Fate Trading System – Chapter 386
by Little PandaPlan B
Mandarin Ducks 16
“Sometimes, I forget that you were originally a woman, because you do so well—better than most men in this world, whether in talent, ability, or breadth of mind.”
The Emperor sighed with such emotion. When his childhood friend confessed that greatest secret to him, it wasn’t that he wasn’t shocked. What an audacious thing to do. To put it more severely, it could even be considered deceiving the monarch and disregarding those above1.
“If you were a man… forget it, forget it. It’s no different now.”
The Emperor often thought this way. If Lin Suhuai weren’t a woman, but a man, how great would her achievements be? But on second thought, it seemed there was no difference from what he had envisioned.
“What does it matter if I’m a man or a woman? In any case, Suhuai standing here today is what everyone hoped for.”
Lin Suhuai never felt apologetic for being born a woman. It was something she couldn’t choose. She only knew that her destiny was hers to control.
She didn’t think there was anything so remarkable about men. True, their external strength was greater, but so what? Nor did she feel there was anything shameful about women. To be born gentle, weak, and obedient—that was their way of life.
That she could stand here now was, in the beginning, because of her parents, but the process was something she fought for herself.
She didn’t feel uncomfortable being this way. She didn’t think that dressing as a man meant abandoning her identity as a woman. Those characteristics were still part of her, and she had never despised them.
What she shouldered now was enough to satisfy her parents, to satisfy her good friend and sovereign, and to satisfy herself. That was enough.
“Will there be a day in the future when you’ll want to resume your identity as a woman?”
The Emperor asked. In the beginning, he had actually harbored some romantic thoughts. He had a very good impression of Lin Suhuai. If she could be with him, the two of them could surely lead the world into a golden age together. But he dismissed these thoughts himself and never spoke of them to her.
He knew that Lin Suhuai had been honest about her identity only to prevent any resentment from forming in his heart, and at the same time, she had placed her biggest vulnerability in his hands to earn his trust.
Lin Suhuai had no need for him to pity her for being a woman or anything of the sort. To her, that would be an insult.
Although Lin Suhuai was a woman, her insight and knowledge were no less than a man’s. What she carried in her heart was the world, not matters of children’s affections are long2. Moreover, the Emperor simply couldn’t imagine Lin Suhuai lying in a bed with him; at most, he could only picture the two of them holding wine and speaking joyfully.
Once the Emperor thought it through, he completely treated Lin Suhuai as one of his buddies3, and even trusted her more.
He had originally thought Lin Suhuai would remain single her whole life, but he never expected her to actually get married, and to a woman at that. To the outside world, it was logical, but to him, it was still somewhat surprising. After all, a man and a woman being together was the worldly norm. But thinking about it, it didn’t seem that hard to accept.
“Let’s wait for the day I can remove armor and return to the fields4. If I can take her away from here to go touring mountains and playing in waters5, then I won’t have to pretend anymore.”
There was no need to let the world know the truth; that would only stir up trouble, and Lin Suhuai didn’t like to cause problems.
But if she were in a world of their own with Su Xin, Lin Suhuai certainly wouldn’t need to pretend.
“I see… That will definitely happen.”
The Emperor pondered for a moment, then nodded.
“Mhm.”
Lin Suhuai spoke about some other matters, the “I’ve said my piece, can I go now?” expression on her face couldn’t be more obvious, leaving the Emperor feeling a bit helpless.
“Not even going to stay and reminisce with me? In such a hurry to get back?”
“There is a beautiful young wife at home, and my heart is tied there. I ask for Your Majesty’s understanding.”
“Really can’t be apart for even a moment, hmm?”
The Emperor teased. He had never seen Lin Suhuai care so much about anyone. He could only say that Lin Suhuai’s wife, whom he had never met, was truly formidable.
“Not for a single moment.” Lin Suhuai nodded very seriously.
“I don’t know what it is, but if I don’t see her for a day, my heart panics, as if a piece of it is missing. She’s all that’s here, too.”
Lin Suhuai pointed to her own forehead.
“Tsk tsk.”
The Emperor clicked his tongue twice, blinded by Lin Suhuai’s sudden showcasing grace and love6. A sweet, cloying taste filled his mouth.
“Is the affection between two women always like it is between you and her?”
The Emperor asked with some curiosity. He wasn’t opposed to this kind of love; as long as Lin Suhuai was happy, that was enough. Although it was said that the way of men and women7 was destined by the heavens, was there any shortage of infatuated men and resentful women8 in the world? Was there any shortage of misfortune that arose from it?
Gender wasn’t the point. Whether one was happy or not was what mattered most.
“I wouldn’t say so. After all, I haven’t seen how other women are intimate with each other. It’s likely the same between man and man, or man and woman. Before I met her, I had never felt this way. Although she saved me, it wasn’t a case of one glance, fixated feelings9 for me. How can I describe that feeling… It was probably when she smiled while looking at me, that she ran straight into my heart.”
“I think, the saying, ‘in that instant, heaven and earth dimmed in comparison,’ is probably just like that.”
A voice in her heart said, it’s her.
My heart delights in her. I want no one but her.
“Then We10 shall grant you permission to hurry back and see her now.”
The Emperor waved his hand, shooing away the person with a face full of sweetness.
He would probably never taste such a joyous feeling in his entire life.
Lin Suhuai left immediately, without a moment’s hesitation.
The Emperor sighed internally at Lin Suhuai valuing color over friendship11, but in his heart, he was still quite happy for her.
Su Xin was suffering from the toil of boat and carriage12. After a comfortable bath and enjoying a massage from a maidservant, she had a good sleep on the fresh bedding the General’s wife had specially prepared for her.
When she opened her eyes again, the sky was already nearing dusk.
Lin Suhuai had returned and was lying beside her, watching her with open eyes.
“You’re back?”
Su Xin’s voice still had a nasal tone from sleep. She reached out and wrapped her arms around Lin Suhuai’s waist.
“Mhm.”
Lin Suhuai spread her palm and placed it over Su Xin’s eyes. Su Xin hadn’t rested well recently due to the journey. Even though she had slept her fill now, she still seemed a little lethargic, and her eyelids were slightly swollen.
Lin Suhuai circulated the power within her body, warming her palm to make Su Xin feel more comfortable.
“Are you hungry?”
“Not really. I’d like to eat something light.”
Su Xin wasn’t very hungry, but she wanted something light; a little congee would be fine.
“Alright, I’ll have the kitchen make it for you.”
“Have you eaten?”
“I just had the evening meal13 with Father and Mother.”
“Why didn’t you call me?”
Su Xin felt rather embarrassed. The whole family was having dinner while she, the daughter-in-law, was still sleeping in her room.
“Mother wouldn’t let me. I saw how soundly you were sleeping and couldn’t bear to disturb you either.”
When Lin Suhuai returned, she was immediately met with a barrage of asking about cold and warmth14. As she was about to head back to her room, her mother told her Su Xin was asleep and not to wake her. Lin Suhuai agreed. After bathing, she spoke with her father in the study for a while, then went to talk with her mother. When it was time for the evening meal, none of the three mentioned waking Su Xin to eat, letting her rest well. Her mother even said after the meal that no matter what time Su Xin woke up, they must not let her go hungry.
“Alright then.”
Su Xin blushed a little and wrapped her arms around Lin Suhuai’s neck.
“I want to drink congee and eat Exquisite Eight-Treasure Buns15.”
These were breakfast foods, but there was nothing wrong with eating them at night.
The Exquisite Eight-Treasure Buns looked like crystal soup dumplings16, utterly delicious, fresh, and juicy. Eating one in a single bite was incredibly satisfying.
“Alright.”
Lin Suhuai lay on the bed without moving and called out to the maidservant standing outside. The maidservant hurried in, acknowledged the request, and headed for the kitchen.
No matter how Su Xin looked, Lin Suhuai found her pleasing to the eye. The way she ate was also exceptionally cute.
After eating, Su Xin walked around the room for a bit before curling up on the bed, refusing to move, even though the charcoal fire made the room very warm.
Su Xin and Lin Suhuai each found a book to read, and before long, they rested.
Outside, the wind howled, but inside, it was warm and cozy.
The noble ladies in the capital always had ways to organize all sorts of gatherings. They appreciated peach blossoms in the spring and plum blossoms in the winter. It had just snowed in the capital yesterday, and today someone had already sent out invitations to appreciate the plum blossoms.
There was a manor that was usually used for small gatherings and excursions, highly favored by the noble ladies and gifted scholars17.
This manor was very large and encompassed scenery for all four seasons. Here, one could appreciate peach, pear, and other vibrant blossoms in the spring, lotuses in the summer, and plum blossoms in the winter.
There were many different kinds of gatherings, but not everyone could attend.
Some were for small circles, for sworn sisters18 who could speak private, intimate words19 with each other.
Some were unrestricted, held only for competing in novelty and vying in beauty20. And some were just a group of plastic flower sisters21 comparing themselves to one another, seeing who was doing better recently, and ripping at each other22.
On only the second day of Su Xin’s arrival, the General’s wife came over with two invitation cards, her expression not very happy.
“This bunch of women, ah, they probably just want to see you. Mother hates these kinds of gatherings the most. I usually avoid them if I can. Some people, oh, that mouth of theirs, they don’t spare anyone at all, insulting people in roundabout ways. It’s just uncomfortable to watch. It’s a good thing I’m old now. If this were back when I was young, I would’ve gotten into a fight with them.”
The General’s wife huffed. In her youth, her presence was second to none, but she avoided these gatherings whenever possible. They were too draining. She wasn’t afraid of hitting a woman—who wasn’t a woman, anyway—but she couldn’t cause trouble for her husband.
“Do a lot of people go?”
“It looks like it. Probably everyone will be there—married, unmarried, those who’ve had children, and those who haven’t. And Mother predicts that the Empress Dowager will also be there.”
Although the General’s wife was straightforward and unpretentious, she understood everything that needed to be understood.
So many people were watching their family. The Empress Dowager would, of course, be the most eager to see what kind of wife her Suhuai had married. She was very wary of their family, afraid day in and day out that Suhuai would marry someone from a prominent family, which would increase the Lin family’s power.
The General’s wife hated the Empress Dowager to death. Although the boy they had brought in wasn’t her biological child, the one the Empress Dowager had intended to harm was her own flesh and blood, and she had forced her daughter onto a difficult path.
“Jinyan, don’t you worry. Mother will definitely dress you up so beautifully that your beauty will press down on the group of fragrances23!”
Su Xin indicated that this was completely OK.
Footnotes
- Hanzi: 欺君罔上. Pinyin: qījūn wǎngshàng. Explanation: An idiom that literally means ‘to deceive the monarch and disregard superiors’. It is a very serious accusation of treason and disrespect to the throne.
- Hanzi: 儿女情长. Pinyin: érnǚ qíngcháng. Explanation: An idiom that literally means ‘children’s feelings are long’. It refers to romantic love or deep affection, often with the connotation of being preoccupied by such matters.
- Hanzi: 哥们儿. Pinyin: gēmenr. Explanation: A colloquial, masculine term for ‘brothers’, ‘buddies’, or ‘bros’. It implies a very close and informal friendship.
- Hanzi: 解甲归田. Pinyin: jiějiǎ guītián. Explanation: An idiom that literally means to take off one’s armor and return to the farmland. It signifies retiring from military service and returning to a peaceful, civilian life.
- Hanzi: 游山玩水. Pinyin: yóushān wánshuǐ. Explanation: An idiom that literally means ‘to travel mountains and play in waters’. It describes the act of leisurely sightseeing and enjoying nature.
- Hanzi: 秀恩爱. Pinyin: xiù ēn’ài. Explanation: A modern slang term that literally translates to ‘showcasing grace and love’. It means to engage in a public display of affection (PDA), especially online.
- Hanzi: 男女之道. Pinyin: nánnǚ zhī dào. Explanation: A phrase referring to the natural order or conventional relationship between men and women, particularly in a romantic or marital context.
- Hanzi: 痴男怨女. Pinyin: chīnán yuànnǚ. Explanation: An idiom describing men and women who are deeply entangled in the sorrows and frustrations of unfulfilled love.
- Hanzi: 一见钟情. Pinyin: yījiànzhōngqíng. Explanation: An idiom that literally means ‘one look, fixated feelings’. It is the direct equivalent of ‘love at first sight’.
- Hanzi: 朕. Pinyin: zhèn. Explanation: The royal ‘I’ or ‘We’, a pronoun used exclusively by the emperor to refer to himself.
- Hanzi: 重色轻友. Pinyin: zhòngsè qīngyǒu. Explanation: An idiom that literally means ‘to value color/beauty, and lighten friendship’. It’s often used teasingly to describe someone who prioritizes their romantic partner over their friends.
- Hanzi: 舟车劳顿. Pinyin: zhōuchē láodùn. Explanation: An idiom literally meaning ‘boat and carriage toil and fatigue’. It describes the exhaustion that comes from a long journey.
- Hanzi: 晚膳. Pinyin: wǎnshàn. Explanation: A more formal term for the evening meal or dinner, often used in historical or noble settings.
- Hanzi: 嘘寒问暖. Pinyin: xūhánwènnuǎn. Explanation: An idiom that literally means ‘to inquire about cold and warmth’. It describes the act of showing great care and solicitude for someone’s well-being.
- Hanzi: 玲珑八宝包. Pinyin: Línglóng Bābǎo Bāo. Explanation: A type of delicate, steamed bun. 玲珑 (línglóng) means ‘exquisite’ or ‘delicate’. 八宝 (bābǎo) means ‘eight treasures’, referring to a rich filling made from eight different ingredients, which can be sweet or savory.
- Hanzi: 水晶小笼包. Pinyin: shuǐjīng xiǎolóngbāo. Explanation: A type of ‘xiaolongbao’ (soup dumpling) with a translucent, almost crystalline wrapper.
- Hanzi: 才子. Pinyin: cáizǐ. Explanation: A term for a gifted or talented scholar, particularly one skilled in literature and the arts.
- Hanzi: 手帕交. Pinyin: shǒupàjiāo. Explanation: Literally ‘handkerchief exchange’. It refers to a very close, sworn friendship between women, akin to ‘bosom buddies’ or ‘sisters by bond’.
- Hanzi: 体己话. Pinyin: tǐjihuà. Explanation: Intimate, confidential talk shared between very close friends or family members.
- Hanzi: 争奇斗艳. Pinyin: zhēngqí dòuyàn. Explanation: An idiom that literally means ‘to compete in novelty and contend in beauty’. It is used to describe a scene where many people (usually women) or things (like flowers) are vying to be the most beautiful and eye-catching.
- Hanzi: 塑料花姐妹. Pinyin: sùliàohuā jiěmèi. Explanation: A modern internet slang term. It describes a superficial friendship that looks beautiful on the surface (like plastic flowers) but is fake and fragile.
- Hanzi: 撕逼. Pinyin: sībī. Explanation: A vulgar internet slang term. The literal translation is ‘to tear cunt’. It is used to describe intense, vicious fighting or arguing between people, especially women.
- Hanzi: 艳压群芳. Pinyin: yànyā qúnfāng. Explanation: An idiom literally meaning ‘beauty that presses down on the group of fragrances’. It is used to describe a woman of such outstanding beauty that she surpasses all others present.
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