The Rest of My Life (End)
Zhou Ziqiu suddenly opened her eyes. It was dark and quiet all around, only the sound of her heartbeat pounding like a drum, reverberating through her bones into her ears.
Lately, she always dreamt of things that happened a long, long time ago, as if she was reliving those past events; the words and actions in the dream were so vivid.
She lay there for a long time until her heartbeat finally calmed down. At the same time, the dawn’s light filtered through the gauze curtains, illuminating the outlines of the room’s furnishings. She could no longer fall asleep, so she watched the light and shadows on the ground, seeing them gradually turn orange and bright.
Last night, Shi Li followed Ye Youqing out of the city to buy supplies and did not return all night. Now the weather was already a bit chilly. Although she was covered with a quilt, she could still feel the lonely cold.
The door suddenly creaked open, and a tall figure covered in frost tiptoed in. In the main room, the figure rustled as it took off the cold outerwear, and then walked into the bedroom.
Shi Li originally intended to lie beside Zhou Ziqiu while she was still asleep. However, as soon as she stealthily approached the bed, she met Zhou Ziqiu’s phoenix eyes.
Shi Li was silent for a moment, then put down the hand that was secretly pulling at the quilt and awkwardly said, “You’re awake?”
Zhou Ziqiu responded with a hum. She extended her hand out from under the quilt, reaching towards Shi Li with warmth.
“My hands are cold,” Shi Li said, moving her hands behind her back. But Zhou Ziqiu, relentless, kept her hand raised, her fingertips soft and smooth, the fatigue at the corners of her eyes revealing that she had not slept well last night.
Shi Li had no choice but to compromise, taking hold of her fingers. Zhou Ziqiu suddenly used the leverage to sit up and, in one fluid motion, embraced Shi Li’s waist, pressing her face against Shi Li’s abdomen.
Since losing her memory, Zhou Ziqiu had always been this clingy. Shi Li had already gotten used to it, so she bent her knees to sit down, pulled the quilt over to wrap around her, to prevent her from catching a cold.
“Were you scared?” Shi Li asked softly.
She always had nightmares, sometimes screaming and crying in her sleep, but when she woke up and Shi Li asked, she would say she didn’t remember.
Zhou Ziqiu paused for a moment, then nodded.
“You must remember that everything in the dream is fake. Next time you have a dream, tell yourself that in the dream,” Shi Li said, patting her on the back.
A strange emotion flashed through Zhou Ziqiu’s eyes, but with her eyelashes lowered, Shi Li couldn’t see it.
“By the way, Xiaoqing said there’s a Winter Festival at the Huai River today. It’s very lively. She mentioned that you haven’t gone out for several days. Why not take this opportunity to go out for a walk?” Shi Li said.
“I don’t…” Zhou Ziqiu started to say, then changed her mind, “Alright.”
She remembered that in order to accompany her, Shi Li hadn’t gone out for a long time either.
Sure enough, after hearing her response, Shi Li seemed much happier and, smiling, pushed her back onto the bed, “Then rest a bit more. I’ll go ask Chunhong to heat up some water.”
Watching Shi Li pick up the outerwear she had just taken off and leave quickly, Zhou Ziqiu’s eyes softened a bit.
Ye Youqing was right; the temple fair was indeed lively. It stretched along the Huai River, with people shoulder to shoulder as far as the eye could see. The four of them squeezed into the crowd, and no one could feel the early winter chill anymore.
Fortunately, Shi Li held her hand the whole way, so despite the crowd, she didn’t feel uncomfortable.
Ye Youqing and Ci Ke walked ahead of them. Ci Ke found everything novel and kept wandering off, only to be found by Ye Youqing in the crowded masses.
When they returned to Zhou Ziqiu’s side, Ye Youqing had a bunch of miscellaneous items in her arms.
“Ci Ke, why did you even buy a flowerpot!” Ye Youqing looked down and said, half amused and half exasperated.
“One was broken yesterday, so naturally, it needs to be replaced,” Ci Ke answered earnestly.
Unlike the two energetic young people, Zhou Ziqiu had no interest in the dazzling array of items around them, but seeing others happy was also a joy, so she wore a smile on her face.
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Shi Li glanced at her and held her hand a little tighter.
As they reached a slightly open space where the crowd thinned out, an old Taoist with squinting eyes blocked their way. Seeing the four young ladies, he became spirited and stood in their path, eloquently persuading them.
“Talking so mystically, it’s just fortune-telling.” Ye Youqing waved her hand to brush him off, but the old Taoist hastily said, “No, no, fortune-telling also has its own path. I am a true disciple practicing at the Taoist temple on Mount Emei, unlike those deceitful swindlers. You could say we’re worlds apart!”
Seeing that she couldn’t drive him away, Ye Youqing became playful and took out some broken silver from her sleeve, waving it in front of the old Taoist.
“Then tell me, what will my relationship with this young lady be like in the future? If you can predict it, this silver is yours.”
The old Taoist’s eyes lit up at the sight of the silver. He put away his smoke-stained teeth, pretended to be profound, and examined their faces and palm lines before confidently saying, “You both have broad foreheads and well-proportioned features, indicating you are blessed. However, looking at the palm lines, this young lady has a great calamity in her fate, but she will be saved by a destined person. Once this calamity is over, the future will be smooth.”
“If this old Taoist is not mistaken, you are this young lady’s destined person. Destined people have intertwined fates and must not be separated.”
Ye Youqing and Ci Ke exchanged glances, both somewhat surprised. Whether this old Taoist was a fraud or truly insightful, Ye Youqing found his last words comforting and tossed the broken silver into his hand.
The old Taoist, grinning broadly, clutched the silver and turned to Zhou Ziqiu, “These two young ladies…”
Seeing that Zhou Ziqiu seemed interested, Shi Li also took out some broken silver, signaling the old Taoist to speak.
The old Taoist was even more delighted and immediately said, “You are not a native of the Central Plains. Your fate is similar to the previous young lady, having also undergone calamities but now having saved yourself. However…”
“However what? Speak,” Shi Li folded her arms, startling the old Taoist.
“However, it seems there is a burden in your fate. If you cast it off, you will find peace. But if…”
Before he could finish his sentence, Ye Youqing covered his mouth, forcing the rest of his words back down his throat. “You scoundrel Taoist, what nonsense are you spouting!”
Ci Ke, standing nearby, quickly looked at Zhou Ziqiu, only to see that the color had drained from Zhou Ziqiu’s cheeks. Her phoenix eyes widened slightly, and her lips quivered.
“Ziqiu…” Shi Li hurriedly spoke, but Zhou Ziqiu had already withdrawn her hand from Shi Li’s grasp at some point. Suddenly, Zhou Ziqiu turned and ran into the crowded throng.
“Aunt!” Ci Ke called out anxiously and, along with Shi Li, hurriedly chased into the crowd. Soon, their clothing was swallowed up by the masses, rendering them invisible.
Ye Youqing took a few steps before turning back, angrily scolding the petrified old Taoist, “Old fraud!” Then she snatched the broken silver from his hand and turned to chase after the others.
Zhou Ziqiu didn’t even know why she was running. It was as if the old Taoist’s words had yanked out all the thoughts she refused to face, laying them bare for all to see.
The consecutive days of nightmares had already left her feeling anxious every day. Now, like a headless fly, she ran blindly and frantically. When she finally regained some clarity, she found herself standing at the ferry dock, with water lapping over the steps. The river water continuously washed over the ground, making a splashing sound.
She panted heavily, slowly squatting down, letting the river water soak her skirt and seep into her cloth boots. The icy water touched her skin, causing goosebumps all over.
Behind her, the sound of hurried footsteps grew closer. Ci Ke suddenly knelt beside her, reaching out to wrap her in a tight embrace.
Ci Ke seemed frightened, her voice tinged with sobs, “Aunt…”
Zhou Ziqiu placed her hand on Ci Ke’s arm, gently rubbing it to indicate she was okay. She could sense Shi Li standing silently not far behind them, watching intently.
Shi Li had always loved to stare at her like this; it hadn’t changed in over a decade.
After an unknown amount of time, Ci Ke was pulled to her feet, presumably by Ye Youqing, who coaxed her away. The presence beside her changed to someone very familiar.
“Ziqiu,” Shi Li said softly. She squatted down beside her, quietly listening to the ebb and flow of the river. “Have you remembered?”
Zhou Ziqiu’s fingers, resting in the water, stopped moving. The water was very cold, and her hand was nearly numb from the chill.
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Shi Li reached into the water, lifted Zhou Ziqiu’s hand, and held it in her palm, switching to the other hand to warm it.
“So you knew all along.” Zhou Ziqiu smiled faintly. Tired from squatting, she sat down, ignoring the dampness beneath her. “You all went to great lengths to hide those years from me, not telling me what happened. But fate is cruel; I remembered bit by bit.”
“I thought I would be free forever, but I didn’t die. I thought I would never recall that filthy life, but it all resurfaced in my mind. I…”
Zhou Ziqiu let out a bitter laugh and closed her eyes, “My mind is in turmoil.”
Shi Li’s dark brows furrowed as she reached out to brush aside the stray hair on Zhou Ziqiu’s forehead.
“Xiaoqing told me that the reason you forgot was because your emotions were too intense, and you couldn’t bear it at the time. It was your own choice.” Shi Li looked at the haggard woman before her, tears welling up in her eyes. “Now that you remember, it’s because you know you can handle it now.”
“You’ve already avenged yourself. They couldn’t bring you down in over ten years, and they certainly can’t now.” Shi Li spoke with some agitation. She suddenly half-knelt in front of Zhou Ziqiu, lifting her tear-streaked face.
“I have no right to say this because you are a thousand times braver than I am.” Shi Li softened her tone, “And I couldn’t help you with anything…”
Whether it was the wind or her tears, Zhou Ziqiu’s nose and eyes turned red, and her eyes, like clear mirrors, reflected Shi Li’s image.
“It’s not true,” Zhou Ziqiu said. “If it weren’t for me, your family wouldn’t have been destroyed.”
“It was my fault,” Zhou Ziqiu’s shoulders trembled as she closed her eyes, causing tears to fall.
“That’s why I didn’t dare to say that I remembered, Xiaoshi.” Zhou Ziqiu sniffed and then looked up. “I was afraid.”
In the years she couldn’t remember, she was like her younger self, wholeheartedly in love with the girl in the sea of flowers.
“So I lied to you,” Zhou Ziqiu said.
“I was afraid you were only staying to take care of a sick me. I was afraid that once I got better, you would leave.”
The beauty shed tears in the bleak autumn wind. The wind grew stronger, lifting water droplets and scattering tears before they could touch the ground.
Shi Li opened her mouth to speak but said nothing in the end. She merely bent down slightly and kissed those crimson lips, tasting the salt of tears mixed with the unique freshness of the river.
Zhou Ziqiu neither refused nor dodged. She even reached out to wrap her arms around Shi Li’s neck, burying herself deeper into her embrace—not the embrace of the girl in her dreams, but that of a grown woman, warm and comforting.
“I won’t leave. At fifteen, I dared to love you, and now there’s no one who can stop us. Why would I give up?”
“Don’t listen to that old fraud’s lies.”
“From now on, I will hold your hand and never let go again.” Shi Li’s eyes were bloodshot, “Shall we go home?”
Zhou Ziqiu said nothing, only burying her face in Shi Li’s neck, remaining still. Shi Li understood her intent, so she directly picked her up and walked briskly ashore.
Their small courtyard was covered with fallen leaves. Shi Li’s clothes fluttered, sweeping up a wave of leaves as she stepped inside, shutting out the cold wind.
In the years since Zhou Ziqiu lost her memory, Shi Li had only dared to stay by her side, never truly approaching her, fearing she might frighten her.
Zhou Ziqiu leaned back into the bed, pulling Shi Li’s lapel, gently kissing the corners of her mouth and cheeks. Outside, the wind howled, but inside it was as warm as spring.
She was no longer in her youthful form, yet her beauty had not diminished. Her slender, jade-like arms embraced Shi Li.
“Xiaoshi…” she softly called her name, seeking a kiss.
Shi Li pulled down the curtain with one hand and let down her hair with the other, gazing passionately at Zhou Ziqiu. They were no longer the young girls they once were, but lovers who had known and loved each other for over ten years, as familiar with each other as they were with themselves.
Within the gauze canopy, the years of pain and longing were completely left behind.
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“Xiaoshi…” Zhou Ziqiu’s words began to come out in broken fragments, eventually disappearing entirely, leaving only their breaths.
The eerie and terrifying dreams that had haunted her were cast far away at this moment. Her world was filled only with joy, leaving no room for memories, nor the desire to recall them.
Shi Li was right; nothing could defeat her anymore.
The joy, like ocean waves, engulfed her. Even the sound of the wind outside made her blush. Tears fell from the corners of her eyes, flowing into her jet-black hair.
Zhou Ziqiu tightly embraced Shi Li’s waist, rolling over on top of her, caressing her beautiful face amid the pleasure.
“I miss you,” she mouthed.
She truly missed her, in the past years of youthful exuberance, in the days of helpless struggle, in those dark years of single-minded vengeance.
And in the countless days to come.
——————The End——————
LP: This novel is now complete~
Thank you all for reading the novel and for all your support! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡