I’m Afraid of Losing You
I Will Cherish You Even More
Uncle Yuan looked at Luo Ke, and after a long moment, he burst out laughing.
“What are you thinking?” Uncle Yuan asked as he raised a hand to pour tea. “That boy, Yuan Mo, just isn’t up to snuff. There are no friends in the business world; it’s perfectly normal for companies to swallow each other up. You don’t need to feel burdened by it.”
He laughed heartily as he spoke.
Lin Sifei glanced at his face, seeing that he truly wasn’t angry.
Are all business people this strange?
Lin Sifei pulled her foot back and stared at Uncle Yuan, shrinking back into Luo Ke’s arms.
Uncle Yuan roared with laughter at her actions. “This cat you’ve raised is really interesting. She even knows how to protect her owner.”
Luo Ke stroked Lin Sifei’s back, a hint of a smile in her eyes. “She and I have a very deep bond.”
“I’m sure Uncle Yuan didn’t ask me here just for tea. Since it’s not about the company, this junior1 really can’t guess the reason.”
Luo Ke nodded humbly. Aside from the lack of expression on her face, she really looked no different from an ordinary junior.
Uncle Yuan looked at her and sighed inwardly. Luo Ke’s father and mother were both people who loved to smile, and as a child, Luo Ke herself would greet everyone with a cheerful grin.
He was lost in thought for a moment before smiling again. “You can’t guess this?” he teased.
“I really can’t.”
Uncle Yuan cleared his throat twice. “Actually, your mother and my wife were pregnant around the same time.”
With that one sentence, Luo Ke understood. This was a baby betrothal2.
“We said it while you were still in the womb. When you two grew up, why not just get together? It would be a continuation of the bond between our generation,” Uncle Yuan said, resting his palms on his knees, feeling a bit emotional. “In a flash, you’ve all grown up so much.”
“A baby betrothal. It’s not really possible to fulfill that now,” Luo Ke said, raising an eyebrow slightly.
Uncle Yuan made a ze sound. “Perhaps you two could try spending some more time together.”
“President Yuan and I aren’t very suitable for each other,” Luo Ke refused directly.
“What’s not suitable?”
“Every aspect.” Luo Ke lifted the teacup in her hand and took two sips. “Mm, the taste is a bit strange.”
“I think so too. A terrible taste.” Uncle Yuan laughed loudly and put down his teacup. “But you, you’re just as frank as your dad. You’re not afraid of offending people.”
“But from my perspective, that boy really isn’t good enough for you.”
“Uncle, why would you say that? President Yuan is a person of fine appearance and talent3, and he’s successful in his career. The line of people who like him is probably a mile long.”
“I just don’t know if they like him or his money.” Uncle Yuan sighed with a troubled expression. “That girl he was with before, you’ve probably met her.”
Luo Ke nodded. She knew he was talking about Yan Yafei. The rift between father and son over her had been a hot topic in business circles, and many people wanted to take the opportunity to get a cup of the stew4.
“What do you think of her?” Uncle Yuan leaned forward.
“To be honest, I don’t think much of her.” Luo Ke raised an eyebrow, thought for a moment, and continued, “On the surface, this person seems extremely innocent, but the scheming she hides is probably significant. In just a few days, she had Yuan Mo wrapped around her finger and got quite a few benefits from him. I hear she has now successfully entered the entertainment circle.”
Uncle Yuan snorted twice. “That’s because that boy is stupid. He believed her after just a few words. He insisted on liking her, and he wouldn’t listen no matter how I tried to persuade him. This time, he’s learned a lesson.”
“Are you going to take back control of the company?”
“Of course.”
“Then the reason you called me here today was actually to ask me to persuade him? If it’s for that, you don’t have to worry. President Yuan no longer has any ties to that girl.”
Luo Ke told him the whole story of how Yan Yafei had abused a cat and been discovered by Yuan Mo.
Uncle Yuan shook his head. “This could be considered a case of one cannot live with the sins of one’s own making5. But I’m still taking back control of the company. He needs to be punished.”
Luo Ke smiled slightly. This was the Yuan family’s business, and there was no need for her to get involved.
“Well, if there’s nothing else, I’ll be heading back.” Luo Ke got up to leave, but just as she stood, she was called back.
“Ai! Wait.” Uncle Yuan stood up and slapped his forehead. “I just remembered, I took a lot of photos back when I was building my career with your father. I figured your family probably doesn’t have many left, so you can take the ones I have here.”
Luo Ke turned back and looked at him. “Uncle, how would you know my family doesn’t have any photos?”
“I’ve known about your situation from the very beginning.” Uncle Yuan sighed and sat back down. “Your father mentioned it to me once, but after the accident happened, it wasn’t my place as an outsider to interfere. Speaking of which, I feel I really let your father down.”
Luo Ke pressed her lips together slightly, then said with a placid expression, “Uncle, you don’t need to blame yourself. It’s all in the past.”
Luo Ke took the photo album from the Auntie standing nearby, gave a slight nod, and held out her hand to Lin Sifei.
Lin Sifei leaped onto her shoulder, let out a miao, and nuzzled her cheek.
By the time they got home, it was already late. Luo Ke sat on the sofa with the album but didn’t open it, merely staring at the cover.
Lin Sifei squatted silently beside her, watching her.
The person and the cat sat as still as wax figures. Outside, the sun gradually set, and the evening glow shone through the window, casting a long shadow.
The sun was setting too quickly. The light in the room soon dimmed. Lin Sifei jumped up and slapped the switch for the living room light.
The light instantly illuminated the room. Luo Ke was startled for a second, then came back to her senses.
“Xiao Xiao, are you hungry?”
She got up to get Lin Sifei her cat food but was stopped.
Lin Sifei stood there, pawing at her skirt, and pointed a finger at the clock.
Luo Ke glanced at it and smiled, patting her head. “I forgot. It’s time.”
She bent down, lifted Lin Sifei up, and gave her a light kiss on the lips.
With a peng6, Lin Sifei threw her arms around her neck and kissed her on the cheek. “You go sit at the dining table. I’ll bring you the food.”
Luo Ke didn’t refuse today, sitting down in the chair with a somewhat listless expression. Her gaze fell involuntarily on the dining table not far away, where she saw the album.
Lin Sifei came out carrying the dishes and followed her gaze to the album.
She took a deep breath and placed the food on the table with a smile. “Time to eat!”
Luo Ke was startled back to the present. She looked at the food in front of her, smiled, and picked up her chopsticks.
“All of today’s dishes are your favorites,” Lin Sifei said, picking up a small lamb chop for her.
“What do you want to eat? I’ll have Auntie make it for you.”
Lin Sifei wrinkled her nose and pouted. “I thought you were going to say you’d make it for me.”
“I don’t know how to cook.” Luo Ke spread her hands and looked at her helplessly. “Otherwise, what do you want to eat? Name one thing, and I’ll go learn.”
Lin Sifei smiled. “I’m just kidding. Our President Luo makes millions a minute. With that kind of money, what can’t you eat?”
Luo Ke smiled but didn’t say anything.
After dinner, Lin Sifei pulled Luo Ke upstairs, almost with horse’s hooves not stopping7. “You’ve had a long day. Let’s hurry up and take a bath and rest.”
“Why are you in such a rush today?” Luo Ke hugged her from behind with a smile, her fingers sliding up her buttons from the bottom. “So impatient?”
Lin Sifei’s breath hitched. She scooped up some water from the bathtub and splashed it on her face. “What kind of thoughts are you having? You really need a good washing.”
“I didn’t say anything. Who’s the one with the dirty mind?” Luo Ke retorted, raising an eyebrow.
Fuming, Lin Sifei frantically scooped up water and splashed it on her. Luo Ke’s injured hand was wrapped in fresh-keeping film, so she wasn’t afraid of the water and splashed back.
Lin Sifei laughed heartily and grabbed her. “Alright, alright, you’d better surrender. If you slip later, be careful not to end up with another broken leg.”
“Why don’t you surrender?” Luo Ke reached out and pinched her cheek. “Fine. To prevent our little Xiao Xiao from breaking another leg, we’ll call a temporary truce.”
Lin Sifei helped her undress and settled her into the bathtub, keeping both of her hands outside.
She looked down at the skin near her cast. “President Luo, is it getting dirty here? It looks kind of dark.”
Luo Ke looked and saw that it was true. She raised her hand in embarrassment, trying to hide it. “Do you want to wash with me?”
“Don’t be shy.” Lin Sifei giggled, pulling her arm back. “This is totally normal. I recently got a recommendation and bought a northerner’s bath-rubbing towel8! It’s the perfect time to use it.”
“A bath-rubbing towel? Isn’t that…” Luo Ke pointed to the loofah hanging on the wall.
“Not that. It’s a piece of cloth.” Unable to describe it clearly, Lin Sifei stood up. “Wait here. The package just arrived a couple of days ago, and I left it downstairs. I’ll go get it.”
Luo Ke reached out to stop her, but she was too fast and vanished in a flash.
She pressed her forehead in resignation and waited for her to come back up.
Lin Sifei ran downstairs, found the bath-rubbing towel, and happily brought it up. As she passed the coffee table, she saw the album lying there. She hesitated for a moment, then reached out and picked it up.
She set the album on the bedside table, then slipped into the bathroom with the bath-rubbing towel. “Ta-da, this is it.”
Luo Ke looked at the green and pink cloths in her hand, frowning slightly. She took one to examine it. “This kind of cloth is so coarse. Won’t it hurt a lot?”
“It might, I guess.” Lin Sifei had never used one either. She slipped it on her hand curiously and tried rubbing her arm a couple of times. “Ow, that hurts!”
Luo Ke saw her arm turning red. “Could it be that only northerners can use this?”
“I don’t think so. We’re all human, what’s the difference?” Lin Sifei puffed up her cheeks and picked up her phone. “I’ll ask.”
Luo Ke leaned against the edge of the tub, watching her type with a frown, and couldn’t help but laugh. “Maybe it’s because you’re a cat.”
Lin Sifei’s message hadn’t been answered yet. Hearing that, she put down her phone, picked up the bath-rubbing towel again, slipped it on, and gave Luo Ke’s upper arm a swift rub.
Luo Ke also flinched in pain. “We should just throw this thing away. It’s like scraping off skin.”
Lin Sifei looked at the bath-rubbing towel, a little defeated. She had heard it was a miracle bath tool.
Her phone vibrated with a weng weng. Lin Sifei picked it up and saw two voice messages from Chen Qiyuan. She tapped to play them out loud.
“Am I seeing this right? Is that bath-rubbing towel dry? You just rubbed with it dry?!”
Lin Sifei glanced at the bath-rubbing towel as the phone automatically played the second message.
“Hahahahaha, someone actually used it dry. Live long enough and you’ll see everything9.”
Realizing she had made a silly mistake, Lin Sifei replied indignantly, 【Why didn’t you explain it clearly?】
She placed her phone face down, put the bath-rubbing towel on her hand, and dipped it in the water. She swished it around a couple of times and then lifted it out.
“Luo Ke, it should be fine now. Come on, let’s try.”
Remembering the pain from before, Luo Ke shrank back. “Let’s just wait until my cast is off. Besides, this arm is all scabs, so it’s not good for washing anyway.”
Lin Sifei looked at her two injured arms, thought for a moment, and nodded seriously. She wrung out the bath-rubbing towel and put it back.
Luo Ke let out a long breath. At the very least, she didn’t want to add a layer of scrapes on top of her broken hand.
Lin Sifei hummed softly and stood up to take off her clothes.
Luo Ke tilted her head slightly, an eyebrow raised in an amused expression. “Are you…”
“Don’t get the wrong idea, you certain president with an impure mind.” Lin Sifei turned on the shower. “I just want to finish washing up sooner.”
Luo Ke watched her. The warm water fell from above, hitting her skin, bouncing off, and landing on her body again. The stream of water was like a clear spring in the mountains, gliding over steep peaks before falling to the ground.
Luo Ke’s hand resting on the edge of the tub couldn’t help but move. She stood up from the bathtub.
Lin Sifei closed her eyes, letting the water wash over her face.
“Am I tired?” Lin Sifei lay in bed, her fingers tapping restlessly on Luo Ke’s shoulder.
Luo Ke pinched her cheek. “Are you hinting that I should continue?”
“Of course not.” Lin Sifei shot up and switched on the main bedroom light.
Luo Ke raised a hand to shield her eyes. “Why’d you turn on the light?”
Once her eyes adjusted, she moved her hand and saw Lin Sifei sitting beside her, holding the photo album.
Luo Ke’s breath caught in her throat. She turned her head away and sat up as well. “When did you bring that up?”
“Just now, when I went downstairs to get the bath-rubbing towel.” Lin Sifei placed the album on her lap and scooted closer. “We can look at it together.”
Luo Ke’s gaze shifted from her face to the album, then she closed her eyes and turned her head away.
Lin Sifei saw her obvious resistance and pressed her lips together. Luo Ke was someone who was good at hiding her emotions. Her current behavior was a clear expression of her refusal.
But she wouldn’t refuse her with words.
Lin Sifei reached out, cupped her face, and leaned in to kiss her on the lips. “You don’t want to look?”
Luo Ke’s eyelashes trembled. “I can’t accept it. I can’t look at how they used to be.”
“I remember, you have a photo of all of you on your office desk.”
“That photo… it took me nearly twenty years to accept it,” Luo Ke said, looking into Lin Sifei’s eyes.
Lin Sifei’s hands slid from her cheeks to her neck, and she hugged her tightly. “I’m here.”
Luo Ke rested her forehead on her shoulder.
Lin Sifei stroked her hair, her eyes downcast. She had oversimplified the trauma Luo Ke had suffered. She thought it was just a simple car accident, as described in the book, but now it seemed that wasn’t the case at all.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have made you sad.”
“Don’t apologize. This is my problem.” Luo Ke released her, forced a relaxed smile, and patted her shoulder.
Lin Sifei gripped the edge of the album, opened a drawer, and put it inside. “If it makes you sad, then we’ll put it away. We can take it out again when you’re ready to accept it.”
“Okay,” Luo Ke smiled.
Lin Sifei and she lay down side by side on the bed. Under the covers, their hands found each other, fingers intertwined.
“I’ll always be here, by your side.”
Luo Ke smiled as she lay in bed and gave her a kiss. “Good night.”
“Sweet dreams,” Lin Sifei said, closing her eyes.
Luo Ke lay there, her eyes darting around before opening. It was completely dark. She raised her hand, fumbling forward.
A soft hand grasped hers, and a sliver of light appeared.
“Xiao Ke? Are you awake?”
Luo Ke followed the hand up and saw a woman’s face. “Mother.”
“Hm?” Luo Ke’s mother reached out to stroke her hair, then took a bottle out of the bag beside her. “Want some yogurt?”
“I don’t want any.” Luo Ke’s mother smiled, put it back, and pinched her cheek. “Still groggy from sleep?”
“She must be. She slept for more than ten hours today,” Luo Ke’s father complained from the driver’s seat. “I said we should have woken her up earlier.”
“What do you know?” Luo Ke’s mother shot him a glare and straightened Luo Ke’s collar.
“Father? Mother?” Luo Ke murmured.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Luo Ke smiled at them and looked out the window.
Luo Ke touched her own face, looked at her hands, and then suddenly threw herself into her mother’s arms.
Luo Ke’s mother laughed. “Oh my, why are you suddenly being so clingy?”
Luo Ke pulled away from her embrace and looked at her surroundings. She saw through the car window that they were on a winding mountain road. A sudden clap of thunder echoed across the sky, and a bolt of purple lightning flashed like a demon’s smile.
“Father! Stop the car, turn back!”
Luo Ke’s father laughed heartily. “Is Xiao Ke scared of the thunder? It’s okay, see? The lightning is far away from us.”
“Stop driving, Father!” Luo Ke’s father was still laughing.
A blinding light suddenly shone in Luo Ke’s face, and she reflexively shut her eyes.
“Xiao Ke!” Luo Ke’s mother threw herself on top of Luo Ke.
A sharp pain shot through her. Luo Ke’s vision went black. Blood flowed down and into her mouth, filling it with a salty, metallic taste.
“What do we do? Let’s save them first.”
“The driver’s seat is completely crushed. How could anyone have survived?”
“There are still people in the back seat, two of them.”
“We can’t get them out. Let’s… let’s run.”
The sound of thunder, rain, and human voices all mixed together, vibrating against Luo Ke’s eardrums.
She slowly opened her eyes. Logic was pounding in her head. Don’t open your eyes, don’t open your eyes…
She opened them anyway. Her gaze fell upon her mother’s blood-soaked arm. Through a gap, she saw half of her father’s head twisted around, staring straight at her.
“Xiao Ke, get out, quickly,” Luo Ke’s mother said, struggling to prop herself up.
The truck on the road let out a creaking warning. In the rainy weather, the truck pressing down on the small car was slowly sliding downhill on the winding mountain road.
Luo Ke’s mother’s head was covered in blood. She urged Luo Ke to climb out from under her.
Blood flowed over her eyes, obscuring her vision. Luo Ke wiped it away, grabbed the safety hammer from inside the car, and began smashing the car window like a madwoman.
The dull thuds hammered against her heart. Behind her, her mother’s voice kept urging, “Go, quickly, go.”
“I’ll save you, Mother, I’ll save you.” The tears and blood on Luo Ke’s face mixed together, dripping down from her chin.
At some point, she was no longer a child. She was an adult, dressed in professional attire, still hammering at the car window.
But it was all in vain. She couldn’t break that window, and the voice of her mother behind her grew fainter and fainter.
Luo Ke lowered her hands and slowly turned around. She saw her dead mother leaning back against the seat, a piece of metal piercing through her chest.
“Mother…” Luo Ke reached out, trying to plug the wound. “I’ll save you, I’ll save you.”
She started performing heart-lung resuscitation10. “I’ll save you.”
Suddenly, the corpse’s hand shot up and grabbed her arm. “Luo Ke… Luo Ke…”
She looked up. The corpse’s face had become Lin Sifei’s, and she could clearly see blood gushing from her head.
“Xiao Xiao! It’s okay, it’s okay.”
Lin Sifei looked at her, her hand reaching for her face.
“Luo Ke!”
Luo Ke gasped sharply, like a drowning person breaking the surface of the water. “Ke ke!“
She began to cough violently.
Lin Sifei helped her up, patting her on the back. “Did you have a nightmare?”
Luo Ke turned her head and looked at Lin Sifei beside her. She glanced around the room. Everything was just as it had been before she fell asleep. No car crash, no blood, no death.
“Did you have a nightmare? You’re sweating so much.” Lin Sifei pulled out a tissue to wipe her sweat. “Looks like you’ll have to take another bath.”
Lin Sifei smiled and gave her a kiss, then pouted in disgust and wiped her own lips with the tissue. “Salty.”
Luo Ke’s heart gradually calmed down. She looked at Lin Sifei’s playful expression and couldn’t help but laugh.
Seeing her smile, Lin Sifei felt a wave of relief. “I’ll go run the bathwater for you.”
“Thank you.”
Just as Luo Ke spoke, a loud hong long sound came from outside. With the thunder, a torrential rain began pouring down as if from an overturned basin11.
Luo Ke’s lips trembled. She shot out a hand and grabbed Lin Sifei, who was getting out of bed.
Lin Sifei tumbled back into the bed, rubbing her side complainingly. “Ouch, that hurt. What are you doing?”
She looked up and saw Luo Ke, her lips deathly pale.
Lin Sifei was shocked and quickly hugged her. “Luo Ke, what’s wrong? I’ll call a doctor, don’t be scared.”
Lin Sifei’s voice was trembling as she hurriedly reached for her phone.
Luo Ke pulled her back, holding her tight.
“Luo Ke?” Lin Sifei struggled for a moment, wanting to make the call.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.” Luo Ke took a deep breath and wrapped them both up in the blanket.
She held her tightly. “I’m fine. Just let me hold you. This is enough.”
“Holding me is enough?” Lin Sifei reached out and hugged her back.
Luo Ke buried her head in her neck, inhaling her scent. The tangible feeling of reality returned to her grasp.
“I had a nightmare. A very, very real nightmare,” Luo Ke said, swallowing hard.
Lin Sifei held her tightly in silence, being a quiet listener.
“I dreamed I went back to that day. I dreamed of how they died. I couldn’t save them. I watched them walk towards death, and I couldn’t do anything.”
Lin Sifei closed her eyes and hugged her. “You were still too young. You were just a child.”
“I saw you. I was so scared. I was afraid I couldn’t save you.”
Lin Sifei’s brow furrowed slightly. She looked up at Luo Ke and reached out to touch her face. As expected, it was wet.
She buried her face in Luo Ke’s chest again and held her. “You don’t need to save me. I’m an adult too, and I’m responsible for myself. I cherish my life, I know how to avoid risks, and I want to live a long life to a hundred years, and be with you.”
“But accidents can always happen…”
Lin Sifei raised a hand to cover her mouth. “Accidents happen every day, but most people live safely to old age. There’s no reason for us to be in the minority.”
“Besides, both you and I have already been through so much misfortune. Whether you look at it from a theological or a probabilistic perspective, luck should be on our side now.”
Luo Ke fell silent. After a long while, she said, “I’m afraid of losing you.”
“Me too,” Lin Sifei whispered, kissing her chin. “So, I will cherish you even more.”
The author has something to say:
I’m back, lying flat. Thank you for the support, I’ve seen it all, I’m touched. I’ll steady myself and keep working hard.
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