After Transmigrating as a Scumbag Alpha, I Marked the Crazy Hotshot – Chapter 92

Yearning for the Other Shore

The milky scent of the body wash was pure, yet it was suffused with desire.

The space instantly felt constricting. The heat and humidity clung tightly to Cheng Jiqing.

The warm white light overhead was like a soft moonbeam filtering down through a layer of clouds.

She really isn’t some female Tang Sanzang, Cheng Jiqing thought, but she should also know that I’m no saint with a pure heart and few desires, either.

And Bai Xin was a true-to-life siren.

She was being led into the jungle of her own instincts.

A warm hand gripped hers, its thumb rubbing circles in her already damp palm.

“I’m asking you a question. Does it smell good?” Bai Xin’s voice was veiled in mist, carrying an amorous undertone in this situation.

Cheng Jiqing’s eyes were dark, her voice just as deep. “It’s just okay.”

Her breath, her heart, her lungs, her entire being—it was all consumed by this scent.

The fragrance was about to kill her.

“Be careful with your neck. I’m getting out now.”

Cheng Jiqing averted her gaze and pulled her hand away. She suppressed her turbulent emotions, suppressed the restlessness in her glands that was about to spin out of control. She spun around and started to walk out.

But then, a rush of heat surged from behind as a hotter body embraced her from the back.

It was damp, supple as if boneless, and scorching hot.

In her peripheral vision, she saw only pure white in the mirror to the side.

Water trickled onto the floor, and cottony white foam fell with it. Some of it was even squeezed into the air when Bai Xin hugged her.

It hung there, almost imperceptibly, drifting like a tiny boat.

Cheng Jiqing’s voice was suddenly hoarse. “Bai Xin, let go.”

But Bai Xin only held on tighter. She rested her chin on the back of Cheng Jiqing’s shoulder. Her hair was still damp, and it wet Cheng Jiqing’s sideburns in turn.

Her breath tickled Cheng Jiqing’s ear. “Cheng Jiqing, I always seem to find it harder to restrain myself around you… You love to read. I read a book recently, and there was a sentence in it.”

Cheng Jiqing closed her eyes. Her heart was already drumming like a war drum. Her body temperature was absurdly high; she felt like she was about to drown.

In the quiet bathroom, Bai Xin’s ethereal and bewitching voice sounded out: “A libertine’s greatest pleasure lies in seducing others to become libertines. I think that describes how I feel perfectly.”

She loved Cheng Jiqing. She loved her as a person, loved her character, loved her mind.

Naturally, she couldn’t escape loving her body.

In front of Cheng Jiqing, she could surrender to the simplest of desires.

She desperately wanted all of Cheng Jiqing.

She wanted Cheng Jiqing to belong to her, body and soul, and she wanted Cheng Jiqing to be just like her.

Even if Cheng Jiqing were a noble and holy goddess, she would pull that goddess down from her pedestal to sink into depravity with her and journey to the Yellow Springs¹.

Bai Xin said, “Chengcheng… tonight, would you like to be with me…

And be debauched?”

Cheng Jiqing’s eyes snapped open. Her breathing was deep, her brown pupils now dark and bottomless.

She clenched her fists, then grabbed the hands around her waist and forcefully ripped them away.

The movement was too fast, the force too great.

Bai Xin was pulled away by the force, her back hitting the bathroom door. It didn’t hurt, because Cheng Jiqing’s hand was there to cushion the impact. The touch made her let out a low hum.

She allowed Cheng Jiqing to continue pushing her back into the bathroom.

She retreated into the even more cramped frosted-glass shower stall.

This time, her smooth back was pressed against the cold tiled wall. The chill made her shiver, but her heart was filled with excitement.

The glass door slid shut.

Cheng Jiqing pressed in.

Their presence made the space even smaller. They stared at each other, breathing heavily.

But neither made the first move.

A few seconds later, Cheng Jiqing, with a steadying breath, reached out, pulled the other woman forward, and stepped back under the showerhead with Bai Xin.

She looked down. The scratch on her neck must have gotten wet; it was slightly red, with a bit of foam next to it.

Sometimes Bai Xin was like a rebellious child. Tell her not to do something, and she would do it just to force you to place all your attention on her.

And yet, you never felt the slightest bit of annoyance.

Cheng Jiqing turned on the shower.

Hot water instantly rushed down from the showerhead, washing away the foam on Bai Xin’s neck. She felt Bai Xin’s brow furrow from the sting.

And now Cheng Jiqing’s hair was wet, her cheeks were wet, and her body was wet.

Droplets of water rolled ceaselessly down her eyelashes in a torrential rush.

Dripping wet, she lowered her gaze to meet Bai Xin’s and said through gritted teeth, “We still haven’t made up, you know that?”

Bai Xin tilted her chin up slightly. The water streamed over her exquisite, rosy features, making her look like a water-washed rose—stunning and moving.

She raised a hand to caress Cheng Jiqing’s face, slowly leaning in. Her gaze lingered on Cheng Jiqing’s eyes before dropping to her lips. Her chest rose and fell dramatically, her voice hoarse. “I know. I also know… you want it too.”

The moment the words fell, Bai Xin’s kiss landed on Cheng Jiqing’s lips through the cascading water.

Cheng Jiqing closed her eyes against the spray. Her eyelashes trembled, her knuckles white from the force she was exerting.

Her heart was trembling.

Bai Xin pulled away slightly, her gaze locking onto Cheng Jiqing with avarice. She wrapped her arms around Cheng Jiqing’s neck and leaned in to kiss her again—

A hand suddenly clamped down on her shoulder.

She opened her eyes in surprise, only to meet… Cheng Jiqing’s conflicted and struggling gaze.

She could clearly feel Cheng Jiqing’s struggle—the struggle of not being ready…

In the past, she might have used all her strength to lock her down. She knew that with just a little more force, Cheng Jiqing would stay. But seeing that look in her eyes, she suddenly didn’t want to.

She wanted Cheng Jiqing to want her with more certainty, without any burdens or second thoughts.

A moment passed.

Bai Xin’s hands slid down, somewhat limply.

Then, as if in anger, she shoved the other woman away. Her voice cooled as she lowered her gaze and said, “Turn around.”

As she spoke, the water from above streamed over her full lips, making even her anger seem filled with desire.

Her hair was stuck to her face. Cheng Jiqing brushed it back with her fingers and said quietly, “I’ll get out.”

A moment ago, she’d had the impulse to follow her instincts. It was undeniable that she would feel desire for Bai Xin, but… just as she was about to take the final step, that self-protective film had emerged.

It was thin, easily torn.

But as long as it remained untorn, it would inevitably affect her heart.

And so, she struggled and hesitated.

And retreated.

It was always like this. She could be decisive about anything, except when it came to Bai Xin. She was always so cautious.

Afraid of hurting Bai Xin, and in turn, hurting herself.

Cheng Jiqing reached for the door.

Bai Xin said angrily, “You’re worried I’ll catch a cold, but you think I’m not worried you’ll catch one?!”

Walking out soaked like this, even with the warm air blowing, would be uncomfortable.

Cheng Jiqing’s breath caught in her throat.

Bai Xin took a deep breath. “Turn around. Or, if you want to watch me shower, I don’t mind.”

With that, Bai Xin looked up, straight into Cheng Jiqing’s eyes, and her hands began to move over her own body.

Proud, bewitching.

The ultimate seduction.

“…”

Cheng Jiqing’s throat felt itchy. She could see and hear the familiar annoyance in Bai Xin’s tone. She remained silent for a second, then turned around.

Like a student facing the wall for punishment, she faced the frosted glass with her back to Bai Xin.

From time to time, water would splash onto her back and her feet.

It was warmth, but also sparks of fire.

Having Bai Xin shower behind her was, for her, not a pleasant experience.

A few minutes later.

The sound of the water stopped, and Bai Xin opened the door and walked out.

Cheng Jiqing was left alone in the milk-scented space. She leaned her head back against the glass slightly and raised a hand to touch her unusually turbulent glands.

She was soaked to the bone.

Restlessness and clarity intertwined.

She let out a long sigh.

A single thought can make one a Buddha, a single thought a demon².

Someone like her, who could neither become a Buddha nor descend into a demon, was the most pitiful of all.

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Twenty minutes later.

Cheng Jiqing finished a quick shower and walked out of the bathroom, a bath towel wrapped around her body and a towel around her head.

Just as she stepped out, one of the lights in the room dimmed.

It couldn’t have been more deliberate.

“…”

Cheng Jiqing glanced at the person sitting on the inner bed with her back to her. She had changed into a velvet nightgown, but her hair was still down, clearly not dried.

“There’s a hairdryer in the cabinet,” she said.

When she received no reply, she turned to get a set of pajamas for herself first.

After she had changed and come out of the bathroom, she found the person had already gotten into bed, seemingly ready to sleep just like that.

Cheng Jiqing paused. “Get up and dry your hair before you sleep.”

Bai Xin continued to ignore her, even pulling the covers over her head in retaliation, as if in response.

“…”

Then she remembered that Bai Xin’s wound had gotten wet earlier and needed to be treated again.

She couldn’t possibly let her sleep like this.

Cheng Jiqing stood where she was, looking at the figure hunched under the white comforter. After a moment of silence, she went to get the hairdryer.

She walked to Bai Xin’s bedside.

“Get up. Dry your hair.”

She plugged the hairdryer into the socket by the bed.

Cheng Jiqing waited a few seconds, then reached out and pulled the covers away. It didn’t take much effort. The person was curled up with her back to her, her still-damp hair scattered across her cheeks, obscuring her fair profile.

She turned Bai Xin slightly, gripping her shoulders to sit her up.

And then she saw Bai Xin’s slightly red eyes.

Her peach blossom eyes were shimmering, filled with a mist, as if they had been shattered.

Cheng Jiqing’s heart gave a sudden, sharp jolt.

She was speechless.

Bai Xin turned her head away, refusing to look at her, a mix of anger and a hint of grievance in her expression.

A few seconds later, Cheng Jiqing held Bai Xin’s shoulders, turned her around so her back was facing her, and switched on the hairdryer.

Bai Xin’s hair was very soft, like most of her body.

Running one’s fingers through it, it felt like something to be treasured.

The whirring of the hairdryer broke the room’s silence.

After an unknown amount of time, Bai Xin suddenly turned around and fell into Cheng Jiqing’s arms, hugging her back tightly.

This was different from the embrace in the bathroom.

This one was mixed with more sentiment… and even yearning.

The hairdryer was still running. Cheng Jiqing’s movements paused for a moment, then she lowered her head and, in this position, continued to help Bai Xin dry her hair.

She understood.

She understood Bai Xin’s heart better than anyone.

The sound of the hairdryer, mixed with distant, noisy memories, washed over them.

It was summer then, back in Nanyang City.

Half a year had passed, but Cheng Jiqing remembered it clearly. It was the day they made up after their first real argument.

It was also the day of their date.

They had woken up in the afternoon and ordered congee.

One pork rib, one seafood.

Bai Xin had also just finished showering and, claiming she was hungry, refused to dry her hair.

So she had called her over, and they sat at the narrow bathroom doorway, facing the mirror inside, as she helped Bai Xin dry her hair.

And Bai Xin had turned around to hug her just like this.

…

The sound stopped.

The memories stopped too.

But Bai Xin didn’t let go, and Cheng Jiqing didn’t push her away.

One stood by the bed, the other sat cross-legged upon it.

Cheng Jiqing lowered her gaze to look at the person in her arms. She raised a hand, and after two seconds, her palm gently rested on top of Bai Xin’s head.

She stood on the edge—most likely, the edge of being submerged at any moment.

She knew perfectly well which way the ship was heading; it was only because she had encountered storms on a past voyage that she was being so cautious this time.

But—

She was yearning for the other shore.

Perhaps Bai Xin heard her thoughts, for she said from within the embrace, “I’ll wait.”

Looking back on it later, Cheng Jiqing would realize that, in that very moment, the snow on her heart had already melted…

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The author has something to say:

On the surface, a winner; in reality, a loser—Cheng Jiqing.

“A libertine’s greatest pleasure is in seducing others to become libertines.”—from 《If It Die…》 by André Gide³

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