian couldn’t believe her eyes now.
She had always thought the rings would be part of the wedding ceremony. She figured they would go look in a few days when she and Shi Jinlan returned to Ningcheng City, or simply pick them out online.
But now.
A thumb-sized diamond appeared before Chi Qian’s eyes. The black velvet of the box offered all the sunlight to the stone, making it shine with dazzling brilliance.
Ever since they decided to get married, posts would periodically pop up in Chi Qian’s feed—How big of a diamond ring should you buy?
The rings in those posts were lined up, from ten points to two carats, and the larger they were, the more they caught her eye.
Her desires and imagination had been confined to those carat counts.
At her most greedy, she had only thought of asking Shi Jinlan for an advance on her salary to buy a matching pair of two-carat rings, something worthy of Shi Jinlan’s status.
But Shi Jinlan didn’t want her to bite the bullet like that.
She gave her a ring far heavier than two carats.
The clear diamond, glowing with a light like the sea, appeared right before Chi Qian’s eyes.
It was the collector-grade diamond ring she had saved in her bookmarks, something to be admired but never attained.
This ring was said to have been the wedding ring of some princess, a testament to the love between her and her wife.
They had gone from childhood sweethearts to growing old together. Their love was unorthodox and not accepted by the society of their time, yet it was a complete and faithful love from beginning to end, making it all the more precious within the unfeeling and cold-hearted royal family.
Who knew how many days and months this beautiful luster had passed through before finally arriving in front of Chi Qian.
Chi Qian was starting to understand why Shi Jinlan had told her to change into a pretty dress before they left. Before this, she had thought the woman was just being critical of her.
“President Shi, shouldn’t you be saying something?”
Time hadn’t been paused. While Chi Qian was still in shock, Song Tang, who had been ready all along, raised her phone.
Mustering her courage and borrowing from the happy, excited atmosphere of the moment, she reminded Shi Jinlan in a cheerful voice.
Upon hearing Song Tang’s words, a faint smile appeared in Shi Jinlan’s eyes. “I forgot.”
She wasn’t as calm as she appeared on the surface. If one could cut open her heart and take a look, it would be beating no less erratically than Chi Qian’s.
This was her first time proposing, too. She looked up at Chi Qian, her calm pupils tinged with nervousness. “Forgive me. I’m actually a bit nervous, too.”
“It’s okay.” Chi Qian had never seen Shi Jinlan like this.
In her memory, this person had always been composed and steadfast, completely unshakable.1
How could a ring weighing only a few carats weigh her down so much that her voice trembled with tiny breaks?
“Chi Qian, will you marry me?” Shi Jinlan asked.
The moment those words came out, Chi Qian could no longer hold back her tears.
She felt like she was crying for no reason. Just a moment ago, she hadn’t felt the slightest urge to cry.
Tears quickly welled up in her eyes, like a gathering ocean.
In that instant, countless images flooded her mind, overlapping one another. The scene of her and Shi Jinlan meeting by the sea alone stirred up layer after layer of waves.
The waves churned, merging their figures into a blurry afterimage.
It was like a low-resolution picture, or like the same old movie being played simultaneously in its many remade versions.
But even though the images were blurry, Chi Qian and Shi Jinlan would always find their way to knowing each other, to promising themselves to each other…
The silver bracelet was cold against Chi Qian’s wrist. There were indeed many things she couldn’t remember.
But in her mind, in her eyes, there was only Shi Jinlan.
The Shi Jinlan she knew.
The Shi Jinlan she loved.
Chi Qian looked tearfully at Shi Jinlan, who was kneeling on one knee before her. It felt as if a butterfly had landed on her lips, kissing her with a gentle, trembling flutter.
“Ah Lan, I think I know why it doesn’t matter anymore.” Chi Qian remembered how Shi Jinlan had told her “it doesn’t matter” more than once.
At the time, she hadn’t understood, thinking it was just Shi Jinlan’s way of comforting her.
But now, she understood.
Following behind Shi Jinlan, she was slowly beginning to understand her thoughts, her heart beating entirely for her. “Because even if I forgot you, I would still fall in love with you.”
Shi Jinlan would fall in love with Chi Qian thousands upon thousands of times.
And Chi Qian would fall in love with Shi Jinlan thousands upon thousands of times.
Shi Jinlan gazed at Chi Qian, and when she heard her say those words, her own eyes reddened.
Her Ah Qian finally understood.
“So your answer is—” Shi Jinlan couldn’t wait.
“I do.” Chi Qian nodded emphatically.
Their voices rang out at the same time. Chi Qian smiled and gave her hand to Shi Jinlan.
The brilliant diamond settled on Chi Qian’s finger, its considerable weight feeling like the weight of a vow.
Chi Qian admired the diamond ring on her hand for a moment, then took the other ring box from Shi Jinlan and slid the ring onto Shi Jinlan’s finger.
Two diamonds of the same size stood side-by-side in the sunlight once more. Even with dust and ash floating in the outside air, their light was still more dazzling and brilliant than it had been in the softly lit collection room.
This was where they were meant to be.
“Wuhu—!!2 Ah Qian, look over here!” Seeing the two exchange rings through her lens, Song Tang was so excited she was about to jump.
She held up her phone, signaling for Chi Qian to raise her hand and show off her diamond ring for the camera.
Chi Qian quickly understood and generously raised her hand for Song Tang.
Despite the distance, Song Tang’s eyes were still dazzled by the huge diamond on Chi Qian’s hand.
She smelled the rich scent of money. She looked at Shi Jinlan, for whom this sum was but a tenth of her wealth, and gestured for her to cooperate as well.
She’d never have a chance to own one, so couldn’t she at least feast her eyes and be blinded by these two massive rings along with everyone else?
But Shi Jinlan didn’t wait for Song Tang’s signal. The moment she saw Chi Qian make a heart shape with her hands towards her, she raised her own ringed hand.
It was still a bit incongruous to see the insufferably arrogant great president making such a childish gesture. Song Tang watched, snickered to herself, and then shouted with genuine praise, “A perfect match! You’re so perfect for each other!”
“Send me the video,” Chi Qian said eagerly.
Song Tang put away her phone, made an “OK” gesture, and without bothering to edit or filter it, sent the original video she had shot to the small group chat they had created last night.
Perhaps love shouldn’t be measured by money, but when Song Tang saw the ring on Chi Qian’s finger on the video’s auto-generated cover image, she couldn’t help but sigh. “Such a beautiful ring. When will I ever have one?”
“Miss Song.”
Just as Song Tang was sighing, a soft voice called to her from behind.
Yuan Ming, who had been silent until now, walked over to Song Tang’s side.
Song Tang looked at the shadow that fell over her shoulder, a little puzzled. “What is it, Miss Yuan?”
“A ring.”
As Yuan Ming spoke, she produced a ring from her hand as if by magic.
It was a circlet woven from several small flowers. The cool blue hue looked exceptionally soft in the light as it was presented before Song Tang’s eyes.
In that instant, Song Tang felt her heart being drawn to the flower, her eyes wide with disbelief and surprise. “For… me?”
Yuan Ming nodded and said softly, “Didn’t you say you wanted one, too?”
“What Ah Qian has, you will have too.”
Her voice was as gentle as ever, as calm as a pool of turquoise water.
But the waves never ceased their assault on the shore, and a sudden crash made Song Tang’s heart skip a beat.
She had just said that casually. How did Yuan Ming take it to heart?
Besides, Yuan Ming had called out to her right after she said it. To do this only after hearing her remark wasn’t genuine. What Chi Qian has, she must have too—that was the genuine part.
What a strange woman.
What a strange feeling.
Song Tang was clearly aware of the inconsistencies in Yuan Ming’s logic, yet she couldn’t bring herself to feel any aversion towards her.
She feigned a casual air as she took the ring from Yuan Ming’s hand and put it on with great composure. “Thanks.”
It was just a few small flowers, anyway. She could accept the gesture without being financially indebted to her.
As Song Tang thought this, she inexplicably held her finger up to the sun.
The gentle blue was suffused with sunlight, looking like melting glacial ice—a crystalline blue, very beautiful.
“What kind of flower is this?” Song Tang asked curiously.
“Forget-me-not,” Yuan Ming said.
As the words sounded, Song Tang instinctively turned to look at Yuan Ming.
Unexpectedly, Yuan Ming was also looking at her.
Their eyes met, and the sea breeze swept over them, carrying the summer heatwave.
Song Tang’s red hair fluttered in the wind like a lit torch, setting her heart ablaze.
“I think something’s going on.”
While Song Tang and Yuan Ming’s gazes were locked, they didn’t realize someone was watching them from a distance.
Chi Qian’s brow furrowed slightly as she looked at Song Tang standing with Yuan Ming, her voice tinged with worry.
Shi Jinlan could also see the strange atmosphere between the two. She turned to Chi Qian and asked, “What do you think?”
“Actually, Yuan Ming… she…” Chi Qian hesitated, then looked at Shi Jinlan. “She knows I’m not me.”
Hearing this, Shi Jinlan’s gaze paused. “How come I’ve never heard you mention this?”
Chi Qian scratched her head, a little at a loss. “I didn’t know how to bring it up before, because this actually happened a long time ago.”
“Do you remember that time we went to the ancestral hall to cast the divination cups? I was trying to weave a flower wreath for you, and Ah Yuan came over. We only exchanged a few words before she said that ‘I’ wasn’t ‘me’.”
How could Shi Jinlan forget that incident? Because of it, her expression grew even more profound.
“This friend of yours has always been sharp,” Shi Jinlan said flatly, staring at Yuan Ming’s back.
“That’s why I always thought Ah Yuan’s heart already belonged to someone, but now…” As Chi Qian spoke, her voice trailed off. Amidst her confusion, there was also a sense of bewilderment, unsure if she should think so poorly of Yuan Ming.
“And Tangtang, she seems so free and unrestrained, but she can be quite naive sometimes.” Chi Qian felt even more confused about the situation.
Then, a hand rested on her head.
Shi Jinlan smoothed Chi Qian’s furrowed brow, her voice as calm as water. “Think less about Yuan Ming’s affairs.”
Chi Qian looked up, thinking Shi Jinlan was jealous. “Ah Lan, can you not be so petty? Ah Yuan really isn’t your love rival.”
Shi Jinlan was unconcerned.
They were indeed not love rivals.
But they were not friends, either.
Things seemed to be spiraling out of control, or perhaps they were still developing within Shi Jinlan’s grasp.
And there were some things she didn’t want Chi Qian to know. She didn’t want her to be in any danger.
With that thought, Shi Jinlan changed the subject. “Chi Qian, could you please not neglect your newly-engaged fiancée?”
There was a helpless plea in Shi Jinlan’s words, her jealousy obvious.
“Sorry.” Chi Qian immediately gave an embarrassed smile.
She turned around and wrapped an arm around Shi Jinlan’s waist.
The wind carried by the waves swept past as she kissed Shi Jinlan’s lips.
The author has something to say:
Lanlan (puckering her lips): I want more~
Qianqian: Back to Ningcheng City! Immediately! Right now!
Footnotes
- The original idiom is ‘ba feng bu dong’, meaning ‘the eight winds cannot move it’. The eight winds are worldly influences: praise, ridicule, honor, disgrace, gain, loss, pleasure, and sorrow.
- An exclamation of excitement, ‘Wuhu!’, popularized by Chinese video game streamers. It is a pun on the name of the city Wuhu.
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