Peaches and Plums Don’t Speak – Chapter 44
by Little PandaLiu Yiyi squeaked with laughter as she read the long Weibo post. She forwarded it: “That’s right, we white, rich, and beautiful girls are busy being outstanding all on our own. We really don’t have time to deal with drama queen little white lotuses!2 Who has the patience to make things difficult for you? Come on, I, Liu Yiyi, am saying this out in the open. If you’ve got a problem with it, come at me.”
She laughed, then forwarded it again: “You have all this time to go online and secretly ‘like’ posts, being all passive-aggressive. If you have this much free time, why don’t you go memorize a few lines of poetry? You’re a host for Beishi TV, after all!”
She added one more: “We all know what you’re doing with all these weird stunts. You just want to get famous! I’ll give you four words—such an ugly eating posture!3”
Liu Yiyi was an editor at Harper’s Bazaar with several million followers. Her Weibo was usually filled with posts of magazine covers or layouts, or her own outfits and makeup. She rarely expressed personal opinions, so posting three in a row was unprecedented. Her fans followed the trail and figured out the whole story.
A wave of “Hahahahaha”s flooded the retweets. “Face-slapping + doge face” “Ugly eating posture!”
Meanwhile, the group that had been making sour-grapes comments and badmouthing Yan Xi fell silent. In truth, many of them just didn’t have their own opinions and were only looking for a sense of validation.
Even Lin Wei didn’t post anything on Weibo.
With how things had developed, it was obvious that this toxic lily ship was no longer sailable. Most of the girls in the actual Ji circle had gone back to licking their own wall-heads,4 or they simply started stanning Yan Xi alone.
Liu Yiyi mulled it over for a moment, then simply instructed her subordinates to compile a long Weibo post with several images showcasing the clothes, shoes, accessories, and even lipstick shades that Yan Xi had worn on the show so far. At the same time, they pushed it to their WeChat Official Account. It would serve as free publicity for all those brands.
This attracted retweets from nearly every girl on Weibo who was into makeup or fashion, and even the official verified accounts of the brands liked and shared it.
A crowd of straight women and gay men, who didn’t know the whole story, were simply captivated by her beauty. They all started fawning over her looks and accepting the “Amway.”5
“That lipstick, that shade is gorgeous!”
“How tall is she? Her legs are so long. If I wore that dress, it would probably drag on the floor.”
“Quietly opening Taobao….”
“Just came back from binge-watching the show. I’ve been converted into a fan 23333.6 I suddenly discovered I might be a little bent 233333. Yan-xiaojiejie, please marry me!”
“+1”
“+1”
“+10086,7 I don’t even dare call myself universe straight8 anymore…”
After a busy spell, Liu Yiyi looked back at the retweet count and grinned. She called Anzhi. “Alright, it’s fine now. Xiao Anzhi, don’t worry anymore…”
Anzhi asked cautiously on the other end, “Really? No one will say bad things about Auntie anymore? What about that woman?”
Liu Yiyi said, “She dares? Xiao Anzhi, let me teach you something. For people who are so conceited about their own looks, what’s the most painful thing? It’s when everyone ignores them and pays attention to the person next to them instead. That’s more agonizing than killing them… You don’t need to worry. Have a little faith in Xiao Wu. She’s not that fragile.”
“…Okay.”
“So, your Auntie Liu helped your Auntie out in such a big way. How are you going to thank me on her behalf?”
Anzhi was silent for a few seconds before saying, “The day after tomorrow, I’m going to the Beicheng University of Science and Technology to see Second Uncle, because I want to apply to their affiliated high school. Second Uncle is going to show me around the school. Auntie Liu, do you want to come?”
Liu Yiyi sat up straight. “Sure! Yes, yes, yes, I’ll come pick you up the morning after tomorrow!!!”
“Okay… Come to Great-grandfather’s place first. Uncle Wang will drive us there. After touring the school, we’ll eat at the school cafeteria. We can eat together. After lunch, I’ll go hang out with my classmates, and Second Uncle will take you home…”
Liu Yiyi was hit in the face by this big pancake falling from the sky9 and was so happy she didn’t know what to do. “Okay, okay, okay! Oh my, perfect!”
“Oh my, Xiao Anzhi, you’re so cute. Now I know why your Auntie loves you so much…”
Anzhi went quiet for a few more seconds on the other end. After a long pause, she whispered, “No, I’m not….”
Liu Yiyi knew she must be blushing and laughed. “Then it’s a deal. We’ll be in touch on WeChat.”
“Okay! Thank you for what you did just now…” Anzhi’s tone turned a little mischievous. “Thank you, Second… Aunt-in-law.”
“Pfft!…” Liu Yiyi, who was drinking water, sprayed a mouthful all over her computer screen.
While Liu Yiyi was still basking in her delight, she received a call from Yan Xi. “Why is everyone calling me xiaojiejie?”
Liu Yiyi burst out laughing. “What do you think xiaojiejie means?”
Yan Xi said, “Is this term the opposite of ‘big sister’? I even Baidu’d it…”
Liu Yiyi said, “Hahahaha! It means you’re gentle and cute! See, you have so many people asking to marry you, and they’re all young girls! Xiao Wu! Your amorous fortune is not shallow!10”
Yan Xi said, “…Am I getting old? I don’t even understand how kids these days think anymore…”
Liu Yiyi gave a sly laugh. “I know you’re straight, but you have to admit, you really do seem very Ji on the show… I read that long Weibo post, and I also think your gaze is very captivating, especially when you look at other girls…”
Yan Xi: “…”
She sighed softly in resignation and decided to change the subject. “Alright, I won’t keep you. Anyway, thank you.”
“Mhm, mhm, mhm!”
A mischievous thought suddenly struck Yan Xi. “Then I’m hanging up, Second Sister-in-law!”
Liu Yiyi: “…Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough!”
She nearly choked to death on her own saliva. Tossing her phone aside, she clutched her chest. That big one and that little one, they were exactly the same!
That evening, Anzhi was doing her homework in the third-floor living room of the old residence. Yang Mengmeng had finally gotten her parents’ permission to come over and keep her company.
“This is great! This is great! Yan-jiejie’s name has finally been cleared! Hmph! That woman is so annoying!” Yang Mengmeng cheered, hugging Anzhi.
The two had already been scrolling through Weibo for half the day.
“I heard that besides the qipao from the first episode, which was sponsored, all the other outfits are Yan-xiaojiejie’s personal clothes.11 I looked them up. The cheapest item is probably that bangle, over eight hundred yuan!”
“Is it that bangle with the bracelet embedded in it? I like that one too! It’s so pretty. It feels like she really likes it herself; she’s paired it with so many outfits!”
“To the person above! I had my eye on that one too, but with the width of my wrist, hehehehe, the bangle would probably snap if I put it on…”
Anzhi’s dimples appeared as she smiled silently.
“Screenshotting this. Even her nail polish color is pretty. It always matches her lipstick.”
“Ahem, I must be a straight guy because I don’t get nail polish colors, but if the Cool Older Sister Yan is wearing nail polish, that probably means she’s not from the Ji circle, if you know what I mean! (Doge face)!”
“Don’t get it.”
“Don’t get it +1.”
“Hehehehe, that’s not necessarily true. Maybe she’s a shou.12 (Husky face)”
Anzhi looked at Yang Mengmeng, confused. “What do these comments mean? Is there something wrong with wearing nail polish?”
Unlike the completely clueless Anzhi, Yang Mengmeng was a veteran “rotten girl”13 who occasionally watched lily anime, so of course she knew what it meant. She knew, but it was hard to explain.
“Uh… well…” she stammered awkwardly.
“Hm?” Anzhi blinked her big eyes.
Yang Mengmeng said, “…You know what a shou is, right? I’ve told you before. This is basically the same thing…”
Anzhi’s face instantly started to burn. She knew what “shou” meant in the “rotten girl” circle, but she hadn’t immediately connected it to Yan Xi. Now that she did, even though she didn’t understand the specifics, it was enough to make her heart pound and her cheeks flush.
After a moment, she asked, “Then… what does that have to do… with wearing nail polish…”
Yang Mengmeng tried very hard to explain, but she just couldn’t get the words out. Then she suddenly remembered. “Didn’t you ask me before where you could read lily stories? You can find them on Jinjiang. Did you not go look?”
“No, I couldn’t get into it,” Anzhi said, shaking her head.
Yang Mengmeng said, “Ahem, uh… well, for girls and girls, it’s actually different from guys and guys… It’s just… Aiya! I don’t know either! Why are you so curious!” Unable to continue, Yang Mengmeng gave up.
Anzhi’s face grew even redder with embarrassment.
Yang Mengmeng suddenly shuddered. She pointed at Anzhi, her jaw dropping as she stammered, “Don’t tell me… y-y-y-you…”
Anzhi was so mortified she was on the verge of tears. “I, I-I-I… didn’t….”
The two stared at each other, tense and awkward, neither daring to speak first.
“Children…” a voice suddenly called out.
“Ah!” The two of them shrieked in shock.
Auntie Xin was startled by their sudden screams and nearly dropped the tray in her hands.
“What are you two doing?”
They shook their heads in terror.
“Time for some beef noodle soup.”
The two ate their noodles in dead silence, barely making a sound. It was clear how cautious they were being, still staring at each other with wide eyes.
“Cough…” Anzhi suddenly choked.
Just as Yang Mengmeng was about to laugh at her, she also let out a “cough” and choked.
They looked at each other while coughing, then broke into laughter at the same time.
“Are we sleeping together tonight?” Yang Mengmeng was a big-hearted kid and had already forgotten what happened earlier after finishing her noodles.
“I’ve already had a room prepared for you.”
“I thought we were going to sleep together.”
“…Yeah, I’m not used to sleeping with other people…..” Anzhi lowered her head.
She checked her phone and saw a WeChat message from Yan Xi: “Are you studying? Or playing on your phone?”
“Playing on my phone + studying,” Anzhi replied, the corners of her lips turning up.
“Study hard, or I’ll confiscate your phone.” Yan Xi’s reply came quickly.
Anzhi’s dimples deepened as she smiled, her finger hovering over the screen. She typed out the character for “miss,” then immediately deleted it. She typed and deleted, unable to send a single word. Another message from Yan Xi arrived first: “Study hard. Second Uncle said you want to test into the affiliated high school of the University of Science and Technology, so you can’t slack off. I’ll be home after I finish my wrap-up meetings in a couple of days.”
So she knew, too. Anzhi clutched her phone, her heart feeling warm. She unconsciously bit her lip, still unsure of what to reply, and set the phone down for now.
When she looked up, she found her classmate Yang Mengmeng looking at her with a hesitant expression.
Footnotes
- The character 姬 (jī), meaning beauty or concubine, is used as a pun for 基 (jī), meaning gay. It’s internet slang for the wlw (women who love women) community or content.
- A “little white lotus” (小白莲花) is a trope for a woman who feigns innocence and purity to seem pitiful and manipulate others. It’s a more intense version of the “little white flower” trope.
- An idiom meaning someone’s methods are crude, shameless, or greedy.
- Fandom slang. A “wall-head” (墙头) refers to one’s current favorite celebrity or character (implying it can change easily), and “licking” (舔) means to adore. The phrase means to go back to fangirling over their own faves.
- Named after the brand Amway, this is slang for passionately recommending something to others, like a multi-level marketing scheme.
- Internet slang for laughing, derived from an old forum’s emoji code (No. 233) which depicted a character laughing and banging the floor. The more 3s, the more intense the laughter.
- 10086 is the customer service number for China Mobile, one of China’s largest telecom providers. Using it after “+1” is a humorous way to show strong agreement.
- Internet slang for someone who is so heterosexual that it’s on a cosmic scale; unshakably straight.
- An idiom for an unexpected stroke of good luck.
- An idiom meaning to be very lucky with women.
- Also known as “sifuku” in Japanese contexts, this refers to a celebrity’s personal wardrobe, as opposed to outfits provided by sponsors or stylists.
- The term “shou” (lit. receiver) is the Chinese equivalent of the Japanese “uke”, denoting the “bottom” or passive partner in a BL pairing.
- The term “funü” (rotten girl) is the Chinese equivalent of the Japanese term “fujoshi”, referring to female fans of Boys’ Love (BL).
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