The Kitty Conquers the World
There’s a price to pay for laughing at a kitty
After a full day of work at the company, Lin Sifei was anxious to death. Before quitting time had even arrived, she was already up and pacing back and forth on Luo Ke’s desk, preventing her from continuing her work.
The moment Luo Ke started to pack up, she squatted in front of the clock, glancing at the second hand, then at Luo Ke.
Her stare made Luo Ke feel so pressured that she packed up twice as fast.
“Xiao Xiao, stop staring, I’m all packed.” She lifted her briefcase and gave it a little shake.
Lin Sifei immediately whipped her head around and leaped in front of her, happily treading on her arm and pawing at her shoulder. “Meow!” Let’s go!
Quitting time coincided with the evening rush hour, and the human and cat were stuck on the road.
One moment, Lin Sifei would stick her head out to look at the long line of cars ahead; the next, she’d look at the time on the car’s clock. How long were they going to be stuck? If she missed the window, would she be unable to change back again?
“Don’t worry, we still have time.” Luo Ke estimated, “Yesterday, we had to wait for the food to be served and ate for a while. You didn’t turn into a person until around seven o’clock, so we can make it.”
Lin Sifei continued to spin in circles on the seat anxiously.
Luo Ke pulled her into her arms, stroking her back. When she lifted her hand, it was full of fur.
She fell silent for a moment, then began to worry: Cats shed. When she turns back into a human, she won’t be bald, will she?
She glanced at Lin Sifei, who had finally calmed down a little, and silently swallowed her speculation. Bald or not, she couldn’t let Lin Sifei know she was shedding. The worst-case scenario was that she’d just switch all the shampoo at home to Bawang1.
Amidst Lin Sifei’s anxious waiting, Luo Ke’s car finally broke free from the congested section of the road. From then on, it was all green lights to the restaurant’s entrance.
“We have plenty of time. See, you believe me now, right? I wouldn’t lie to you.” Luo Ke jiggled her paws and picked her up.
Lin Sifei turned her head and huffed. She was just being reasonably anxious; this was a big deal, after all.
“We’ll take the private room I booked yesterday.” Luo Ke showed her membership card to the waitress.
The waitress went to the front desk to scan it, then walked back with a troubled expression. “I’m sorry, Miss Luo, but this private room has already been booked.”
“Who booked it?”
“I apologize, but that involves private information that we cannot provide.”
Luo Ke’s brow furrowed slightly. This restaurant was able to do business with rising wind and surging water2; on one hand, the food was excellent, and on the other, the owner had some background. In his restaurant, everything was done by the book, with responsibilities and obligations clearly defined. It was for this very reason that many business dinners were held here.
“I only need the room for half an hour to an hour. If the other party is here for a dinner meeting, they probably won’t arrive this early. Please go and negotiate with your boss. I need to use this private room.”
This was, in fact, against the rules. According to the rules, employees were only supposed to do their own jobs and ignore everything else.
But she looked at the VIP card in her hand. It was one of the restaurant’s very first batch of cards, the kind that only people very close to the owner could get, specifically for gifting to friends and family.
She took a deep breath, smiled, and bowed. “Then please wait a moment, I will go ask our manager.”
“Okay.” Luo Ke scanned the main hall and sat down by the pond.
Fish of all sizes swam slowly in the pond, and there was even fish food placed by the edge. Luo Ke picked up a pinch and scattered some to pass the time. Soon, fish began to gather.
Lin Sifei squatted on her lap, looking down at the fish swimming back and forth in the pond, her claws itching to move3.
Restrain yourself, restrain yourself. Fishing in front of everyone, what a bad impression that would make!
She stared at the fish, breathing deeply over and over.
Luo Ke was also watching the fish and didn’t notice her arduous struggle. She tossed in some more fish food, and more and more fish gathered.
Suddenly, a large fish charged in from the side, pushing the other fish away and opening its mouth to eat the food.
Lin Sifei’s cat pupils abruptly widened, becoming perfect circles. What a fat fish!
The thought flashed through her mind, and she pounced. Her paw swiped through the air, and with a thwack, the fish landed on the floor with a crisp smack.
Lin Sifei stared at her slightly wet paw, stunned.
Slap, slap, slap! She was only stunned for a moment before the sound of the fish’s wildly flapping tail and the splashing water snapped her back to her senses.
The sound of the tail hitting the floor attracted the gazes of those nearby. Lin Sifei’s idol baggage4 instantly kicked in. She leaped onto the fish and pinned it down to stop it from flopping around. This was so embarrassing!
“President Luo, you’re really living your life in reverse. What’s the matter? Is your company finally going bankrupt? Bringing a cat to my place to catch fish to eat?”
Hearing his swinging and dangling5, mouth-and-teeth-not-clear6 words, Lin Sifei’s whole body broke out in chicken skin bumps7. As someone who had professionally trained in diction, she really wanted to straighten his tongue out for him before he spoke.
Faced with his yin-yang strange air8, Luo Ke’s expression remained unchanged. “Boss Fang, long time no see.”
“It has been a while.” This Boss Fang huffed twice, flipping the membership card over in his hand. “I thought President Luo would never step foot in my restaurant again.”
“Why would you think that?” Luo Ke beckoned to Lin Sifei and scooped her into her arms. “Is it because I rejected your confession before?”
Boss Fang’s suave movements instantly froze. He glared at her, flustered, his face red and neck thick9. “FUCK! WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THAT UP?!”
“Because I think that’s the reason you get angry the moment you see me now,” Luo Ke analyzed calmly.
“YOU KNOW I’M ANGRY AND YOU STILL CAME! ARE YOU DELIBERATELY LOOKING FOR TROUBLE?!” Boss Fang was incandescent with rage. With a wave of his hand, a group of security guards in black short-sleeved shirts surrounded them, each looking like a fierce god and evil spirit10.
Lin Sifei shrank into Luo Ke’s arms, hiding the phone under her belly. The numbers 110 were already on the screen, just one press away from dialing. She felt that the current situation desperately needed some police uncles to come out and sweep black, eliminate evil11.
Luo Ke glanced at the group and shook her head. “I only came because your restaurant’s food is delicious, and the cat can eat it too.”
As she spoke, she lifted Lin Sifei up to face Boss Fang.
Lin Sifei’s eyes widened as she met the gaze of the delinquent-like airplane head12 in front of her, her paws trembling. President Luo, what’s wrong with you? Instead of protecting me at a time like this, you’re pushing me to the front line. Is this something a human would do?
“You!” Boss Fang’s face darkened further as he jabbed a finger violently at Lin Sifei.
Lin Sifei flinched in fear, her eyes misting over as she let out a nervous “Meow.”
Boss Fang gritted his teeth and continued to glare at Lin Sifei. Lin Sifei continued to “meow, meow.”
Luo Ke raised an eyebrow. “I need to use that private room. I won’t touch anything. Half an hour should be enough.” She gave the cat in her hands a little shake. “For this little thing.”
Boss Fang’s face twisted. He rotated his elbow clockwise, pointing his index finger down the hallway. He sighed heavily. “Aigh! Go on. Just this once. Don’t you dare step foot in my restaurant again!”
“WHAT IF THE CAT WANTS TO EAT HERE?!”
“CAN’T YOU ORDER TAKEOUT?!” Boss Fang stormed off in a huff.
Luo Ke raised an eyebrow, walked into the private room, gave the waitress a polite nod, and closed the door.
She checked that all the curtains in the room were drawn, took the clothes out of her bag, took a deep breath, and picked up the cat.
“So, I kiss you now?”
Lin Sifei squeezed her eyes shut and nodded forcefully.
Luo Ke kissed her. Nothing happened.
Lin Sifei waved her paws around in a panic. Luo Ke carried her to the table, trying to perfectly recreate the original scene.
“I was sitting here, and I was about to feed you something, and you leaned over…”
Lin Sifei furiously typed, “It was you who leaned over!”
“Then let’s try both.” Racing against time, Luo Ke ducked her head and planted a quick kiss on her face. No reaction.
She raised an eyebrow. “See? You kissed me.”
Lin Sifei lifted her head and kissed her. Same result. Still no reaction.
Lin Sifei felt like she’d been tricked. Her fluffy paws hammered wildly against Luo Ke’s thigh.
Her blows were too weak, so Luo Ke just treated it as a leg massage, which was a nice way to relax her leg muscles after a day in high heels.
While Lin Sifei was earnestly giving a massage—no, earnestly beating someone up—Luo Ke lifted her hand to check her watch. “You turned human around seven o’clock yesterday. This morning, I got up late, so I can’t be sure of the exact time you turned into a cat, but it was before nine. You’ve remained a cat ever since.”
She lowered her head. “Could it be a matter of duration? If you turned back into a cat at seven in the morning, then it would be exactly twelve hours until this time. The duration you stay as a cat might also be twelve hours.”
Hearing this, Lin Sifei thought it made some sense. She pawed at Luo Ke’s wrist to look at the watch. Ten minutes until seven.
Just in case, Luo Ke added, “We can try a few more times. The time you turned human yesterday wasn’t precise.”
Lin Sifei nodded, closed her eyes, tilted her head up, and waited for Luo Ke to kiss her.
Luo Ke looked at her kiss-soliciting posture. Although it was a fluffy and cute cat face, she could imagine Lin Sifei’s human expression: lips slightly pouted, the corners of her eyes downturned, her brow furrowed with a hint of nervous tension, her face a canvas of worry and grievance. It was a look that could soften anyone’s heart.
Luo Ke brushed away a stray lock of hair that had fallen across her forehead and leaned down to press a kiss to her lips. The familiar feeling made her eyes snap open.
A white mist surged up, obscuring the cat in the midst of its transformation. Then, a current of air burst out from the center of the dense fog, instantly dispersing it and revealing the woman within.
The airflow vanished, and Lin Sifei’s long hair fell down, cascading over her shoulders and back. She stared wide-eyed at Luo Ke, then let out an excited cry and leaped up, throwing herself at her.
“I’ve changed back! Hahaha!”
Luo Ke grabbed her legs, afraid she would fall. Lin Sifei happily cupped her face and planted a loud kiss on her cheek.
Luo Ke tilted her head back, staring at the ceiling. “You should put on some clothes first.”
Only then did Lin Sifei realize. Swoosh—she crossed her arms over her body and jumped off her.
Luo Ke took a breath, picked up the bag beside her, and handed her the clothes.
Lin Sifei quickly got dressed, flicked her hair back, and bounced in front of her. “All done! Let’s go. I think you might be right about the 12-hour system. We can test it again when we get back.”
Luo Ke’s brow furrowed as she looked at her. “We just caused a huge scene to get in here. One person and one cat came in, but two people are leaving. How do you plan to explain that?”
Lin Sifei was dumbstruck, grabbing her hair. “Right! How am I supposed to get out of here?!”
Luo Ke pinched her chin, thinking. “Try changing back into a cat.”
“With a kiss?” Lin Sifei blinked, puckered her lips, and leaned toward her.
The tips of Luo Ke’s ears turned slightly red. She kissed her on the lips, but she didn’t change back.
Lin Sifei started anxiously pulling at her hair again, pacing in circles around the dining table.
Luo Ke looked at her long hair, remembered the fur she had stroked off earlier, and worried again. She won’t really go bald, will she? Maybe I should give her a heads-up?
As her thoughts began to stray, she heard a “peng” sound. Lin Sifei, who had just been by the table, was gone.
She rushed over and saw clothes scattered on the floor. A cat was crawling out from the collar of a shirt, with Lin Sifei’s panties still hanging on its body.
Luo Ke took one look, couldn’t help but cover her mouth, and burst out laughing with a pfft.
Lin Sifei, furious with embarrassment, swiped a claw at her leg through her stockings, snagging them completely.
Hmph! This is the price for laughing at a kitty!
The author has something to say:
Feifei at this moment: Just a yellow-haired pompadour.
Feifei in the future: Speak! What is your relationship with that person surnamed Fang!
There will be another update at 9 PM to make up for the “more updates” I promised everyone. Thank you for your support.
While I’m at it, a little self-promotion: my Weibo is newly opened @书十一殊, everyone can click on my author page to add me to your favorites, and check my upcoming works to see if there’s anything you like.
This thank-you list is from 2 AM, so if you’re not on it, don’t panic. Your ID will appear tonight. Sending hearts!
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