So I Had No Choice But to Stop Being the White Moonlight – Chapter 104

I’m Not Going to Be the White Moonlight

The Beginning of the Beginning

Miss Shen’s Little Shadow

It was one thing to be secretly watching someone, but to be caught red-handed​¹…

            

Chi Qian felt that this scene was exceptionally familiar, and her entire face quickly began to burn.

The sunlight before the window was scorching and dazzling. Shi Jinlan propped up her chin with one hand, gazing at Chi Qian without the slightest reservation.

Her slender arm and jaw formed a long, fair line. The sun rendered her skin translucent, and a golden light coiled around her, lingering for a long moment before finally settling gently upon Chi Qian’s line of sight.

            

Chi Qian had almost forgotten how much Shi Jinlan, under the alias of Miss Shen Lan, loved to tease her.

She didn’t know where Shi Jinlan got the inclination from. She clearly looked like a cold, aloof young lady in distress who kept others at a distance, yet inside she was full of black ink.​² No matter the time or place, she was always the same, never stopping until Chi Qian’s ears were burning hot.

“I… I was just thinking how amazing Miss Shen is,” Chi Qian said, her face red as she forced a defense. “You knew where I went wrong after just one look. You’re truly a genius at studying medicine to save people.”

            

Hearing Chi Qian’s explanation, Shi Jinlan let out a soft laugh. “Is that so.”

She looked at the text and images spread out before her, a layer of coldness suddenly appearing in her eyes. “I can’t save anyone.”

There seemed to be a sigh in her words. Chi Qian felt her own heart plummet with a thud.

            

The biggest drawback of love at first sight is that your affection is one thing, but as you get to know the person more clearly, you discover they aren’t as perfect as when you first met.

“Will Miss Chi regret saving me?” As if she could see right through Chi Qian’s thoughts, Shi Jinlan rested her chin on her hand and deliberately asked.

A smile never left her eyes, as if she didn’t care much about the answer to this question.

            

Yet her gaze remained fixed on Chi Qian’s face, watching every inch of her reaction.

“Not really.” Chi Qian’s honesty was written in her eyes. “I saved you because you’re a patient. My family has practiced medicine for generations. Saving people is our duty, and also a matter of fate.”

How could she regret it?

            

It didn’t matter if she knew nothing about Shi Jinlan, or if she gradually became aware of the past she couldn’t speak of to others.

Chi Qian just liked Shi Jinlan.

She could hear her own heartbeat clearly. That feeling of being smitten meant that even if countless people came to speak ill of Miss Shen, she wouldn’t want to turn back.

            

It wasn’t easy to fall for someone. The good and the bad—she had to taste it all for herself.

“Then we truly are fated,” Shi Jinlan said, picking up on the last word Chi Qian had used, her tone tinged with emotion.

Words were just that magical. A moment ago, Chi Qian had said the word “fate” so seriously, but from Shi Jinlan’s lips, it took on a different meaning.

            

Ambiguity coiled around the strokes of the winding characters, like roses in spring blooming furiously along a roadside fence.

Chi Qian forced herself to remain calm, but her heart was beating traitorously, as if she was about to break her composure​³ in the next second and could no longer maintain her serious demeanor.

Chi Qian pursed her lips and took the initiative to turn the page. “I… let’s continue with the questions.”

            

“Alright,” Shi Jinlan nodded.

The young woman in her sight lowered her head, her long hair brushing past the curve of her ear, revealing a crescent of crimson.

She had only seized on a turn of phrase, one that Chi Qian herself had brought up first. Why was she getting so embarrassed?

            

Interesting.

Shi Jinlan smiled. Her gloomy mood from the past few days had rarely seen such an improvement.

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With the support of a human-shaped cheat code​⁴ like Shi Jinlan, Chi Qian passed Chi Qingyan’s weekend spot-check with flying colors.

            

For a rare change, she wasn’t struck on the palm by Chi Qingyan. Even the lightest discipline ruler remained hanging on the wall, completely untouched.

Chi Qian took back the books and notebooks Chi Qingyan had finished inspecting, her happiness overflowing.

“You’re this happy just because you didn’t get hit?” Chi Qingyan tsked twice, looking at Chi Qian’s easily pleased expression.

            

“Of course.” Chi Qian had nothing to hide on this matter, nodding with exceptional sincerity.

Not only had she been spared physical suffering this time, but she had also experienced what it was like to be in “top student mode,” answering fluently and with unhurried confidence. The whole process was a novel thrill.

“Then you should thank Miss Shen,” Chi Qingyan reminded her directly.

            

Chi Qian looked up in surprise. “Grandfather, how did you know?”

“You’ve been following Miss Shen around these past few days, like her little shadow,”​⁵ Chi Qingyan exposed her without ceremony, a look of disdain on his face.

Then, he didn’t forget to remind his granddaughter, “Since she helped you out so much, you need to help her too.”

            

“Her melancholy is knotted in her heart, which is bad for her health. Take her out for a walk; it will also help her condition.”

Chi Qian was particularly sensitive to anything concerning “Miss Shen.” Hearing Chi Qingyan’s words, she immediately stood at attention and saluted. “Yes, Grandfather! I guarantee I’ll complete the mission!”

“You stinky girl.” Seeing Chi Qian’s antics, Chi Qingyan tapped her on the head with the book in his hand.

            

The tap made Chi Qian’s head ache. She had finally gotten hit during this spot-check after all.

With Chi Qingyan’s words as her mandate, Chi Qian enthusiastically pushed Shi Jinlan out the door after lunch.

She was adept at caring for patients, and she pushed Shi Jinlan’s wheelchair at a steady pace from the top of the slope down to the milk tea shop at the foot of the hill.

            

There was no place more suitable than a milk tea shop. You wouldn’t be exposed to the wind, yet you could still see the sea.

The large glass windows were wiped spotlessly clean by the owner. Chi Qian didn’t have to worry that a moment of carelessness would displease Miss Shen and make her want to go back.

Chi Qian was already surprised when Shi Jinlan had agreed to go out for a walk with her. She had thought Miss Shen disliked going outside.

            

But in truth, Shi Jinlan also wanted to look around and get a feel for the place.

She still needed to contact her maternal grandmother’s people later, so she had to get a clear understanding of the island’s terrain and culture first.

Xiao Yu Island was considered a tourist destination, and this milk tea shop was part of a famous domestic chain.

            

Therefore, its location had been well-researched. Situated between the residential area above and the commercial street below, it was a place with excellent foot traffic.

“Have a taste.” Just as Shi Jinlan was analyzing her surroundings, Chi Qian came over with the freshly made milk tea.

She introduced the drink she had ordered for Shi Jinlan, as enthusiastic as one of the shop’s employees. “This is the shop’s signature: milk tea with taro balls and osmanthus sweet fermented rice.​⁶ It’s especially delicious. You’ll definitely fall in love with it.”

            

To speak of love was too shallow.

And Shi Jinlan didn’t have much interest in food either.

The straw lightly stirred the richly filled milk tea. Beside it, Shi Jinlan watched with an intrigued expression.

            

She was like a silent cat, observing this thing that was a bit foreign to her. She found milk tea to be a strange thing indeed.

It was clearly a beverage, yet you could add practically anything to it.

Taro balls mixed with sweet fermented rice should probably be considered a post-meal dessert.

            

But the eyes of the person before her were far too bright, her anticipation written all over them.

With a sense of skepticism, Shi Jinlan took a sip under Chi Qian’s watchful gaze.

The cool milk tea wasn’t overly sweet, with a faint bitterness of green tea showing through.

            

The alcohol washed over next. The fermented grains of rice were distinct, and biting into them released a burst of fresh osmanthus fragrance.

It was rather interesting.

“How is it?” Shi Jinlan had been tasting it for a little while when those eyes, which had been fixed on her, squeezed in again.

            

Rather than anticipation, sharing seemed a more accurate description.

This person had placed something she thought was good in front of her, like a silly little puppy that couldn’t speak and could only wag its tail, full of expectation.

Because of this, Shi Jinlan couldn’t avoid it.

            

But on second thought, there was really nothing to avoid.

She rarely shared things with people, and there was no one around her who would share things with her.

She would just treat this as a different kind of experience.

            

With that in mind, Shi Jinlan unhurriedly put down the straw, as if she were tasting wine at a banquet in the past, and gave Chi Qian a nod. “Not bad. The osmanthus is fragrant, and it’s not excessively sweet. The textures of the taro balls and sweet fermented rice don’t clash either.”

Chi Qian hadn’t expected Shi Jinlan to say so much at once. Usually, they only ever exchanged the first two words of that assessment.

Although Chi Qian found Miss Shen’s method of critique a bit odd, she still looked proud, as if she shared in the honor, and chatted with her naturally. “I loved drinking this shop’s milk tea when I was in college. I’d often buy a large cup before going to the library. It was cheap and came in a big size.”

            

As she spoke, Chi Qian took a big slurp of the fruit tea in her hand. Following her own topic, she looked at Shi Jinlan naturally. “What about Miss Shen? What did Miss Shen like to drink when you were a student?”

And as the Chi Qian who had fallen into this memory, she couldn’t help but feel that her past self was quite articulate.

She was also very curious about the question she had just asked Shi Jinlan.

            

“Coffee.”

Very plainly, Shi Jinlan gave the person opposite her an answer.

An answer that was well within expectations.

            

Chi Qian was still marveling at how very Shi Jinlan that answer was when she heard herself ask again, “Does Miss Shen often need to stay up late?”

Shi Jinlan looked up. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I only drink coffee when I’m on a deadline. I have to pull an all-nighter, and I can’t get through it without coffee.” The memory of it still felt exhausting to Chi Qian, and a look of weary frustration appeared in her eyes.

            

Milk tea seemed to be a person’s conversation starter.​⁷ Chi Qian sipped her drink and lamented, “The stronger the coffee, the more bitter it is. But when I think about the medicine Grandfather brews, coffee starts to taste pretty good.”

At this point, Chi Qian turned to look at Shi Jinlan.

She wasn’t just one-sidedly telling Shi Jinlan her own stories. As she spoke, she made a connection to Shi Jinlan. “Has Miss Shen gotten so used to drinking coffee that you’ve become immune to Grandfather’s medicine too?”

            

This was the first time Shi Jinlan had heard someone put it that way.

Her family doctor would only ever praise her for her good endurance.

She lowered her eyes to look at Chi Qian’s innocent and imaginative expression, and she smiled. “Perhaps.”

            

The white straw was twirled between her fingertips, ambiguous in the light from the window.

Shi Jinlan gently bit into a taro ball and said thoughtfully, “When you’ve accepted it enough times, you stop feeling it.”

At that time, Chi Qian didn’t understand why Shi Jinlan would have such an expression when she said those words.

            

But the Chi Qian of now already knew that Shi Jinlan wasn’t just talking about drinking coffee.

Her life was like a cup of coffee that had been knocked over, its intense bitterness soaking into the soil of her being.

That place had been ravaged until not even a blade of grass could grow, yet she was still blamed for being unfeeling, cold, and cruel.

            

“But if you can avoid accepting it, it’s best not to learn how to.”

Then, Chi Qian heard the voice from her own mouth, speaking faintly to Shi Jinlan.

Both she and Shi Jinlan were surprised, but the Chi Qian of that time then looked up.

            

She looked at Shi Jinlan, a bright and resolute smile always on her face. “Being healthy is the best thing. Miss Shen shouldn’t learn to get used to things like this.”

“It’s because you know it’s bitter that you learn to avoid it, isn’t it?”

Time, grinding past her fingertips, seemed to slow down.

            

Shi Jinlan listened to Chi Qian’s words and was silent for a long while.

Before this, everyone had told Shi Jinlan that she should endure it, especially the grandfather who had single-handedly raised her.

But after coming to this island, Shi Jinlan discovered that there could be another way for a grandfather and granddaughter to interact.

            

And only Chi Qian was different.

She had saved her when she had no value, without asking for anything in return.

Now, she was telling her that she could avoid these things, that she had that right.

            

You don’t have to immerse yourself in pain to understand pain.

To respect it from a distance and cherish the present was also a way.

The principle was so simple that it left Shi Jinlan at a bit of a loss.

            

She looked up at the person sitting across from her. Sunlight drenched her hair, glinting with a golden shimmer, as if she were about to merge with the sun in the sky.

“Right.” As if by some supernatural compulsion, Shi Jinlan nodded.

Her thoughts were spreading, and so was her gaze…

            

And just at that moment, the look in Shi Jinlan’s eyes as she gazed out the window suddenly changed.

Among the people who had just passed by, she saw a familiar figure.

Chi Qian also noticed the sudden change in Shi Jinlan’s expression.

            

She followed her line of sight and saw a person she would never forget for the rest of her life.

A man dressed as a tourist was looking around everywhere as he walked toward Auntie Zhou’s Hot Spring Inn.

The man Shi Cheng had sent to find Shi Jinlan had arrived.

            

The plot in the book was also their real experience.

That was why, in the cycles that followed again and again, it was written by the System as destiny.

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The author has something to say:

            

Qianqian: I see a lot of aunties have misunderstood. This isn’t a new beginning, wah. I’ve fallen into my lost memories.

Lanlan: What Ah Qian is experiencing now is her first meeting with me, which is why it’s called “the beginning of the beginning.”

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