Morning Longing for Warmth – Chapter 49
by Little PandaHoneymoon
Tonight, I want you to take me.
Shiyi woke in the night to find someone lying beside her. Her brows furrowed slightly, thinking she hadn’t fully awakened, and whispered: “Huihui?”
The person beside her kept their eyes closed. Wei Hui had shown marked improvement in sleep quality over the past half year under Shiyi’s care. Seeing her still asleep, Shiyi couldn’t bear to wake her. Instead, she embraced her, burying her head against Wei Hui’s chest, expertly listening to her heartbeat for several minutes. The “thump-thump-thump” seemed to connect directly to her eardrums, each subtle vibration moving her nearly to tears.
She didn’t cry though. After spending so much time with Wei Hui, she had learned to better control her emotions. Shiyi lay on her side, head propped up by her hand, watching Wei Hui. Her complexion was healthy, no longer showing its former pallor. Her eyelashes were long and curled, casting small shadows beneath her eyes. The warm-toned lighting in the room remained on, bathing Wei Hui’s face and making her presence appear increasingly gentle.
She loved Wei Hui like this.
A Wei Hui who belonged to her alone.
Shiyi lowered her head to kiss Wei Hui’s forehead. Just as her lips curved into a smile, she heard a voice near her ear: “Awake?”
Wei Hui’s just-awakened voice was slightly hoarse and low. As she slowly opened her eyes, the harsh light caused her discomfort. Shiyi noticed and used half her body to block the light, waiting until Wei Hui’s eyes adjusted before asking: “Why did you come back? Weren’t you supposed to return tomorrow?”
“You had a fever; how could I not come back?” Wei Hui’s eyes showed faint red vessels. Under Shiyi’s care, she hadn’t experienced insomnia symptoms for a long time, but tonight she couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning. She had just finally fallen asleep when Shiyi woke up.
Shiyi looked at her exhausted state and apologetically asked: “Did I wake you?”
Wei Hui pushed herself up from the bed, half-sitting and leaning against the headboard, shaking her head: “No, I just haven’t slept well tonight.”
Shiyi immediately asked: “Did you not drink your milk?”
Wei Hui smiled at her worried expression: “I did.”
Just as Shiyi was about to start nagging, Wei Hui cut her off: “Who’s the patient here, you or me?”
A moment of silence filled the room. Shiyi leaned against Wei Hui, softly saying: “We’re both patients.”
Wei Hui had a physical illness, while she had a heart-sickness.
They were both patients.
Wei Hui remained quiet for a moment. She wrapped her arms around Shiyi, holding her close. Shiyi’s head rested on her shoulder, long hair cascading down to tickle Wei Hui’s chin. Wei Hui spoke softly: “You found out about the surgery, didn’t you?”
Shiyi’s body noticeably tensed, then relaxed after a moment. She answered honestly: “Mm, I saw it before. Why won’t you do it?”
Wei Hui smiled: “Can’t bear to.”
Since they’d been together, Wei Hui had become increasingly generous with her smiles, especially when seeing Shiyi. She couldn’t help but curve her eyes in happiness; just seeing her would inexplicably lift her mood, making her want to smile – an emotion that welled up from deep within, impossible to suppress.
The room was quiet as Wei Hui continued: “Can’t bear to leave you, can’t bear to lose ten years. Shiyi, a four percent chance is considered a miracle. I feel I’ve used up all my luck just meeting you. I dare not gamble. Not having the surgery – this has nothing to do with you. Don’t blame yourself, and don’t take it to heart.”
She rarely explained herself to others, seldom spoke so many words at once, but with Shiyi, it seemed no amount of words was enough. Wei Hui never imagined she would become the type of person who, in her own eyes, would ramble on so.
How the tables have turned.
Shiyi became less talkative, while she became more verbose.
“Don’t you regret it?” Shiyi looked up at Wei Hui, staring at her slightly pointed chin. “Even four percent is a chance. You might recover completely. But ten years… only ten years.”
“That’s enough.” Wei Hui lowered her eyes to meet Shiyi’s clear gaze: “I think being able to accompany you for ten years is already wonderful.”
Shiyi shook her head against Wei Hui’s chest, arms wrapped around her waist, voice muffled: “It’s not good, not good at all. You said I could be greedy, you promised I could be greedy.”
“Let’s do the surgery, please?”
“I’m begging you.”
“I want you to be well, I need you to be well. We can still go to many places, we can try different things. Huihui, I can’t bear to lose you, I can’t bear it!”
Shiyi broke down sobbing at the end!
For the past half year, she had maintained strict control in front of Wei Hui, not showing even a hint of distress when she first saw the surgery notice. But tonight, perhaps due to physical weakness from her recent illness, or emotional vulnerability, or because Wei Hui’s mention of surgery finally broke her restraint, or perhaps her inner fears had reached their limit – she began to act out, become unreasonable, and release her emotions.
Wei Hui’s heart ached listening to her cries. She didn’t speak or offer comfort, just held her, resting her head atop Shiyi’s, hands on her shoulders. Feeling Shiyi’s slight trembling, she painfully massaged her shoulders with her palms.
The sound of crying continued in the room for a long time. Shiyi seemed determined to shed all the tears she’d held back for half a year, speaking between sobs: “I want you to have the surgery.”
But she couldn’t bear it either.
Without surgery, Wei Hui only had ten years – this was even more unbearable. Faced with this life-and-death choice, she truly didn’t want to choose either option. Shiyi bit her lip hard in distress, tasting rust between her teeth, the metallic smell pungent. She swallowed it down along with her heartache and bitterness!
“Shiyi.” Wei Hui waited until she had released enough emotion before softly asking: “What did you promise me when we first got together?”
“You said being with me, even for a day, would be enough.”
“Now we have ten years – isn’t that better?”
Like hell it was.
For the first time, Shiyi wanted to curse. She remained silent for a moment before asking quietly: “You really won’t have the surgery?”
Wei Hui shook her head firmly. On this matter, whether it was Shiyi or Su Ziyan, she wouldn’t change her decision. It wasn’t just about wanting to accompany Shiyi for ten years; more importantly, Shiyi wasn’t yet capable of standing on her own. She had never been one to believe in miracles, nor did she think she would create one, so the most secure option was to forgo surgery.
She needed to watch Shiyi grow up before she could be at peace.
Shiyi couldn’t persuade her. Although Wei Hui usually yielded to her wishes, on certain matters, she had her own principles that wouldn’t easily change.
The two stayed nestled together, silent for a while, until Wei Hui, knowing Shiyi’s distress, took the initiative to say: “About Weiss, you could delay going for a month.”
Shiyi nestled in her embrace, thought for a moment and shook her head: “No need, I’ll go in July.”
Wei Hui lowered her head in surprise: “Didn’t you want to take it slow?”
Shiyi consciously changed the previous topic: “The sooner I leave, the sooner I’ll return.”
Wei Hui met those reddened eyes, couldn’t help but lean forward to kiss her. Warm tears still lingered at her eyelids as she said softly: “Yes, come back soon.”
They stayed in bed, caressing until dawn. Wei Hui took a week’s leave to accompany Shiyi. Early summer had arrived with its heat, leaving them few places to go. They ended up following Du Yueming to a summer resort for several days. Du Yueming, thinking this was a pre-separation honeymoon for the couple, prepared full service accommodations, even converting their room into a romantic suite. Shiyi got a headache just looking at the bedside drawer stuffed with intimate items.
After being disciplined by the family elder, Du Yueming had become more proper, agreeing to pursue further studies with Shiyi. As for the results, nothing was guaranteed. The Du family didn’t expect her to suddenly become a competent director, just hoping she wouldn’t be easily deceived in the future.
The resort backed onto mountains with a lake nearby. During cool daytime hours, Shiyi would take Wei Hui mountain climbing, and in the evenings, they’d stroll by the lake like any normal couple enjoying love’s beauty. The “third wheel” Du Yueming stopped following them after the second day, claiming she was “tired of eating dog food” [εθ©η糧 | chΔ« nΓ¬ gΗu liΓ‘ng | idiom for being tired of seeing couples’ public displays of affection].
On their final night at the resort, heavy rain fell. Unable to take Wei Hui to the lake, Shiyi sat in their room, listening to the pattering rain, feeling dazed. Tomorrow she’d leave for abroad, uncertain when she’d return. Weiss had a fully closed education system. She wasn’t afraid of hardship or exhaustion, only of Wei Hui falling ill without her knowledge, suffering where she couldn’t see. The mere thought felt like an awl piercing her heart!
Shiyi took a deep breath and heard movement behind her. She turned to see Wei Hui in a thin nightgown, her figure tall and shapely. Due to her illness, Shiyi always saw Wei Hui as delicate. Now wearing only a thin orange nightgown, her fragrance wafting over, Shiyi squeezed her hands and said softly: “Done washing? I’ll go in.”
Wei Hui nodded.
She watched Shiyi’s figure enter the bathroom. Over the past half year, Shiyi had deliberately restrained herself. During New Year’s, she used to always cling for hugs and kisses, even initiating caresses. But after that illness episode, she became much more careful – keeping kisses and embraces brief. Fearing another attack, she approached everything with extreme caution, never kissing too deeply. Even though Su Ziyan said her body could handle moderate intimacy, Shiyi maintained strict boundaries, refusing to cross that line.
Wei Hui sat on the bed’s edge, looking down at the drawer’s contents, selecting items. She glanced toward the bathroom, listening to the mingled sounds of running water and the storm outside, her heartbeat inexplicably quickening.
Shiyi walked barefoot from the bathroom, standing on the absorbent mat. The blanket on the bed was raised, someone lying beneath. Shiyi asked puzzled: “You’re sleeping?”
Wei Hui’s low voice replied: “Mm, you should rest early too if you have nothing else to do.”
Indeed there was nothing to do with such heavy rain outside. Shiyi undid her bathrobe, wearing her nightclothes as she sat on the bed’s edge: “Shall I turn off the lights then?”
“Yes.”
After Shiyi switched off the lights, the room fell pitch black. She habitually lifted the covers to slip in, but froze upon touching smooth skin. Then hands took hers, placing them on a chest. Shiyi’s entire body stiffened. Biting her lip, voice trembling, she asked: “Huihui, you… you’re not wearing clothes?”
Wei Hui’s voice remained calm, unchanged from before. Holding Shiyi’s hands against her body, she responded: “Mm, I’m not. Because tonight, I want you to take me.”
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