So I Had No Choice But to Stop Being the White Moonlight – Chapter 95
by Little PandaI’m Not Going to Be the White Moonlight
Wife, I know I was wrong.
The gurgling warmth of the hot spring lingered in the room, coating the shadows of their touching figures in a layer of mist.
The thin fabric of her yukata couldn’t fend off any invasion. A slender palm landed without warning on Chi Qian’s thigh, scorching hot and damp—the perfect environment for an electric current to spread wantonly.
In Chi Qian’s impression, Shi Jinlan had never been this unrestrained.
Whether it was flirtation or possessiveness, it had always been confined to a space where it was just the two of them.
But right now…
Shi Jinlan’s hand was pressed against her leg, openly and without any attempt to hide it.
Her expression was calm, seemingly devoid of emotion, but her fingers were another story. Acting in complete opposition, they treated Chi Qian’s leg as a canvas, lingering and caressing, painting a picture of unknown name.
Song Tang and Yuan Ming were right beside them. Chi Qian’s heart was about to leap out of her throat.
If the two of them saw this, Yuan Ming might not say anything, but Song Tang… with her personality, she would tease Chi Qian to death.
For the sake of her future dignity in front of Song Tang, Chi Qian had to grit her teeth and pretend nothing was wrong.
She drew her arm back, slowly reaching under the table to find Shi Jinlan’s hand and make her pull it away.
But her fingers couldn’t speak. Just as she was about to pry Shi Jinlan’s hand from her leg, her own was caught in a reverse grip.
Shi Jinlan unhurriedly examined Song Tang’s design drafts, pointing to the wedding robe that Song Tang had enlarged. “Are the flowers embroidered on this lilies?”
“Yes, I found several Suzhou embroidery masters. They made it look very realistic,” Song Tang said, nodding. She leaned across Chi Qian, answering Shi Jinlan with even more professionalism than before. 1
“It’s quite good. The color gradient is very meticulous,” Shi Jinlan acknowledged with a nod, as if her attention was entirely focused on the draft.
No one would look under the table, nor could they see that Shi Jinlan’s other hand was currently holding several of Chi Qian’s fingers.
The slightly longer nail on her pinky was stroking the delicate satin, the minute vibrations making Chi Qian’s nerves tremble from her bones outward, leaving her weak and numb.
Listening to Shi Jinlan’s continuous conversation with Song Tang, Chi Qian’s focus was in a state of being both concentrated and scattered.
Watching Shi Jinlan and Song Tang chat back and forth, she thought she was starting to understand what this person was up to.
This was pure retaliation!
She was getting revenge because Chi Qian had been chatting so enthusiastically with Song Tang just now, ignoring her!
And…
And when she got excited, she had even leaned closer and closer to Song Tang.
Chi Qian realized her previous understanding had been wrong.
Shi Jinlan was indeed a restrained and rational person who knew what to do and what not to do in any given situation. Which was precisely why she had no inhibitions, was adept at grasping people’s weaknesses, and knew how to bully others by relying on her power.
And right now, Chi Qian was the target of that bullying.
“This is… two tails intertwined.” Shi Jinlan’s gaze was still on the wedding robes for her and Chi Qian.
Her finger traced down the tails of the two phoenixes.
And the fingers on Chi Qian’s leg were also moving.
The thin, soft yukata was the biggest traitor on Chi Qian’s body. It was bad enough that it offered no protection, but it was also so easily lifted.
Her slightly longer fingernails were like a dull blade, roaming over Chi Qian’s skin, sliding and turning lightly, as if mimicking the intertwined tails of the phoenixes.
Trembling nerves spread out like roots, following the lines Shi Jinlan had drawn.
The warm air of the room pressed in on Chi Qian. She bit the inside of her lip, her cheeks flushing crimson.
This place was the perfect excuse for her blush.
But it was also the perfect place for Shi Jinlan to be so audacious.
Chi Qian’s fingers struggled, gently scraping against Shi Jinlan’s palm, telling her to stop.
But Shi Jinlan only tightened her grip on Chi Qian’s fingertips.
Her expression was placid, but her actions were wanton.
She kneaded them gently, occasionally scraping a nail lightly over Chi Qian’s fingertip. She seemed like an attentive listener, but in reality, she was an out-and-out villain.
“I felt that the popular dragon and phoenix designs on the market didn’t quite fit our theme, so I redrew this draft.” Song Tang flipped the folder to a later page, showing Shi Jinlan more of the double phoenix patterns she had drawn. “President Shi can see which ones you’d like to use.”
“What does Ah Qian think?” Shi Jinlan’s malicious punishment reached its peak at this moment.
As she spoke, she looked at Chi Qian. Her fingers slipped through the gaps between Chi Qian’s and returned to her thigh.
Chi Qian took a deep breath, her wandering attention snapping back.
She looked at the exquisite patterns before her, genuinely unsure which to choose. “I think they’re all beautiful.”
“But if they’re to be embroidered on the wedding robes, don’t they need to be combined?” Chi Qian said, looking toward Song Tang, her body starting to shift in that direction.
Chi Qian wanted to secretly escape from Shi Jinlan’s grasp.
Although the likelihood of being dealt with by this person tonight was now even greater, at least for this moment, she could preserve her dignity in front of Song Tang.
You can’t have both fish and a bear’s paw.2
If she wanted dignity, she couldn’t think about having to coax Shi Jinlan afterward.
But Shi Jinlan wouldn’t allow it.
She wanted both the fish and the bear’s paw.
And she had the power to get them.
With a slight exertion of force, she pressed Chi Qian’s leg firmly into her palm. The hem of that light skirt remained pinned by Shi Jinlan, unable to get close to a third person.
Chi Qian froze, turning to look at Shi Jinlan.
Shi Jinlan’s expression was the same as ever, but the look in her eyes as she gazed at Chi Qian had gained a heavy, ambiguous quality.
Chi Qian’s heart skipped a beat.
She knew she was done for.
Only Chi Qian was aware of this; Song Tang hadn’t noticed a thing.
Her attention was still on “how to satisfy the big boss,” and she dutifully answered Chi Qian’s earlier question. “Yes, some of them might not be suitable to be grouped together.”
As she said this, Song Tang began to consider the matter, her pen sketching out rough combination outlines.
Song Tang surely had no idea what a wonderful pastime her good friend had provided for Shi Jinlan during this tedious waiting period.
Shi Jinlan now had plenty of patience to wait for Song Tang. Her fingers slid across that delicate skin, leaving a faint red mark.
Then she went back, leaving another red mark on the other side.
Chi Qian bit her lip as hard as she could.
She had never thought Shi Jinlan could be so petty.
So what if she had a happy chat with Song Tang?
So what if she called Song Tang “darling” once…
So what if she… almost leaned on Song Tang…
Her initial sense of righteousness slowly gave way to a guilty conscience.
Chi Qian understood more and more why Shi Jinlan was punishing her like this, and she understood more and more that she wouldn’t be let off easily.
Only when facing a desperate situation will a salted fish struggle.
Shi Jinlan understood Chi Qian, and Chi Qian also knew what Shi Jinlan couldn’t resist.
Just as Song Tang was combining the patterns, Chi Qian raised her eyes to Shi Jinlan.
She cunningly used the surrounding steam to make her eyes look watery, gazing at Shi Jinlan with a pitiful expression, as if to say, “I was wrong.”
In the misty heat, a strand of dark brown hair clung to Chi Qian’s fair neck, like the collar Shi Jinlan had personally removed the day before they came here.
Devastating.
Chi Qian pressed her advantage. Her lips moved, mouthing the words that made Shi Jinlan’s heart race: “Wife, I know I was wrong.”
Now this was true bullying by relying on one’s power.
A long beeeep sounded in Shi Jinlan’s head, echoing through her world.
Chi Qian had only mouthed the words, yet it seemed louder than any time she had ever said them aloud.
Shi Jinlan gazed at Chi Qian’s round, puppy-like eyes, restraining herself again and again to suppress the urge to kiss her right then and there.
She had wanted to teach Chi Qian a lesson about playing with fire.
She never expected that she would be the one burned by Chi Qian’s flame.
Exhaling heavily, Shi Jinlan silently placed a tightening hoop around her own heart.3
Song Tang also felt she had kept Shi Jinlan waiting long enough and looked up. “I should probably go back and work on the combinations. I’ll show you the final drafts once they’re ready.”
Shi Jinlan nodded. “Thank you for your hard work. If you need anything, feel free to contact me. I’ll do my best to cooperate with your plan.”
“President Shi is so generous.”
Was there anything more blissful than a Client Daddy who had few demands and lots of money?!4
Nope!
As Song Tang spoke, a standard, fawning smile of a worker appeared on her face.5
Just then, Yuan Ming, who had been silent all this time, finally spoke up.
She was flipping through Song Tang’s drafts with a look of admiration, then asked her in a gentle voice, “Miss Song, have you thought about where to hold the venue?”
Song Tang shook her head. “I just arrived on the island today. I was planning to scout some locations in the next couple of days.”
Saying this, she then looked at Yuan Ming. “Does Miss Yuan have any recommendations?”
Yuan Ming thought for a moment. “I do have a few places in mind.”
But then she looked at Song Tang again and said, “However, personal aesthetics are very subjective. A place I think is good might not be what Miss Song has in mind. How about I accompany you to take a look when you have time?”
“Sure!” Song Tang agreed at once. With a local to guide her, she would surely unlock many great spots not advertised in the tourist brochures.
Yuan Ming saw the red hair that fell forward as Song Tang nodded, and the corners of her eyes curved slightly.
But then she heard Song Tang say, “Ah Qian and President Shi should come too.”
“Huh?”
Song Tang had suddenly passed the conversation to Chi Qian. Yuan Ming was surprised, and Chi Qian seemed to be out of it as well.
Her hand had finally been released by Shi Jinlan.
The fingertips, rich with nerve endings, had been intertwined, the light squeezing feeling like an intimate whisper.
Mimicking what Shi Jinlan had done earlier, she folded and then grasped Shi Jinlan’s hand.
After caressing it several times, she finally slipped her fingers through the gaps and clasped them together.
Seeing that Chi Qian hadn’t seemed to hear clearly, Song Tang repeated herself. “We’ll go look for a venue together one day. You in?”
“Okay!” Chi Qian was very much looking forward to this and agreed immediately. “When are we going?”
“Tomorrow?” Song Tang suggested. “The sooner we decide, the more time we’ll have later.”
“That’s true.” Chi Qian turned to Shi Jinlan, her thumb gently rubbing Shi Jinlan’s palm. “Is Miss Shi free tomorrow?”
“Of course,” Shi Jinlan replied calmly with a nod.
“Miss Yuan? Is tomorrow okay for you?” Song Tang then asked.
At her eager question, Yuan Ming pulled her gaze away from Shi Jinlan and Chi Qian’s interaction.
She hadn’t expected Song Tang to ask her again. A warm smile touched her eyes as she answered gently, “As long as you’re inviting, I’m free anytime.”
With everything settled, the four of them finally brought up Auntie Zhou’s earlier recommendation.
Midsummer didn’t seem like a good time for a hot spring. The steam was sweltering, the temperature even higher than the sun outside.
But the gurgling water was far less glaring than the daylight. Soaking in the hot spring was comfortable and relaxing, instantly making one feel as if all their worries had vanished.
Birds chirped continuously from the back mountain, and the curling mist merged the room with nature.
Shi Jinlan leaned lightly against the polished stone wall, her gaze fixed on Chi Qian, whose face was half-submerged in the pool.
Song Tang must have taught her something just now, because she was wearing a sheep horn towel hat on her head.6
Her long, dark hair was completely wrapped up, with only a few stray strands floating on the water’s surface like little snakes that belonged to her.
After a while, she put another towel on her head.
A rosy blush soon spread across her fair little face. Seeing her enjoying herself so freely made Shi Jinlan feel as if a lifetime had passed.
It was just like this the first time she and Chi Qian had come here.
Shi Jinlan wished so much that from now on, Chi Qian could always be this happy. Although the girl’s thoughtlessness was sometimes infuriating, this was her at her most joyful.
This was enough.
With that thought, Shi Jinlan slowly tilted her head back.
The scene in her peripheral vision changed, and an inconspicuous gaze entered her line of sight.
The gaze was extremely quiet, and the surrounding mist made it difficult to see clearly, but Shi Jinlan was certain that Yuan Ming was looking at Song Tang.
This friend of Chi Qian’s from the System was also wearing the same sheep horn hat, carefully protecting her hair.
She was relaxed and at ease, her slender arms resting casually on the uneven rocks, completely unaware of the gaze secretly watching her through the mist.
She was exactly like the Chi Qian of the past, with no sense of alertness at all.
But then again…
Why was Yuan Ming so concerned with this woman who, to her, was just a newly appeared stranger?
The night was like spilled ink. A bright moon hung on the treetops, painting the only color on the night’s canvas.
The sea rose and fell, its waves washing ashore with a deep, slow rhythm, composing a tranquil melody for the night.
Chi Qian changed into her nightdress and gazed at the moon outside the window, lying alone on her bed.
Because the house was now larger and Shi Jinlan was no longer ill, Chi Qingyan had prepared a guest room for Shi Jinlan while they were out.
The two of them were staying on different floors, on opposite sides of the house, a completely diagonal relationship. Any comings and goings would be noticed by Chi Qingyan, making a secret rendezvous impossible.
In the moonlit night, a dog barked in the distance, as if someone had returned home late.
Listening to the sound, Chi Qian suddenly thought of herself today, and of the grandfather who had waited three years for her.
During those three years, when her grandfather heard a dog bark, would he have fantasized that she had come back?
If only she had come back a little sooner.
Thinking of Chi Qingyan’s reddened eyes, Chi Qian sat up in bed.
“Knock, knock.”
In the room so quiet you could hear a pin drop, a knock sounded at the door.
Under the dim yellow light, Chi Qingyan, wearing a pair of reading glasses, looked up from his desk.
He stared at the door, calling out to the blurry figure there, “Qianqian?”
“It’s me, Grandfather.”
Unlike the past three years, this time Chi Qian answered him.
“Is there something you need?” Chi Qingyan was momentarily stunned, and then he saw the door really was pushed open a crack.
Moonlight filtered through the pomegranate tree in the courtyard, and then a small head squeezed in.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, Grandfather. I missed you a little,” Chi Qian said, standing at the door, a bit embarrassed.
“Let’s go to the courtyard, then. This room of mine is full of the smell of medicinal herbs, very bitter. It should be cooler in the courtyard now.” Chi Qingyan immediately stood up, for once treating the bitterness as a bad thing, and took off the glasses from the bridge of his nose.
“Okay.” Chi Qian nodded and took the initiative to help Chi Qingyan up.
As soon as the two of them reached the courtyard, Chi Qian deftly brought over two chairs.
Chi Qingyan looked at her and smiled. “How did you become so sensible after being away for so long?”
“I’ve always been sensible, okay?” Chi Qian tilted her head up haughtily.
Chi Qingyan followed the line of her upturned head and stroked it, his hand sliding down to her back, feeling her thin frame. “You rascal.”
“These past few years with Miss Shi, how has she treated you?” Chi Qingyan then asked.
Hearing this, Chi Qian’s proud gaze softened, and she looked straight at the moon in the sky.
She hadn’t actually been with Shi Jinlan these past few years. Shi Jinlan, just like Chi Qingyan, had waited many years for her.
“I’ve had a good few years, but Ah Lan has not,” Chi Qian answered cryptically.
Chi Qingyan sighed at this answer. “She has done her best to protect you, then.”
“Ah Lan is a really good person.” Chi Qian knew Chi Qingyan didn’t like Shi Jinlan, and she tried hard to change his opinion of her.
But Chi Qingyan didn’t seem to want to hear it. Instead, he looked at Chi Qian. “So you’ve decided?”
Chi Qian knew what he was talking about and nodded firmly. “Yes.”
“Even if I don’t agree,” Chi Qingyan continued.
Hearing this, Chi Qian’s heart leaped into her throat. She cared deeply about his opinion. “Grandfather, don’t you want me to spend the rest of my life with someone who truly loves me?”
“But what if you can’t spend the rest of your lives together?” Chi Qingyan’s words were direct, hitting right at the heart of Chi Qian’s worries, and his biggest concern from the moment he learned of Shi Jinlan’s prominent status.
“Then I’ll go to where she is and find her.” Without hesitation, Chi Qian answered almost by reflex, as if she had said the same thing at some other time.
As she said this, Chi Qian was exceptionally resolute.
She looked at Chi Qingyan, her eyes filled with determination.
Chi Qingyan understood.
He was helpless against Chi Qian. Children will always have their own ideas. He could shelter her for a while, but not for a lifetime.
Shi Jinlan was indeed not his ideal choice.
But for the past three years, she had never stopped loving Chi Qian. The development of the island was a continuation and manifestation of her feelings for Chi Qian. He had to admit that this Miss Shi, whose status was now unparalleled, truly loved their family’s little Qian.
Perhaps nothing in the world could be perfect.
“You rascal, you always have your own ideas,” Chi Qingyan chided her.
Chi Qian, however, linked her arm through the one he extended, growing close to him with great ease. “Grandfather, this is called having my own opinions.”
“Hmph.” Chi Qingyan was unconvinced. He patted Chi Qian’s hand, his fingers brushing over the bracelet on her wrist. “This is something you’ve worn since you were little. Do you want Grandfather to add some gold to it, make it gold inlaid with silver? It would look nice for your wedding.”
Chi Qian followed his words and glanced down. The bracelet she couldn’t take off had become a symbol of her current identity.
“No need.” Chi Qian’s tone was light as she refused his offer.
This was from the Main System. She didn’t want it mixed with her grandfather’s precious gold.
“Grandfather, don’t be so stingy. Why not just make me a solid gold one?” Chi Qian thought, then said to Chi Qingyan half-jokingly.
“Of course you’ll have that.” Chi Qingyan looked at Chi Qian with a helpless yet doting expression, chiding her, “You little money-grubber.”
“Hehe.” Chi Qian cheerfully accepted the nickname.
The faint scent of herbs drifted into her nose. She herself hadn’t noticed how naturally close she was to Chi Qingyan.
The night wind blew over, carrying a gentle warmth. At some point, Chi Qian had fallen asleep, leaning on Chi Qingyan’s shoulder.
Chi Qingyan turned to look at his soundly sleeping granddaughter, his aged hand gently stroking her delicate cheek.
The bracelet dangling on Chi Qian’s wrist refracted a bright silver light, as if a segment of time had been inverted.
A deep breathing sound reached Chi Qingyan’s ears, like a worn-out bellows that could break at any moment.
A white film covered his clouded vision. A person with the exact same figure as Chi Qian was standing before him.
She said she would live a good life, but he was still worried.
“I want to ask, too.”
“That granddaughter of mine… where did she go?”
“Is she… is she okay?”
The author has something to say:
I wrote a ton today! Let’s count it as a small two-in-one chapter! Hands on hips, hehe ovo
Footnotes
- Suzhou embroidery, or Suxiu, is a highly acclaimed style of Chinese silk embroidery from Suzhou, known for its refined and delicate craftsmanship.
- An idiom from the philosopher Mencius, “鱼和熊掌不可兼得” (yú hé xióngzhǎng bùkě jiāndé), meaning one must sometimes make a difficult choice between two desirable things. It’s the equivalent of “you can’t have your cake and eat it too.”
- A reference to the magical golden fillet worn by Sun Wukong in the classic novel “Journey to the West”. It serves as a metaphor for imposing self-restraint.
- “甲方爸爸” (jiǎfāng bàba), literally “Party A Father” or “Client Daddy,” is internet slang for an ideal client who pays well, on time, and doesn’t make excessive demands.
- “打工人” (dǎgōngrén) is a popular, self-deprecating internet slang term in China that translates to “worker.” It’s used humorously by people from all professions to describe their status as employees.
- A common sight in Japanese onsen or East Asian bathhouses, where a small towel is folded to resemble the horns of a bighorn sheep and worn on the head.
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