Little Alpaca – Chapter 1

Volume 1: Little Alpaca

Trashy Piece of Sh#t. Whoever Reads This is a F#cking Idiot.

“Luo Mingyuan​¹…”

“I curse you, to fall into the demonic path​², never to rise again.”

            

“I curse you, to possess so much, yet never find peace in your heart.”

“I curse you, that after my passing, you will have no one left to trust, and no one left to love…”

“Luo Mingyuan…”

            

“You must… live on well…”

“I am willing to abandon eternal reincarnation​³, to become a vengeful spirit​⁴, to watch from between Heaven and Earth as you suffer, lonely and helpless, for thousands and tens of thousands of years!”

The deeper the love, the heavier the hatred.

            

Jiang Yuyao​⁵ would never forgive Luo Mingyuan. Having lost everything, she would rather give up eternal reincarnation than not take revenge on the man she had given everything to and loved for half her life.

Because, in the face of hatred, everything else was not worth mentioning.

If she could carve her name into his three hun and seven po​⁶, so that its very touch felt like ten thousand insects devouring his heart, what did it matter if she destroyed her immortal fate​⁷ and immortal roots​⁸, or forsook eternal reincarnation?

            

Between her and Luo Mingyuan, there was no forgiveness.

Only a struggle that would not cease until death.

“Chao Yun​⁹, Yuyao was right… I don’t deserve anything, and I have indeed lost everything.”

            

“Since she passed, I truly have no one left to trust, and no one left to love… Every second I remain in this world, I cannot find peace.”

“Now, these three hun and seven po have been scattered for her…”

“I do not ask for forgiveness. I only wish to ask you to relay a question to her. Is this price enough in exchange for her… letting herself go?”

            

The ice-cold rain tried to moisten this land eroded by venom, but it was a step too late for the blood.

Blood and rain mingled in the mud. The crimson giant bird with a severed foot lost its remaining warmth, bit by bit.

Its enormous body had been rotted by potent poison, and the wounds, oozing black blood, emitted waves of foul stench, a sin and hatred that it seemed even the heavy rain could not cleanse.

            

It was too tired, so tired it could no longer move an inch, yet even upon its complete death, it could not close its eyes.

“The Golden Crow​¹⁰ is dead, and there is no longer a Fusang​¹¹ in the world.”

The fallen god who had turned her back on the Heavenly Realm​¹² stood silently by its side, her divine robes a dusky yellow, her cuffs stained.

            

Her eyes were hollow, as if she had lost all faith.

“Who else is there for Goumang​¹³… to protect?”

As her voice fell, she raised her eyes, gazing at the giant Chinyuan bird​¹⁴ with sharp stingers on its tail and magnificent wings, shaped like a venomous bee.

            

This was perhaps the most beautiful of the Chinyuan clan.

The more dangerous it was, the more it made one unable to look away.

For a fleeting moment, she truly wanted to cast everything aside and perish together with it.

            

But the trace of pity that flashed in the Chinyuan’s eyes shattered her displaced heart and courage, routing them completely.

Resentment and pain were ultimately replaced by utter bewilderment.

Upon that face of indescribable beauty, something slid heavily from the corner of her eye, yet it was impossible to tell if it was a tear or a raindrop.

            

“You Yan​¹⁵… three thousand years ago, I never should have saved you…”

The giant Chinyuan bird turned and left, leaving only a gloomy, low chuckle tinged with ridicule, which lingered in her heart like smoke and mist, not ceasing for a long, long time.

(End of Novel)

            

End of Novel? End of my ass!

“This trash author and trash novel are so f#cking ridiculous. So many plot holes left unfilled, and a crap ending*​¹⁶ *delivered with such righteous conviction!”

At this very moment, the girl sitting on her bed hugging her phone, cursing and muttering through gritted teeth, was named Yi Qiu​¹⁷.

            

As a low-paid office clerk working nine-to-five, her life was just messing around day after day. Her hobbies were extremely barren; besides novels and music, there was nothing else.

Three months ago, she had fallen into the pit​¹⁸ of a transformative masterpiece by the well-known sweet-fic​¹⁹ author “Xiao Niao Gugu Fei​²⁰” from Green River​²¹—《Thin, Withered Branch》.

The author claimed it was her first attempt at an original world-view, that she had consulted countless sources and done ample preparation, all to write a grand-scale novel with dramatic twists and turns that would deeply resonate with people.

            

For a time, many old readers jumped into the pit one after another, and new readers flocked in, drawn by her reputation.

But as many continued to read, they realized something was off.

Isn’t this just an old-school, melodramatic​²² angst-fest masquerading as a grand-scale epic?

            

In response, the author had once confronted the readers who questioned her.

She had said: “NONONO, you can’t just look at the surface. I’ve buried so many foreshadowing clues, all for the big plot explosion later on.”

“To those who say it’s angst for angst’s sake, have you even understood the characters?”

            

“The characters just have these personalities; in this kind of situation, they would only react this way. Any other choice would break character/OOC​²³.”

“As for the plot being unreasonable, all the unreasonable points you’re pointing out now will be explained later. I really have a plan for how the ending will tie everything together, I just can’t spoil it. If you really can’t stand it, don’t force yourself.”

Because of that statement, because the author’s early writing was so good, and because of the foreshadowing clues that readers had unearthed with a fine-toothed comb—clues that seemed like nothing at first glance but were mysteriously and deeply unsettling the more you thought about them—Yi Qiu gritted her teeth and ate sh#t​²⁴ all the way through, only to be choked nearly to suffocation when she saw the abrupt ending.

            

In the novel, the male lead is the Son of the Heavenly Emperor​²⁵, a Three-Legged Golden Crow who had resided on the divine Fusang tree for over four thousand years. Due to his mischievous nature, he created ten suns in the sky, nearly turning the mortal realm into scorched earth.

The archer Hou Yi shot down nine of the suns, then charged to the base of Fusang with his bow, severed one of the Golden Crow’s feet, and was about to execute him when he was stopped by the Heavenly Emperor.

To give the mortal realm an explanation, the Heavenly Emperor banished him to the mortal world to undergo a tribulation​²⁶, limited to ten lifetimes. He promised that during the Golden Crow’s tribulation, the Heavenly Realm would not interfere in the slightest, and if he failed to achieve enlightenment in all ten lifetimes, he would no longer protect this rebellious son.

            

The lives of mortals are short. The Golden Crow’s nine lifetimes passed by in a flash, all without achieving enlightenment. In the blink of an eye​²⁷, it was over.

The tenth lifetime was his last chance. To help the Golden Crow return, Fusang willingly joined him in a shared lifetime of reincarnation. The entire story begins from this final life.

Arriving in the mortal realm, Fusang was reborn into the Xianlu Sect​²⁸, the foremost of the four great sects in the cultivation world​²⁹, becoming the only daughter of the Sect Master Jiang Jue​³⁰—Jiang Yuyao.

            

Jiang Yuyao possessed exceptional talent, stunning beauty, and a proud, cold demeanor. Men who saw her admired her, women who saw her envied her; she was truly a high-mountain flower beyond reach​³¹ in the Xianlu Sect.

Such a female lead, under the arrangement of fate, met the half-demon​³² Luo Mingyuan—the male lead of this novel, son of the Heavenly Emperor, the Three-Legged Golden Crow—who had been taken into the Xianlu Sect by her father out of a moment of pity.

Luo Mingyuan was abandoned by his parents at birth and lived with the adoptive parents who found him. However, he had a special constitution that easily attracted sinister and evil things. His adoptive parents, who treated him as their own, sought out immortals and Daoists everywhere, sparing no effort so he could grow up safely, and finally sent him to the Xianlu Sect.

            

He was very young, with no evil intentions in his heart. Unfortunately, his half-demon body placed many restrictions on his cultivation of immortal arts. In the eyes of others, he was a good-for-nothing and was often subjected to ridicule and exclusion from his peers. He gradually developed an inferiority complex, and only his Senior Sister, who knew his origins, took great care of him.

During a training excursion down the mountain, the male lead’s adoptive parents were implanted with demonic seeds by the villain. The female lead was forced to kill them with her own hands, only to be seen by the male lead at that very moment.

Worried that the male lead would throw his life away in a reckless quest for revenge, the female lead chose not to explain. With icy words, she made him misunderstand her, thus shouldering the crime of “slaughtering the innocent” and being expelled from the sect by her father.

            

The male lead wanted revenge and hunted the female lead. The female lead, knowing the dangers outside and unable to persuade him to return to the Xianlu Sect, could only use aggressive provocation to keep him by her side and protect him herself.

Then came a cycle of him running into danger, her protecting him; him getting injured, her taking care of him. Over time, the male lead realized he had fallen in love, and struggled painfully between hatred and his feelings.

At this point, the villainous demoness, who had come to the mortal realm pretending to be a little white lotus​³³, appeared. With her green tea-like​³⁴ behavior, she seduced and tricked the male lead into cultivating sinister arts, using demonic energy to influence his mind while frantically sowing discord.

            

Just like that, the male lead’s misunderstanding of the female lead deepened. Under the entanglement of love and hate, he gradually walked down the path of villainous transformation that the female villain had prepared for him.

The female lead couldn’t bear to see the male lead go astray. To pull him back to the righteous path​³⁵, she decided to explain the initial misunderstanding. But the male lead had already been brainwashed and corrupted by the villain. Resentful of heaven and earth, he refused to listen to or believe her words, even pretending to be with the villain to provoke the female lead.

Later on, the Xianlu Sect was annihilated because of the male lead, and everyone the female lead cared about died tragically one after another.

            

After an extremely long stretch of illogical, angst-for-angst’s-sake plot, the female lead lost everything, her body was crippled, and her cultivation was destroyed. At her moment of utter despair, the many misunderstandings were finally cleared up through the words of others.

All at once, the male lead began the “chasing the wife to the crematorium”​³⁶ arc, while the female lead would rather die than forgive him.

The part the readers had been anticipating most had finally arrived!

            

But who would have thought, just a few chapters into the “chasing-wife-to-the-crematorium” arc, the author directly killed off the female lead.

Even at this point, the masochists​³⁷ in the comments section still firmly believed the female lead could be revived, and the author was just doing this to better torture the male lead.

Then, something even more unexpected happened.

            

The female lead was truly dead. After death, she did not return to her immortal station but instead gave up reincarnation to become an earthbound spirit​³⁸ with an obsession that could not be dispelled. Bearing her curse against the male lead, she relived the scenes of his betrayal and harm day after day, using self-torture to torment him.

The male lead was filled with endless remorse. His original heart gave way, and his demonic heart broke through the reincarnation seal, causing him to remember the days and nights he had spent with Fusang by the azure sea. Unable to bear the pain, he went on a murderous rampage to appease his grief.

Following that, the author began using an extensive flashback montage​³⁹ to depict the male lead’s remorse and deep love, forcefully having him drag the second female lead into the demonic path along with him. He then turned against the Heavenly Emperor, seeking supreme power to save the female lead in an attempt to whitewash​⁴⁰ the scumbag.

            

Seeing this, the Heavenly Emperor no longer cared for their blood ties and ruthlessly ordered his capture and execution.

The male lead, a being of both god and demon, fought the Heavenly Realm for three hundred rounds. Just as both sides were severely weakened, the villain who had been stirring up trouble all along appeared and reaped the benefits while others fought​⁴¹.

The villain threw the Three Realms​⁴² into chaos, revived the Demon Race​⁴³, and even got the Heavenly Emperor’s son killed, instantly becoming the biggest winner of the entire novel. In a flash, all the efforts of the main and supporting characters were all for naught​⁴⁴, making the foreshadowing clues that dedicated readers had discussed over and over again into a complete and utter joke.

            

In her rage, Yi Qiu practically flew into a fury in front of her phone, frantically tapping the screen to type out a negative review.

Can you really just detach your brain at will?[Little Overlord][Fully Subscribed] Chapter 213 -2 points

I’m truly speechless about this novel. I jumped in halfway and followed it chapter by chapter every day.

            

However good the early part was, that’s how rotten the middle and late parts were. Reading it before bed gives me murderous dreams, and reading it after waking up makes me angry all day.

Author, are you one of those legendary, breathing sh#t-making machines? Are you f#cking​⁴⁵ serious with this ending? I must have been insane to leave comments and keep smashing mines​⁴⁶ every day amidst a sea of criticism, firmly believing you could make the logic work!

You built such a big world, buried so many clues, dug one pit after another, and then when you couldn’t fill them, you just killed off the main characters to half-ass a conclusion?

            

After so many years of reading, this is the first time I’ve ever felt so frustrated!

Warning! Warning! Warning!​⁴⁷! Dumbass author, permanently blacklisted! This trashy piece of sh#t, whoever reads it is a f#cking idiot!

It wasn’t that she was being overly serious. This trashy angst-fest of a novel clearly had so many foreshadowing clues it could have used. It could have had an ending a hundred times better than this one just by carefully copying the “homework”​⁴⁸ from the readers in the comments section, yet the author… the author…

            

The author had irresponsibly produced a crap ending!

Three months! She had once trusted this author, who had always had a great reputation, so much, only to be fed a mouthful of hot sh#t in the end!

Perhaps it was a case of the deeper the love, the fiercer the hatred. After leaving her negative review, she repeatedly refreshed the page in the chaotic comments section. Just like many other readers who had been hurt by a bad author, she tormented herself for nearly two hours. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. Finally, while drinking hot water, she couldn’t catch her breath, and collapsed in the bathroom, clutching her throat, choking to death on the spot.

            

This piece of junk, whoever reads it really is a f#cking idiot, huh?

In the second before she lost consciousness, Yi Qiu thought that she was probably a dumbass—the world’s first dumbass to be literally angered to death by a novel.

Trash novel, waste of my life. Give me the pen, I could write it a hundred times better than that dumbass author!

            

【Ding——】

In the pitch-black darkness, a strange sound rang in her ear.

【Ding ——】

            

Did someone find me after I stopped breathing?

【Ding ——】

What’s with all the dinging? If you don’t call an ambulance soon, I’m going to be a corpse!

            

【System has successfully bonded with Host.】

【Host’s request successfully received—”Give me the pen, I can write a hundred times better than that dumbass author!”】

【Current Mission Objective—Change the world-line of 《Thin, Withered Branch》 and create a reasonable path to a Happy Ending!】

            

Yi Qiu: ??????

---

---