Seeing My Mother
Ye Youqing’s hands were now empty, so she clasped them behind her back and took a few steps forward, walking side by side with Ci Ke.
“It’s still because you stubbornly refuse to let me tell the truth,” Ye Youqing pretended to sigh.
Hearing her bring up the matter again, Ci Ke’s delicate nose wrinkled into a knot.
“Look, the moment I mention honesty, you fall silent,” Ye Youqing said.
Ci Ke tormented the pristine petal in her hand with her fingertips, her voice lowering somewhat: “No, you are, after all, the daughter of a dignified Duke. The Madam has long hoped for your return and surely wishes for your future peace and stability. Yet you intend to bring me back, which is quite unreasonable.”
“Then are you unwilling to be with me?” Ye Youqing, looking annoyed, snatched back the white peony from her hand. “If you don’t want to be with me, then you are not allowed to accept my flower.”
“No!” Ci Ke became anxious upon hearing this and reached out to tug on Ye Youqing’s sleeve, pulling her to a stop.
“Don’t be upset, I want to marry you, I even dream about it,” Ci Ke said while shaking Ye Youqing’s sleeve, causing Ye Youqing to sway as well. “But I fear they won’t agree.”
“Are you afraid of my father? Now I don’t live in the manor, he can’t control me. As for my mother, she has the gentlest temperament. At most, I will plead with her for a few days; she won’t be able to stop us,” Ye Youqing, dropping the joking tone, explained patiently to her. “Moreover, I don’t need you to come forward. Even if my mother blames someone, she will blame me.”
“This matter cannot be delayed forever. I can’t keep hiding you secretly; what kind of logic is that?” Ye Youqing said softly, looking at the hairpin on top of Ci Ke’s head.
At this moment, a wedding procession passed by behind them with blowing and beating of instruments. Ye Youqing reached out and pulled Ci Ke forward a bit, avoiding the flute player who was lost in the music.
Taking advantage of the fact that no one was looking, Ci Ke slipped into Ye Youqing’s embrace, her arms loosely wrapped around Ye Youqing’s waist. She rubbed her chin under Ye Youqing’s shoulder, then looked up.
Those charming eyes were open, making it impossible for anyone to be angry.
“Give me a little more time, alright?” Ci Ke said softly.
Ye Youqing, almost losing herself to Ci Ke’s actions, managed to steady herself with just a cough, suppressing the smile that nearly appeared on her lips.
She held the stone bridge railing behind her with her left hand, looking down expressionlessly, sighing with a hum.
After the procession passed, she pinched the back of Ci Ke’s collar and pulled her away. Ci Ke took a few steps back, her expression somewhat confused.
“Alright, there is naturally plenty of time,” Ye Youqing smiled at her, then walked alone into the crowded throng, leaving Ci Ke standing there. Ci Ke thought she had finally worn out Ye Youqing’s patience, stomped her foot in regret, and hurriedly lifted her skirt to catch up.
Along the way, Ye Youqing held back from speaking to Ci Ke, while Ci Ke, clutching her sleeve, quickly followed her footsteps, occasionally bringing up some dry topics.
The two of them walked strangely like this through the Imperial Street, turning into a quiet wide alley. The stone slabs in the alley were worn smooth from being stepped on, and a few unknown trees were planted by the roadside, blooming with clusters of small white flowers, emitting a faint fragrance.
Ye Youqing stopped in front of an ordinary door and reached out to knock on the courtyard gate. A coarse voice from inside responded, “Coming,” followed by the sound of shuffling footsteps, and the door was pulled open.
“Miss Ye!” The woman inside, dressed in plain clothes and holding a broom, was evidently sweeping the fallen flowers on the ground. She smiled and stepped aside, “Miss Ci Ke, please come in quickly!”
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This woman was precisely Ma Xiao. Ye Youqing was worried that an ordinary maid would not take good care of Zhou Ziqiu, so she had left Ma Xiao, who had come along with the chaotic army, in the capital. Being one of her own people, she felt somewhat more at ease.
“How is Aunt?” Ci Ke, who hadn’t seen Zhou Ziqiu for several days and was now worried, asked as she entered the door.
“With the weather getting warmer, her body isn’t catching cold as often, and her complexion has improved a bit. But her body is still weak, especially that strange ailment…” Ma Xiao closed the door behind them, paused, and then continued, “It hasn’t recovered.”
Ci Ke’s expression turned serious upon hearing this. She walked skillfully through the perfectly square courtyard and arrived at the door of the house, but did not dare enter. Instead, she bent her fingers and lightly knocked on the door.
The door opened from the inside, revealing Shi Li’s somewhat tired face. She glanced at Ci Ke, then turned back and softly said, “I will go out for a bit, it won’t take long.”
After quite a while, she finally stepped over the threshold, touched palms with Ye Youqing, and smiled wearily.
Although she was tired, there was a sense of relief in her eyes.
“Why have you come?” Shi Li wrapped her arm around Ci Ke’s shoulder and pushed her, who was looking back every few steps, into the sunlight. “If you had told me, I could have prepared some things.”
“What to prepare? Such formality,” Ye Youqing said with a faint smile. “Is she still the same?”
Shi Li’s expression was somewhat complicated as she rubbed her forehead and replied, “She still cannot remember anything, but she no longer has nightmares at night. Perhaps it is because I have been keeping her company these past few days, so she has relaxed quite a bit.”
Ye Youqing nodded. After that night, Zhou Ziqiu woke up in less than half a day, but as soon as she woke up, she stared blankly at the ceiling beam. No matter who called her, she wouldn’t respond, and if someone touched her, she would scream and retreat in fear.
It wasn’t until Shi Li returned from the restroom that she managed to calm her down. After careful questioning, they found that Zhou Ziqiu had forgotten most of the past events. She remembered who she was, who Shi Li was, and even the current year of the Qi Dynasty, but she had completely forgotten her experiences. If she tried to remember, it would cause her head to ache and tears to well up in her eyes.
Shi Li urgently called for the imperial physician, but no matter how thoroughly he examined her, he couldn’t find any clues. He only said it might be symptoms triggered by severe trauma and that she needed proper rest and care. Perhaps she might remember in the future.
Zhou Ziqiu would become nervous upon seeing people she did not remember. Even when she saw Ci Ke, it was the same. In the end, with no other choice, Shi Li had to take her out of the palace to live alone with her.
The warm sunlight of almost noon shone on the courtyard, and the fragrance of flowers wafted in. Shi Li scratched her head and said, “The sunshine is nice today, and she has calmed down a lot. Why don’t we take her out for some fresh air?”
Ci Ke quickly nodded in agreement.
Upon hearing this, Ma Xiao brought a wooden table from the side room and placed it in the courtyard, then set up Zhou Ziqiu’s favorite rocking chair. Shi Li went back inside to persuade Zhou Ziqiu, and after an entire incense stick’s worth of time, she half-coaxed and half-forced her outside.
The woman’s pale skin, dulled from confinement, was somewhat blinding under the sunlight. She no longer wore the luxurious garments of the palace, but a simple light ivory silk robe. Her slender waist was unadorned, and her hair was loosely tied with a silk ribbon behind her. However, her complexion was indeed much rosier, and she had regained some of her former beauty.
She instinctively stepped back after making eye contact with Ye Youqing, reaching out to hold Shi Li’s hand.
Ye Youqing, fearing she might scare her, quickly shifted her gaze to the sky.
“Don’t be afraid, this is my disciple Xiaoqing. She is not a bad person,” Shi Li comforted her in a gentle tone, allowing Zhou Ziqiu to hold her hand as she led her to the rocking chair.
Although Zhou Ziqiu had forgotten most things, her inherent nobility remained. She lowered her phoenix eyes and nodded towards Ye Youqing, then sat down straight-backed before slowly leaning into the soft rocking chair.
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The wind lifted the strands of hair on her forehead. Zhou Ziqiu’s hand never let go of Shi Li’s, as if this brought her peace, and Shi Li didn’t feel tired. She picked up a small stool, bent her legs to sit, letting one hand be held by Zhou Ziqiu while the other hand gently rocked the edge of the chair.
This scene was naturally harmonious. After watching for a long time, it blended with the moss-covered wall behind, like a meticulously painted traditional Chinese painting.
Ye Youqing and Ci Ke did not make a sound, quietly watching the sunlight pass by in an instant, and the shadows of the trees move forward.
Until a magpie flew overhead, the flapping of its wings startled Zhou Ziqiu. The woman immediately stood up and blurted out, “Xiaoshi…”
Shi Li was not flustered, extending her hand for Zhou Ziqiu to hold. Only after she stood up did she embrace her, gently patting her back to soothe her.
One could tell how much the woman now relied on Shi Li, as she never let go of Shi Li’s hand from beginning to end. This was an instinctive acceptance and dependence of the body, unrelated to memory or reason.
Shi Li smiled apologetically at Ye Youqing and Ci Ke: “She is now very easily startled, and the time is almost up. I will first take her inside.”
“No problem, Ci Ke has been worried, which is why we came to visit. Since she is recovering well, we are also relieved.” Ye Youqing stood up, “You accompany her, we will take our leave.”
Watching Shi Li lead the person inside, only then did Ye Youqing and Ci Ke leave the small courtyard and rejoin the crowd.
“Zhou Ziqiu’s condition is quite good now, what are you still worried about?” Ye Youqing asked as she noticed Ci Ke hadn’t spoken all the way.
“I am not worried, just feeling sorry for Aunt.” Ci Ke sighed as she stepped over a broken stone brick.
“But I think for her, this might not be a kind of relief.” Ye Youqing spoke half sincerely and half comfortingly, “If she were still filled with sorrow like before, how could her body recover so quickly?”
Ci Ke responded with a hum, but still seemed to be thinking about something. The two did not speak again and walked side by side to the entrance of the Zhou residence, where the guards on both sides stepped forward to open the door.
Only then did Ye Youqing remember that she was supposed to be angry, so she withdrew her smile and said with a wooden face, “Go in.”
Seeing her cold attitude, Ci Ke’s eyes drooped. She turned around, then turned back, and placed her hand into Ye Youqing’s palm, “Ah You…”
Ye Youqing clicked her tongue and said with her head down, “I told you not to call me that.”
Ci Ke then changed her tone, sounding pitiful: “Ye Youqing, you also said that no one should be angry, so why are you breaking your own word?”
“I am not angry,” Ye Youqing argued, “I haven’t even said a few words.”
Ci Ke bit her lower lip and pushed her sadly: “Then you should leave.”
Ye Youqing responded with an “oh,” but just as she turned around, she heard a light cry behind her. She helplessly turned back and reached out to steady Ci Ke, who had almost twisted her ankle on the steps.
Ci Ke, feeling wronged, shook off her hand.
“Alright.” Ye Youqing took a step forward, “You use this trick every time and never change to something new.”
“As long as it works.” Ci Ke said while waiting for Ye Youqing to soften, supporting her arms and lifting her down the steps.
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“Alright, go back, I am not angry. If you want me to wait, I will wait until you are ready. Then I will go and talk to my mother, how about that?” Ye Youqing stopped teasing her and pinched her tender cheek.
Ye Youqing was busy handling matters and soon left, but Ci Ke did not go inside. Instead, she watched Ye Youqing leave, her fox-like eyes narrowing, and said to the guards who were looking around nervously, “You, go find someone for me.”
Ye Youqing busied herself for half a day, until it was late at night. After the moon had risen high into the sky, she stepped on the ground covered with white frost and walked out of the palace. She did not go directly back to her residence but carried two boxes of pastries brought from the palace and walked towards the Zhou residence.
She remembered that Ci Ke loved sweets, so she wanted to bring her some. On the way, she felt that it was not enough and found a shop to pack a jar of fruit wine. Carrying large and small bags, she went to find Ci Ke.
The Zhou residence was very quiet. Zhou Hong was reading by lamp in the study. Ye Youqing bypassed the study and silently came to the door of Ci Ke’s room. Inside, a dim candlelight was lit, and the orange-yellow light shone through the open window crack.
The window was of the bedroom. Ye Youqing suddenly felt playful, wanting to give her a surprise, so she did not use the door but planned to climb in through the window.
To prevent the food from spilling, she hung one of the food boxes around her neck, held the other in her hand, and bit the wine jug with her teeth, lightly stepping onto the window sill.
However, just as she stretched one leg inside, the bedroom door suddenly opened. Standing with Ci Ke was Zhao Qingrou. Both of them gasped in shock when they saw Ye Youqing.
Ye Youqing, carrying all the things, could not dodge in time and was caught in this awkward position, completely unprepared.
