Cuddling with the Cold Female Protagonist – Chapter 80
by Little PandaVolume 3: Courtly Winds and Clouds, Each Finds Their Place
Embroidered So Well
That wasn’t just much more valuable, it was simply priceless, alright!
Before she transmigrated into the book, Su Yi had always had a wish since she was little, and that was to become a rich woman. She would sometimes naively think, if everyone among the 1.4 billion people in the country gave her one kuai1, wouldn’t she be rich!
She never expected that this daydreaming fantasy would actually come true today. Thank you, Your Majesty the Emperor, thank you to the ancestors of the Yanxue Kingdom, thank you for your nurturing, which allowed these imperial heirs of the Yanxue Kingdom to become people who enjoy helping others, helping a pauper like her, who was utterly destitute2, realize her life’s ambition.
Su Yi wiped away a non-existent tear, “Your Highness, if you give these to me, what about yourself?”
“Rest assured, this is merely a part of This Palace’s assets.” Ji Qingchi lowered her head and smiled, “Tell me, are these much more valuable than Fifth Imperial Sister’s?”
“Of course, Your Highness’s gift is more valuable than all the other Highnesses’ combined.”
“Mhm, is that so?”
“Of course, it is.”
“In that case… This Palace heard you gave Imperial Sister a return gift, a piece of clothing you made yourself. Since This Palace’s gift is more valuable than Fifth Imperial Sister’s, what return gift will you give This Palace?”
Ah this, ah this.
Su Yi aba aba3 was unable to speak.
Could she say that the dress was actually embroidered by an embroiderer from her shop, and that she had specially taken it out to keep up appearances4, and to highlight the sincerity of her gift, she had lied and claimed she embroidered it herself?
She couldn’t say.
If she said it, and the news leaked, she was afraid of getting a mixed doubles beating5 from the Fifth Imperial Princess and the steward she had sent to deliver the gifts.
Su Yi secretly gritted her teeth, “I remember there are many valuable things in the treasury of the Su Manor. I’ll go pick some out for Your Highness.”
As she spoke, she was about to pocket the keys and flee, but Ji Qingchi pulled her back, trapping her in her embrace again, and said insistently, “This Palace doesn’t want those. This Palace also wants clothes personally made by you.”
“Your Highness…” Su Yi struggled futilely6, and had no choice but to compromise, “I didn’t make that. I had an embroiderer make it.”
Ji Qingchi immediately showed great surprise, her eyes sparkling, “The one Fifth Imperial Sister has wasn’t personally made by you?! That’s wonderful—but This Palace still wants a piece of clothing personally made by you.”
She was a designer, not a tailor or embroiderer, how could she make clothes?
Asking Zhong Kui7 to judge cases, and Bao Heitan8 to catch ghosts, aren’t you just making things difficult for people?
Su Yi was speechless, pestered by her until she had no choice but to agree, “Alright, alright, I can’t make clothes. How about I embroider a pouch9 for Your Highness, is that okay?”
“Of course, you can.” Ji Qingchi said with a beaming smile, “As long as you make it, This Palace will like it!”
However, a few days later, facing the crumpled ball of fabric in her hand, Ji Qingchi fell silent.
“Didn’t Your Highness say you’d like anything I made?” Su Yi sat by the window seat in Tianyi Tower, watching the pedestrians passing by downstairs, while raising an eyebrow at the stunned person opposite her, and asked slowly.
“…I like it.” Ji Qingchi used some effort to open up a small part of the “pouch,” attached a tassel, and carefully hung it on her waist. She looked up at her and said with a smile, “This pheasant10 is beautiful, exceptionally majestic. You did a really good job!”
“Pheasant?” Su Yi’s temple twitched a few times. She took out another equally ugly ball of cloth, pointed at the muddled stitches on it, “Your Highness, take a guess, what is this?”
“En…” Ji Qingchi tried hard to identify it, “Is this… a wild duck?”
“This is a female Phoenix11.” Su Yi said expressionlessly, then pointed to the “pouch” on her waist, “That is a male Phoenix12.”
Ji Qingchi was speechless again, holding the ball of cloth, not knowing how to reply.
The few people watching the show from the side had been holding their breath and saying nothing. After these two had this little scene, none of them could hold it in anymore and burst out laughing, clutching their stomachs.
Yan Can wiped her tears as she laughed, “Miss, this is your first time doing this, you’re not very skilled. You’ll get better with more practice.”
Feng Ruoqing also laughed, “That’s right, that’s right, at least Ninth Highness could recognize them as a pheasant and a wild duck. It means they at least bear a resemblance in spirit, that’s great progress! Congratulations13!”
Shui Qing gnawed on a chicken leg, “That’s right, they’re right. Miss Su, you just need to focus on researching recipes. As for these needlework things, just making a token effort14 is enough.”
Shaoyao was the most reliable. Although she was also grinning from ear to ear, she still remembered to help her save some face in front of Ji Qingchi, “Ninth Highness, our Miss practiced for a long time to make these. She specially made two, one female and one male, intending for you and her to have one each.”
Ji Qingchi smiled, put the item away properly, and returned the one Su Yi was holding to her, “Then This Palace must treasure it well. Miss Su, you should also treasure yours. After all, this is Miss Su’s first time making it, so it’s normal to be unskilled.”
Thanks a lot, everyone. I’m not comforted at all.
Su Yi glared at them, put away her pouch, and the corner of her eye caught a gray sedan chair passing in the middle of the street. She quickly made a “shush” gesture.
The group immediately wiped the smiles from their faces, composed their expressions, moved closer to the window, and stared intently at the inconspicuous small gray felt sedan chair.
After the banquet at the Imperial Prince’s Manor that day, despite the Emperor and Chancellor Xiao trying their best to cover it up, the matter of Xiao Zhengyun getting drunk and having a drunken affair15 with a maidservant still spread.
That maidservant was the one who had mistaken Su Yi for her own companion. She had originally gone out to wait for Su Yi. After waiting for a long time without seeing Su Yi, she became suspicious and went to look for her. She was discovered by Ji Qingchi, and after a struggle, Ji Qingchi hit her sleep acupoint16.
As for her real companion, she arrived a step too late. When she was scouting for information and reached the guest room, she happened to stumble upon Su Yi and the two imperial princesses plotting secretly.
Towards suspicious individuals, the two imperial princesses’ sensitivity was more accurate than radar. They immediately captured her, each knocking her unconscious with a palm strike, and had someone throw her into the woodshed.
If they could capture two maidservants skilled in martial arts, let alone those maidservants and young male servants under Xiao Zhengyun who didn’t know martial arts.
After agreeing on the plan, Ji Qingchi and the Fifth Imperial Princess went out and guarded the two exits of the courtyard where the guest rooms were located. If they saw any suspicious individuals, they would apprehend them.
When they had caught almost everyone, they dragged the already unconscious maidservant onto Xiao Zhengyun’s bed.
Then, it was the Fifth Imperial Princess’s turn to strip Xiao Zhengyun’s clothes.
Originally, the Fifth Imperial Princess still had some illusions about Xiao Zhengyun. But when she was stripping his clothes, she discovered he actually had body odor, which was usually masked by incense and not noticeable. She was nauseated by the smell for a long time. After enduring the urge to vomit and stripping his upper body clothes, no matter how Ji Qingchi tried to provoke her using reverse psychology17, she remained unmoved and refused to strip him further. So, Ji Qingchi had to take a sword and slash open all of Xiao Zhengyun’s remaining clothes, and had the young male servants from the Prince’s Manor take the clothes away.
Then, a few of them chatted together, waited for Xiao Zhengyun to wake up, and then staged a scene of discord.
The two imperial princesses’ acting was very successful. Being punished by the Emperor made it even more authentic. Now, the entire Jingdu, besides knowing that Xiao Zhengyun was “unclean,” also knew that the two imperial princesses had a big fight over Xiao Zhengyun.
With rumors and gossip18 swirling outside, Xiao Zhengyun naturally heard them. He closed his doors and refused visitors, and smashed his courtyard to pieces.
When he was both angry and heartbroken, and depressed to the point of vomiting blood, Hua Wushang came looking for him.
After losing two subordinates at one banquet, Hua Wushang also put away his slight underestimation of the women of the Yanxue Kingdom. He sought out Xiao Zhengyun and told him that if he wanted revenge, he could join forces with him.
He didn’t specify the detailed plan. Ji Qingchi’s shadow guards planted in the Xiao Manor were discovered by him. He secretly warned Xiao Zhengyun that there were spies in his residence. Xiao Zhengyun, along with Xiao Quan, used the pretext of searching for a household thief to find the spies planted in the residence and killed them under a random pretext.
Several shadow guards were also pursued and severely injured by men sent by Hua Wushang. They escaped desperately and managed to return, only to tell Ji Qingchi to be careful before they breathed their last.
Ji Qingchi had them buried with honors. Afterwards, using the excuse of being bored, she would invite people for tea every day, and arranged to sit with Su Yi at Tianyi Tower, watching the crowds on the street.
Since Hua Wushang wasn’t talking to Xiao Zhengyun in the Xiao Manor, he would inevitably have to find a new place to talk. Logically, since Hua Wushang was the Young Master, Yiyun Tower, a pleasure quarter19 run by Xuanji Tower, would be the best place. However, they secretly received news from Hua Wuying that Hua Wushang did not take anyone there.
The group racked their brains but couldn’t think of any other place they could talk, so they sent people to watch the entrance of the Xiao Manor and also kept a close eye on the streets.
After waiting for a tree stump for a rabbit20 like this for several days, the scouts finally saw a gray sedan chair quietly emerge from a small gate of the Xiao Manor. So, they quickly delivered this intelligence to Ji Qingchi and the others.
The group sat by the window, continuously paying attention to the gray sedan chair.
Now that they had finally spotted it, they were overjoyed.
Yan Can asked softly, “Miss, should we have the guards waiting downstairs intercept the sedan chair?”
“No need, that would alert the enemy21.”
Su Yi watched the small sedan chair below weave through the crowd. Only two people were carrying it, one of whom had his arms crossed, carrying the sedan chair with just a small part of his shoulder.
Even if Xiao Zhengyun was very light, he still had some weight. Carrying the sedan chair with just a small part of the shoulder like that, could he really manage it?
Su Yi expressed her doubts. She pulled Ji Qingchi over, “Your Highness, take a look, is there anything wrong with that sedan chair?”
Ji Qingchi saw through it at a glance, “That sedan chair is empty. Xiao Zhengyun is not in it.”
Su Yi and she exchanged a look, “Crossing the sea under camouflage22!”
The real Xiao Zhengyun, disguised as a purchasing maidservant from the residence, went out with the comprador23. After confirming there were no spies following behind, he made several turns and arrived at a small two-courtyard house hidden in the middle of the bustling market.
This was Hua Wushang’s lodging place in the city. Great hermits hide in the bustling city24; the noisy market and the crowds of people could perfectly help conceal those who came to find him.
As soon as Xiao Zhengyun entered, two women scouted outside and then reported back to him, “Young Master, no one is following.”
“Good, you may leave. Let This Seat have a good talk with Young Master Xiao.”
“Yes.”
The women clasped their fists25 and withdrew. Hua Wushang brought cups and brewed tea for Xiao Zhengyun, “Xiao-xong26, you’ve had a hard journey. Have some tea to soothe your throat first.”
Xiao Zhengyun clutched the cup but couldn’t swallow, “I have already administered the Gu27 you gave me to my mother. What’s the next step?”
“Does your mother listen to you now?”
“I told her about the dangers of the Gu, and she immediately knelt and begged me, giving me the keys to the treasury where the wealth is hidden.” A crazed delight flickered in Xiao Zhengyun’s eyes. Originally, he was Xiao Quan’s legitimate son; only he was qualified to inherit the entire treasury.
Hua Wushang smiled faintly, guiding him persuasively, “Well done. This isn’t enough. The position of Chancellor will also be yours in the future.”
“And the position of Imperial Husband!” Xiao Zhengyun clenched his cup. The verbal abuse during this period had made him gradually lose the composure and patience of a noble young master. Every day when he closed his eyes, it was as if he returned to that day at the Imperial Prince’s Manor.
That nightmarish time.
He was naked, clutching a blanket, made a laughingstock by everyone, facing everyone’s pointing fingers. Every time he closed his eyes, he seemed to hear their accusing voices. Prolonged lack of sleep had led to a nervous breakdown. He no longer thought about love or schemes; he only wanted to teach a lesson to those who had mocked him. The thought of them pointing and criticizing him made his eyes bloodshot. “I want the Ninth Imperial Princess to ascend the throne! I want to kill those who mocked me! I want them to be dismembered by five horses28! Torn into a thousand pieces!”
Hua Wushang lowered his head slightly, pressing his shoulder, “Tsk tsk tsk, Xiao-xong, you’re not thinking big enough. Why only be an Imperial Husband? We men, if we’re going to do something, we should aim for the top. Emperor, that’s who truly holds the power of life and death. Think about it, as long as you become the Emperor, what are imperial princesses, noble ladies, and those men who spread rumors about you? Aren’t they all just playthings in your hands? An Emperor can have the Three Palaces and Six Courtyards29. At that time, you can treat all the imperial princesses as your concubines, wouldn’t that be good?”
Just imagining that scene, Xiao Zhengyun felt the greed in his heart expand infinitely. He muttered to himself, “That’s right, what’s so good about being an Imperial Husband? I want to be the Emperor, I want to be the Emperor…”
Seeing the incitement succeed, Hua Wushang took a disdainful sip of tea. Indeed, these men who grew up in a female-dominated nation were truly ignorant. A little deception was all it took for them to fall into a trap.
He reached out and pressed down on the frenzied Xiao Zhengyun, smiling, “Don’t get excited, Xiao-xong. Let’s slowly discuss what to do next to make those two imperial princesses kill each other.”
Footnotes
- 块 | kuài | Colloquial for Yuan (CNY).
- 一穷二白 | yīqióng’èrbái | Lit. “one poor two blank” | Fig. utterly destitute; impoverished and backward.
- 阿巴阿巴 | ābā ābā | Onomatopoeia: sound of stammering or being speechless.
- 撑场面 | chēng chǎngmiàn | Lit. “prop up a scene/facade” | Fig. to keep up appearances; to make a good showing.
- 混合双打 | hùnhé shuāngdǎ | Lit. “mixed doubles (in sports)” | Fig. (slang) a beating from two or more people, often a couple or a pair acting in concert.
- 挣扎无门 | zhēngzhá wú mén | Lit. “struggle without a door/way out” | Fig. to struggle futilely; to have no way out.
- 钟馗 | Zhōng Kuí | A figure in Chinese mythology, traditionally regarded as a vanquisher of ghosts and evil beings.
- 包黑炭 | Bāo Hēitàn | Lit. “Bao Black-Charcoal.” A popular nickname for Bao Zheng (包拯), a Northern Song Dynasty official renowned for his impartiality and uprightness, often depicted with a dark face in folklore and opera.
- 荷包 | hébāo | Scented pouch; small bag or purse, often embroidered and worn at the waist.
- 野鸡 | yějī | Pheasant. Also used colloquially to mean ‘wild chicken’ or something of inferior/unofficial quality, but here refers to the bird itself as an embroidered subject.
- 凰鸟 | huángniǎo | Often paired with the male phoenix. Together they represent auspiciousness and marital harmony.
- 凤鸟 | fèngniǎo | A mythical bird in Chinese folklore, symbolizing good fortune and virtue.
- 可喜可贺 | kěxǐkěhè | Lit. “worth rejoicing, worth congratulating” | Fig. worthy of congratulations; gratifying.
- 意思意思 | yìsi yìsi | Lit. “meaning meaning” | Fig. to make a token gesture; just for show; to do something superficially.
- 酒后乱性 | jiǔhòu luànxìng | Lit. “after wine, disordered nature/sex” | Fig. to lose one’s sexual inhibitions due to alcohol; to have a drunken affair.
- 睡穴 | shuìxué | Sleep acupoint; a vital point on the body which, when struck or pressed in martial arts or traditional medicine, can induce unconsciousness or sleep.
- 激将法 | jījiàngfǎ | Lit. “rouse general method” | Fig. needling somebody into doing something; to provoke; reverse psychology.
- 流言蜚语 | liúyánfēiyǔ | Lit. “flowing words, flying speech” | Fig. rumors and slander; gossip.
- 风月场所 | fēngyuè chǎngsuǒ | Lit. “wind moon place” | Fig. pleasure quarter; brothel; establishment for sensual pleasures.
- 守株待兔 | shǒuzhūdàitù | Lit. “guarding a tree stump to wait for a rabbit” | Fig. to wait foolishly for a stroke of luck; to rely on chance instead of effort.
- 打草惊蛇 | dǎcǎojīngshé | Lit. “beat the grass and startle the snake” | Fig. to act rashly and alert the enemy; to inadvertently tip off an opponent.
- 瞒天过海 | mántiānguòhǎi | Lit. “deceive the heavens to cross the sea” | Fig. to achieve one’s objective by stealth or deception; a stratagem of hiding one’s true intentions.
- 买办 | mǎibàn | Comprador; an agent who manages purchases or business for an employer. In this context, likely a senior servant in charge of procurement.
- 大隐隐于市 | dàyǐnyǐnyúshì | Lit. “great hermit hides in city” | Fig. The best way to hide is in plain sight; a truly reclusive person can find peace even in a bustling city.
- 抱拳 | bàoquán | To cup one fist in the other hand as a salute or sign of respect/politeness (common in martial arts contexts or formal greetings).
- 肖兄 | Xiāo xiōng | Xiong (兄): elder brother; a polite term of address for a male friend or acquaintance of similar age or slightly older.
- 蛊 | gǔ | A venomous insect or poison used in black magic; a type of sorcery or witchcraft involving venomous creatures to harm or control people.
- 五马分尸 | wǔmǎfēnshī | Lit. “five horses divide corpse” | Fig. Dismemberment by five horses (an ancient form of execution); to be torn limb from limb.
- 三宫六院 | sāngōngliùyuàn | Lit. “Three Palaces and Six Courtyards” | Fig. The imperial harem; refers to the extensive living quarters of the emperor’s consorts and concubines, symbolizing a vast number of women.
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