Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 57

Is That Person Pursuing You?

Throughout the first semester of their first year of high school, Anzhi and Xu Jia’er were locked in a state of competition. Anzhi slowly found her rhythm and her academic strengths. As the curriculum progressed, Xu Jia’er began to fall behind Anzhi in physics and chemistry, and the two of them practically took turns occupying the number one spot.

The other students in the Experimental Class had seen it so often they were numb to it.

            

Xu Jia’er still teased Anzhi frequently, asking for her WeChat. But Anzhi would only discuss schoolwork with her, refusing to give her the contact info.

At the Affiliated High School of the University of Science and Technology, students chose their academic track in the second semester of their first year. Anzhi never asked Xu Jia’er whether she would choose the arts stream or the science stream; she had a faint premonition. Sure enough, when the new semester began, she saw that familiar smiling face in the science stream’s Experimental Class. Anzhi let out a long, helpless sigh.

“Hi, Little Class Monitor. Looks like we’ll be classmates for the next two and a half years.”

            

Once they were sorted into the science stream’s Experimental Class, it felt like things had gotten serious. The Affiliated High School had always excelled in the sciences. There were fifteen science classes in total, four of which were Experimental Classes, and the competition was fierce. None of the students who entered the science stream dared to let their guard down.

Anzhi felt an unprecedented amount of pressure. It was obvious Xu Jia’er did too; her physics and chemistry scores weren’t very stable. During the first semester, the two of them had been so focused on competing with each other that they hadn’t had time to build friendships with other classmates. Now, at the start of the second semester, the classes had been reshuffled. Most of the faces in the room were unfamiliar; only Xu Jia’er was a familiar presence. Coincidentally, their homeroom teacher was still Teacher Pang.

Anzhi felt more or less resigned to her fate. The next time Xu Jia’er asked for her WeChat, her heart softened and she gave her the number.

            

On the first monthly exam, both of them dropped out of the top three in their grade level, one placing fourth and the other fifth. The two girls, both with too much pride, were dealt a blow. So when Xu Jia’er suggested they study together, Anzhi didn’t refuse. To be honest, Xu Jia’er was an excellent study partner. They were on the same level academically and understood each other’s weaknesses.

Both were day students and didn’t have to attend the school’s evening self-study sessions. They agreed to study together in the classroom for an hour every day after school, either working on problems, memorizing material, or organizing their notes together.

Yan Xi didn’t object to this, which wasn’t strange. What Anzhi found strange was that back in junior high, when Yan Xi learned she had a new friend, she had been very concerned about what kind of person that friend was. She had even become friends with Yang Mengmeng herself—in Yang Mengmeng’s words, it was a case of “loving the house and its crow.”​¹ But when it came to Xu Jia’er, Yan Xi never brought her up proactively. Sometimes, when she heard Anzhi mention her, Yan Xi would even frown inadvertently. It was barely noticeable, but Anzhi saw it every time.

            

The thought of Yang Mengmeng filled Anzhi with a deep sense of loss. Her hometown was too far from Beicheng, so it was impossible for her to visit during school holidays. And for some unknown reason, they contacted each other less and less, until long stretches of time passed without them speaking at all.

Anzhi wondered, Does being apart mean we’ll never meet again? Does growing up mean everything around me will change?

This filled Anzhi with a sense of panic. She could feel Yan Xi becoming more relaxed with her, no longer restricting which books she read, no longer setting limits on her phone time, no longer asking about her friends.

            

She felt a bewildering sense that she couldn’t figure out what Yan Xi was thinking. Maybe Yan Xi saw her as an adult now. But did being treated like an adult mean Yan Xi didn’t care about her anymore?

Anzhi didn’t know what to do. She even selfishly wished that everything could just stay frozen in this moment. She didn’t dare to think about anything else.

Sometimes, after studying with Xu Jia’er, if Yan Xi wasn’t off work yet, she would go to the TV station to find her. While Yan Xi was in the recording studio, Anzhi would sit at her desk, curiously observing her workspace—her little potted plant, her sticky notes. They were the Sumikko Gurashi​² sticky notes Anzhi had bought for her.

            

Anzhi smiled, her lips pressed together. She saw the pen Yan Xi often used. Though many people used computers for work now, Yan Xi had lamented a while back that she was forgetting how to write more and more characters. On her desk was a large sheet of white draft paper, covered with characters she had practiced writing at random. It was clear she had written them during breaks from work; there was no pattern to them. But there they were, one after another on the paper, some neat and proper, others slightly cursive.

A flood of memories washed over Anzhi. She couldn’t resist picking up a pen and writing the character “Xi” (蹊; xī).

“It means ‘a small path.’ Come, I’ll teach you how to write it.”

            

“Why is your name different from my uncles’ names?”

Back then, Yan Xi had smiled, winking playfully. “Because I was a surprise.”

Anzhi’s dimples appeared as she smiled at the memory.

            

She wrote the character “Tao”(陶; táo) next to the “Xi.”

Seeing the two characters side by side filled her with a secret joy.

Just then, a paper bag was placed on the desk. Anzhi looked up to see the man Yan Xi called “Director Liao.” Anzhi had run into him a few times. Sometimes he would even treat everyone to a meal, making a point to have Yan Xi bring her along.

            

“Anzhi, you’re here? Oh, want some? I can go buy another one for you.”

Anzhi glanced into the paper bag and smelled the sweet aroma of red bean bread, and saw a cup of black tea.

She scanned the surrounding area and saw that everyone else had one too. The knot in her stomach loosened slightly, and she shook her head.

            

Director Liao smiled. He had met Anzhi a few times and thought the child was a bit shy and quiet, so he didn’t press her.

As soon as he left, Anzhi stared at the food in the paper bag for a moment. Then, she took out the red bean bread and took a huge bite. Om nom.

Her cheeks puffed out. After a moment’s thought, she decided she might as well be in for a penny, in for a pound.​³ She twisted open the black tea and drank it down.

            

By the time Yan Xi returned, Anzhi had successfully finished everything and thrown the evidence in the trash, leaving no trace. As Yan Xi led her to the parking garage, Director Liao ran out again to speak with her.

It was just work-related stuff. Why couldn’t they have talked about it in the office?

After getting in the car, Anzhi held her breath. The man’s intentions were so obvious. But Yan Xi didn’t seem to dislike him.

            

Anzhi held that breath all the way home, feeling like she was puffing up like a pufferfish. Yan Xi didn’t seem to have noticed, and Anzhi felt like she was about to explode.

When they finally got home, she couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Is that person pursuing you?”

“Huh?” Yan Xi was a bit tired today, having recently been tasked with training a newcomer on top of her own recording schedule. The question caught her completely off guard. She tried to think of how to answer.

            

A while ago, she had subtly hinted to Liao Chengyu that she wasn’t interested in a relationship at the moment. Liao Chengyu seemed to have gotten the message. He stopped buying things just for her, instead getting a share for everyone on the team. He no longer sought her out to chat, intentionally or not, and their WeChat messages had become less frequent, limited to official business.

But… she had noticed more and more people around her singing his praises. Her colleagues even seemed to have tacitly agreed that she and Liao Chengyu were a good match, and they all wore encouraging expressions.

Yan Xi hadn’t figured out a solution yet. Now, with Anzhi’s question, she couldn’t come up with an answer on the spot.

            

But Anzhi’s gaze was locked on her face, sharp and intense, as if the answer was incredibly important to her.

“You don’t need to worry about this. Just focus on your studies. How have things been lately? Has studying with Xu Jia’er been effective?”

“It’s been okay, I guess,” Anzhi said with a pout, sensing that Yan Xi was changing the subject.

            

“Mm… Are you two friends now?” Yan Xi picked up her vacuum flask, poured a glass of water, and took a sip.

Anzhi thought for a moment. “I guess so.” Xu Jia’er had become much more serious lately. Honestly, she wasn’t hard to get along with, and it was hard not to like her. Although it didn’t feel as comfortable as it had with Yang Mengmeng, she was indeed the peer Anzhi spent the most time with now.

Yan Xi’s movements paused. Her back was to Anzhi, so Anzhi couldn’t see her expression.

            

At the first parent-teacher conference after the classes were reshuffled, Yan Xi had overheard a snippet of conversation among a few parents. “I heard there’s a kid in this class who’s gay? What was her name, Xu something?”

Another parent chimed in, “Right, my kid told me about her. Xu… Xu Jia’er. She’s super cool. I heard she came out​⁴ to everyone at the very first class meeting…”

“Sigh… What are kids thinking these days? Should we report this to the homeroom teacher?”

            

“Report what? For now, we should just pretend we don’t know. Sometimes, the more seriously you take it, the more they’ll act out, the more they’ll insist on being ‘unique’.”

“True. As long as their grades are good, that’s all that matters. We just need to keep an eye on our own kids.”

Yan Xi’s mind had been in turmoil. When she heard the news, she had been confused for a long time. She recalled the scene she had witnessed earlier, of the girl named Xu Jia’er with her arm around Anzhi. If she hadn’t been interrupted, would she have hugged Anzhi just a few seconds later?

            

She didn’t really have an opinion on whether someone liked girls or not. Frankly, it wasn’t a big deal. Radishes and cabbages, each to their own love,​⁵ that’s all. But she was wondering if Xu Jia’er liked Anzhi. Or perhaps she was overthinking it, and it was just kids fooling around?

Yan Xi turned around to face Anzhi.

Anzhi was about to press her question again when Yan Xi’s hands suddenly cupped her face. Her slender knuckles bent, stroking her cheek gently.

            

Anzhi’s mind went completely blank.

Yan Xi’s eyes were as dark as a deep pool, as if they could see right into the bottom of her heart. They were so focused, so bright, yet they held a profound meaning she couldn’t understand.

“You’re… so grown up now, you’re…” Yan Xi’s voice was low, the rest of her words left unspoken, hidden in her heart.

            

Without realizing it, she’s grown into a beautiful, lovely girl. Not only will boys like her, but maybe girls will too.

Anzhi’s heart was about to leap out of her chest. All her awareness was concentrated on Yan Xi’s fingers caressing her cheek; she couldn’t even hear what Yan Xi was saying. Her scalp tingled, and her ears slowly, slowly began to turn pink.

The light in Yan Xi’s eyes flickered. She drew her fingers back, took a small step away, and patted Anzhi’s head. After a moment of hesitation, she finally said, “Focus on your studies, you hear?”

            

Anzhi stared at her, dazed.

“You can think about other things when you’re a little older, okay?” In the end, Yan Xi didn’t say what was truly on her mind. It was so difficult for Anzhi to make friends. Caught in her own conflict, she told herself not to oppose Anzhi’s decision.

Anzhi needed friends her own age. That was something she couldn’t give her. She was a teenager now. She couldn’t manage her the way she did when she was a child; she should give her complete freedom.

            

If Anzhi felt she could get along with Xu Jia’er, that they could be friends, then she should support her decision.

Yan Xi repeated these words to herself over and over, a wave of exhaustion washing over her.

“Alright, I’m going to my room now.” Yan Xi pressed her forehead and walked back to her room.

            

Anzhi watched her go, then looked down in frustration. She still hadn’t managed to ask her question. But even if she had, what then? It was Yan Xi’s freedom, after all.

She unconsciously clutched the front of her shirt, feeling a painful tightness.

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