After Transmigrating Into a Book, I Was Played by the Black Lotus – Chapter 85

To Use or Not to Use

The two people slowly calmed down, especially Bai Xiying. Compared to her state when she was just pulled into the room, she could now be described as peaceful.

Lin Xingzhu asked: “Are you still angry? Do you still think I am going to leave?”

Bai Xiying tilted her head up to look at the ceiling, and only spoke after a long while, “I’m not that angry anymore, I was just too scared. I just found out about your origin, and then discovered that there is another person in this world who comes from the same world as you, my mind is uncontrollably filled with thoughts that you might leave.”

Thinking of Wen Lin, Bai Xiying’s gaze was somewhat obscure: “Are there many people who know this novel’s plot?”

Seeing her ask about this, Lin Xingzhu answered thoughtfully: “Quite a few, but I think what we have seen might not be quite the same as what you have truly experienced.”

Bai Xiying’s eyes moved slightly, looking at her seriously: “How so?”

Lin Xingzhu said thoughtfully: “Just like in the novel plot I saw, Qiao Zijin, Mu Muqing, Xie Yunya… they would all have a relationship with you, but when the real you was experiencing the life that belongs to you, I think with your personality you probably would not be intimate with people you don’t like, right?”

“……”

After a long while, Bai Xiying suddenly smiled: “You are right.”

She very quickly thought it through: “So what the novel shows is just the story of a me with the same given name and surname, that is not the real me.”

She is who she is, even in her previous life where she could not break free from fate, she never casually compromised and submitted.

Lin Xingzhu said: “I also think this way, I have never treated the people and things in this world as paper people¹ and a simple plot. Clearly, everything that happens here has logic, every single person is real flesh and blood, the illusion that blurs reality simply does not exist.”

Bai Xiying suddenly became enlightened.

Lin Xingzhu held her hand and said seriously: “Don’t worry anymore that I will leave, I think that is an impossible thing.”

“And some things are not only what you will worry about, after hearing you say so much, won’t I also be afraid that when I open my eyes again, you will have returned to the past?”

Bai Xiying interrupted her: “Impossible.”

After she finished speaking, she saw Lin Xingzhu staring at her without saying a word.

After a long while, Lin Xingzhu finally spoke: “You see, you also think this way, so don’t scare yourself anymore.”

Bai Xiying bit her lip and nodded. Seeing that the atmosphere was good, she tentatively revealed a bit of the truth: “It’s not false that I said I was afraid you would leave, but actually I also had the thought of using this opportunity to expose all my secrets.”

Lin Xingzhu: “Hm?”

Bai Xiying pointed at the surroundings: “Here, actually, I discovered several times that you wanted to come here to look.”

Her thoughts having been exposed, Lin Xingzhu coughed, “You created such a mysterious room out of thin air, it would be false if I wasn’t curious, right.”

But she really had not expected that Bai Xiying’s long-hidden secret was actually setting up such a private room.

And as Lin Xingzhu looked at the various things inside, it was not hard to imagine how wildly Bai Xiying played here alone.

Bai Xiying let her look for a while before carefully asking: “You aren’t repulsed?”

“Hm?” Lin Xingzhu was a little confused: “What would I be repulsed by?”

Meeting Bai Xiying’s faintly apprehensive gaze, Lin Xingzhu finally reacted, holding her hand and saying softly: “This is your personal preference, I respect your preference, I won’t point fingers and gesture feet² at you.”

It was just that she thought of Bai Xiying’s days of insatiable demands, was silent for a moment, and then said: “It’s just that in the future, we really need to be a little more restrained.”

Bai Xiying: “……”

She made herself not think about the miserable days to come, and said with concentration: “I was worried you would think I am not normal, specially setting up such a room filled with things, what is it if not a sickness?”

Bai Xiying covered the mouth of Lin Xingzhu who wanted to explain, focusing on analyzing herself: “Just like what we just talked about, I have always been me, so in my previous life when those people wanted to shatter her spine, wanted to use drugs to make me submit, I was always resisting, I never gave up.”

“It’s just that as the number of times increased, my body was often in a state of not being able to get relief. I relied on tools to vent, and slowly the body seemed to develop an addictive nature.”

“And having a new life, my body is normal, but very quickly I discovered again that I still need them. It turns out in my previous life not only did my body become addicted, my psyche had also long since unknowingly become pathological. There was no way, so I set up such a room again.”

Finishing saying all this in one breath³, Bai Xiying stared at Lin Xingzhu without blinking, as if expecting something, but on closer look it seemed to be just a simple mutual gaze.

Lin Xingzhu looked into her eyes that seemed to not have a trace of haze, and thought of the things in this room.

Actually, she does not purely enjoy all this, Lin Xingzhu suddenly had this concept in her heart.

In the very beginning, Bai Xiying must have struggled, but later she perhaps discovered that struggling had no effect, so in order to reduce the harm to a minimum, she chose such a path.

Even if her current state looked like she was calmly accepting all this, Lin Xingzhu remained skeptical about it.

Her hand suddenly covered Bai Xiying’s left chest, the position closest to her heart.

Bai Xiying subconsciously stiffened for a moment, and then, seeming to realize what Lin Xingzhu wanted to do, she silently relaxed her body again.

“Listen to your heart, starting from the very beginning, the most authentic place, tell me, what do you want to do?”

Lin Xingzhu asked her.

Because she suddenly discovered that in Bai Xiying’s subconscious, the her who had seemingly convinced herself to accept it calmly was still struggling.

Otherwise, she would not have deliberately used this as a pretext, and after her emotional outburst, besides fearing that she would leave, also thought of pulling herself into such a secret place that she had hidden for two lifetimes, to uncover everything.

Lin Xingzhu said seriously: “I think you don’t have any problems, but I am not you, I have not had the exact same experiences as you, so I cannot truly feel as if I experienced it myself. But I want to tell you, Bai Xiying, no matter what kind of decision you make, I will choose to accompany you and support you.”

Is it to truly accept it calmly, or to choose to pick up that heart of struggle again?

No matter which one Bai Xiying chose, Lin Xingzhu would unswervingly choose only her.

A period of silence.

Bai Xiying tightly clenched the hand Lin Xingzhu had pressed against her, placed it by her face and rubbed it, then, under Lin Xingzhu’s tolerant gaze, buried herself in her embrace.

“You are so good, why did I not meet you earlier?”

If she had met Lin Xingzhu a little earlier, would she have been able to perceive the meaning of happiness a little earlier?

Hearing this, Lin Xingzhu said thoughtfully: “Everything has a fixed number⁴. If I had transmigrated a little earlier, it’s very possible it would have been into the Lin Xingzhu of this timeline, and it’s also possible that I would be eating prison food⁵ in the timeline before your rebirth.”

At that time, of the two of them, one would be eating prison food, the other hating heaven and hating earth, no matter how one thought about it, it seemed very unlikely that they would come into contact again.

Bai Xiying: “……”

After a long time, she proposed a new hypothesis: “Actually, it would also be possible for me to go to your world.”

That, on the contrary, is possible.

Lin Xingzhu imagined for a moment herself as a corporate livestock who follows the rules, encountering a blackened version of Bai Xiying and what kind of reaction would happen… probably a chickens flying and dogs jumping⁶ chemical reaction, right?

After a long while, Lin Xingzhu patted her head and said in a warm voice: “We can discuss these possibilities again when there’s a chance. Right now, we are discussing another matter.”

Smelling the unique and reassuring scent that belonged to Lin Xingzhu, Bai Xiying raised her head, her expression a bit gentle and soft: “Let’s correct it through restraint.”

She chose to struggle.

The moment she herself formed an “addiction” to a certain thing, that thing was no longer a purely healthy existence for her.

Moreover, the thing she was addicted to now was this kind of kidney-damaging⁷ activity.

Bai Xiying knew Lin Xingzhu had always been especially concerned about this aspect of her body, always worriedly wondering if a problem would occur, and she could not avoid worrying even after going to the hospital for a check-up. So even if she felt she had no problem, in order to let Lin Xingzhu be completely at ease, she still chose restraint.

Lin Xingzhu asked: “Have you chosen?”

“I have chosen.”

Seeing no sign of reluctance on Bai Xiying’s face, Lin Xingzhu was relieved.

She held out her palm, and said gently yet not without firmness: “Then bring the key here. From now on, this room will be looked after by me for you.”

She had been wondering how Bai Xiying could sometimes take out some toys that were clearly not chosen together; it turned out she had a huge private secret room behind her back.

Leaning against a big mountain⁸, she was indeed very rich.

Closing this room is the first step they must take.

Since she had decided to be restrained, Bai Xiying would not go back on her word.

But at this moment she was nestled against Lin Xingzhu and did not want to move, so she said lazily: “I will find the key and give it to you in a little while when we go out.”

Lin Xingzhu nodded.

However, to prevent overcorrecting, Lin Xingzhu still added: “Closing this room is only to help you reduce the ‘addiction’ in your heart, so that when there are problems you no longer think of coming here to use this method to vent and resolve them. But during normal times, if you want to play some couple’s games, that is completely okay.”

Bai Xiying, who was originally still slightly regretful, immediately perked up upon hearing this, “The key will be held by you from now on, but when we play games, we still don’t need to go buy more.”

Meeting Lin Xingzhu’s gaze, Bai Xiying said innocently: “This way saves money.”

Lin Xingzhu: “……”

She silently scanned Bai Xiying’s belongings, and discovered she could not say any words of rebuttal.

Her line of sight returned, and as Lin Xingzhu slightly lowered her head, she could see two soaked patches on Bai Xiying’s thin clothes.

She was silent for a few breaths, and asked in an especially serious voice: “Do you really not plan to go to the hospital to see about this?”

Following her line of sight, Bai Xiying took a glance. Having calmed down by now, she raised her head and replied as if nothing was wrong: “I think it’s not necessary. The reason given at that time will definitely still be the same.”

The reason is the same, but she would still have to endure a slightly strange gaze one more time, which is not worth it.

Lin Xingzhu frowned slightly and said nothing more.

Mainly, she was not sure if this of Bai Xiying’s was a temporary thing, or if it would be like this from now on.

But now Bai Xiying clearly did not want to go to the hospital, so she thought again and decided to go along with her for now.

Letting this topic go, Lin Xingzhu thought of the lactation period of family members around her after pregnancy and childbirth, and opened her mouth somewhat hesitantly: “……Are your breasts swollen or not?”

The base of her ears turned red: “To use or not to use a breast pump?”

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