The dust settles.
“Your pheromone scent is almost identical to your natural body fragrance, just richer.”
“I can’t describe it with any single, specific scent. If I had to describe it—”
“…It’s like the first night of early winter, stepping on soft, bright new snow, and delicately sniffing the first trembling, blooming, soft white flower within it. Or like when the bright moon hangs high in the sky, its clear light like wine, gently spilling over and soaking into the darkness, washing away all obscurity…”
It was that pure, that dazzling and mesmerizing.
“You know this scent. I once made a scented balm for you based on your body fragrance.”
Listening to Qi Song’s earnest and slow narration, Yu Luo’s eyelashes fluttered, and for a moment, she was speechless.
If her pheromone scent was as pleasant as Qi Song described, why had so many people pitied, loathed, and rejected her for it after her differentiation?
Qi Song was also pondering this question.
“Could it be because the ‘Fragrance-Inducing Factor’ in your body has lost its effect?”
With the research having long stalled, people only knew that the “Fragrance-Inducing Factor” could change a pheromone scent, but they didn’t know the specifics of how it worked or how long its effects could last.
Perhaps when Yu Luo had just differentiated, her pheromones were indeed changed by this substance into some kind of unbearable odor, which was why she had been met with such looks of disgust.
But as time passed, the “Fragrance-Inducing Factor” had gradually faded within her body, and its effects had weakened. Now, it had completely lost its efficacy, allowing Yu Luo to regain her original, natural pheromone scent.
This was the most logical and ideal explanation.
And Yu Luo began to tremble at this possibility.
The “Fragrance-Inducing Factor” was the beginning of her childhood’s complete collapse. It had not only subjected her to mental torment but had also left her body covered in scars.
She thought she would be accompanied by this demon for her entire life, yet today she discovered that she might have unknowingly escaped it.
Faced with this immense, unforeseen joy, she momentarily shrank back from the possibility, not daring to fully accept or approach it.
She was terrified that it was just a fleeting moment of happiness.
“Stop overdosing on inhibitors. You no longer need to worry about your pheromone scent.” Qi Song held her tighter, gently and tenderly kissing the woman’s tear-streaked cheek. “I will help you slowly wean off the inhibitors and nurse your body back to health.”
This way, Yu Luo wouldn’t have to overdose on inhibitors to cover up her pheromone scent and damage her health; nor would she live with constant anxiety and low self-esteem, feeling that her scent was repulsive.
And Qi Song was no longer the ordinary person she once was. She had successfully differentiated into an Alpha, so she didn’t have to worry about her previously feigned gender being exposed and destroying her career. At the same time, she could mark Yu Luo, helping her break her dependency on inhibitors.
They had both been abandoned by this world of ABO gender dynamics due to their different imperfections, but now, it seemed they had both escaped that past.
It couldn’t be more perfect.
Experiencing her heat period for the first time without injecting inhibitors was difficult for Yu Luo to endure.
Under the effects of withdrawal, her symptoms were more intense than ever before.
Fragile, full of desire, aggrieved, and crying at the slightest provocation.
In the swirling vapor of the bathroom, she wrapped her arms around Qi Song’s neck, her eyes shimmering with alluring and pitiful tears, repeatedly demanding that the other woman possess her forcefully.
And Qi Song descended with her into the abyss of love and desire, sinking into the most fervent indulgence, satisfying her every craving.
When Yu Luo was so exhausted from their lovemaking that she passed out, unable to ask for or endure another ounce of pleasure, Qi Song carefully washed her and gently carried her to bed.
She preciously kissed Yu Luo’s forehead.
The woman’s breathing was even and steady in her deep sleep. The room fell completely silent, leaving only the dim glow of the bedside lamp.
The passion from moments ago gradually cooled in the tranquility. The surging tide of emotion receded, and reason slowly returned.
Qi Song came to her senses from the haze of love and lust.
As the passion and sense of fulfillment faded, a great emptiness was regurgitated, almost swallowing her whole.
She couldn’t help but bite her lip, desperately holding Yu Luo tighter, drawing in the cool, clear fragrance from the woman’s neck.
Why… why wasn’t she as happy as she had imagined?
She had waited for so long, wanting to remember her entire past and learn the truth of what happened, so she could love Yu Luo in peace.
But now, the memories of her time with Yu Luo rushed through her mind, every detail as clear as if it had just happened, yet she couldn’t find the sense of security she had imagined.
The answer didn’t seem to be in those memories—
Her breakup with Yu Luo had been abrupt and completely senseless.
All the happiness and joy, the heart-fluttering moments and the way they moistened each other with spit1, had come to a screeching halt two years ago, on the very day they were about to revisit D City.—
That morning, she had woken from her dreams full of anticipation, only to see Yu Luo’s coolly transcendent face wearing an indifferent expression as she softly announced:
“Let’s break up. I don’t love you anymore.”
It was so stiff and rushed.
And the two years that followed were the memories she had acquired when she first “transmigrated into the book”: as the pitiful wretch who had been dumped, she had lost her wealth and career amidst a string of misfortunes, ending up deeply in debt.
As she sorted through her memories, Qi Song’s heart grew increasingly rigid.
She also became aware of more contradictions.
In her memories, she had never read any books about insects, nor had she learned to fish or row a boat. Yet, the current her possessed this knowledge and these skills.
In her memories, she and Yu Luo had pinky-sworn that Yu Luo would teach her to surf in the future, an agreement they never got to fulfill because they were too busy. Yet, the current her knew how to surf and had memories of a coach teaching her.
In her memories, she had never seen the aurora and had planned to propose to Yu Luo under the northern lights in Norway. Yet, the current her had the experience of seeing the aurora alone.
Furthermore, in her memories, her handwriting had matured and stabilized in high school, and she had never deliberately practiced it afterward. Yet, her current handwriting was noticeably different from her past self’s.
She was extremely similar to the original Qi Song, yet worlds apart.
Or perhaps… she was more than the original Qi Song.
What was that extra part?
Qi Song fell into a panic.
Ever since she realized she might be the “original owner,” she had accepted this notion more and more completely.
She hoped she was the person Yu Luo loved, and she felt that she could only be that person.
But now that her memories were finally complete, she re-examined the differences between the “original owner” and herself with objectivity, and was immediately struck by a great shock and terror.
Could she have been mistaken?
Could she have been mistaken from the very beginning?
—Perhaps she really was just a book transmigrator who had occupied the original owner’s life. It was precisely because she had so many similarities with the original owner that she was chosen to enter this body, gradually mistaking herself for the original owner. She had then coveted and taken the original owner’s lover and daughter, becoming hopelessly trapped in a misunderstanding of her identity, hastily dismissing her pre-transmigration memories as a fantasy.
And tonight, recovering the original owner’s past memories was like having a basin of ice water poured over her head, drenching all her self-deception and leaving her true self with nowhere to hide.
The skills, knowledge, and experiences she had that the original owner didn’t could not have appeared out of thin air, nor could they be mere fantasies.
She… she didn’t seem to be the original owner. How else could it be explained?
The thought made Qi Song’s chest tighten. She lowered her gaze to the peaceful sleeping face of the woman in her arms, and the hand around Yu Luo’s waist trembled with fear.
Her nose stung, and the ache of tears welled up amidst the immense panic.
She couldn’t bear to part with this person at all. But if she had truly only been a dove occupying the magpie’s nest…2
No, that wasn’t right.
Just a short while ago, she and Yu Luo were lost in pleasure, repeatedly feeling their affection for each other.
Noses touching, the “I love yous” whispered back and forth amidst their hot, intertwined breaths had reached straight to the soul. The tears and trembling had not seemed fake.
Should she believe her memories, or should she believe her feelings?
In her sleep, Yu Luo seemed uneasy. Her eyelashes fluttered, and she snuggled more clingingly into Qi Song’s embrace.
Qi Song wanted to kiss her hair comfortingly but restrained herself with a pained, anxious pang.
Her heart felt as if it were bleeding.
In a sleepless night of self-questioning and contemplation, Qi Song grew utterly exhausted, and her weary mind was gradually forced into a daze.
But in the instant before she lost consciousness, a thought suddenly broke through the haze, striking her like a bolt of lightning—
The future.
The extra part of her that the original Qi Song didn’t have… could it have come from the future?
When Yu Luo woke up in the morning, she felt sore all over.
She was still in her heat period without inhibitors and had just been marked not long ago. She was emotionally soft and fragile, craving the affection of her beloved.
“Qi Song?” She reached out to the side, where the young woman was lying primly next to her.
She wasn’t even holding her.
Yu Luo’s eyes narrowed slightly. She turned on her side, trying to snuggle into Qi Song’s arms, only to see Qi Song suddenly sit up.
It was just enough to accidentally avoid her movement to get closer.
Yu Luo froze for a moment.
“You’re awake? Are you feeling unwell anywhere?”
Qi Song asked with gentle concern, the care in her eyes the same as always.
Yu Luo paused for a few seconds, then relaxed with a sense of relief and shook her head. “I’m fine.”
“Don’t get up yet,” she requested in a small voice, her sleepy eyes filled with affection and dependence. “Come here and hold me.”
Qi Song’s hand, hidden under the covers, clenched her inner thigh. The sharp pain jolted her, who was on the verge of succumbing, back to her senses.
“Later,” she said softly. “I made you breakfast. If I don’t go now, it’ll burn.”
Yu Luo blinked, her attention drawn to the mention of breakfast. “You borrowed the kitchen?”
“Mhm.” Qi Song got out of bed. “You’re still in your heat and withdrawing from inhibitors. You need proper nourishment.”
Seeing Qi Song’s natural expression as she walked steadily out of the room, Yu Luo felt that everything was reasonable, yet she also felt a faint, unsettling sense that something was wrong.
Perhaps it was just because she was still in her heat, making her overly sensitive.
With that thought, she turned over in bed, muttering with some grievance, “In any case, she didn’t hold me.”
Her body was tired, and she soon drifted back into a heavy sleep.
It wasn’t the sensitivity of her heat period.
Yu Luo could see it now; something was definitely off with Qi Song.
From the moment she woke up in the morning, to their final recording session for the variety show at noon, and then to the director’s announcement that the show had successfully concluded.
Qi Song, who usually clung to her like a puppy, had barely had any physical contact with her.
And even though she tried her best to act and restrain herself, Qi Song couldn’t hide the conflict and dejection in her eyes.
Not only that. The director had already announced the end of the show, but the “great reveal of the truth” that Ah Ran had mentioned would happen after “the dust settles” never came.
Yu Luo began to feel anxious.
…Had something gone wrong?
After lunch, they had a short break before returning to their home country as arranged by the production team.
After packing her luggage, Yu Luo slowly took off her coat and lay down on the bed.
She spoke softly to the person who was dawdling and not getting into bed, “Is there nothing you want to say to me?”
“Qi Song,” she said, her voice gentle yet disappointed, “I thought I was the person who could share all of your emotions.”
Qi Song stood with her back to her, her hands by her sides clenched into fists, trembling slightly as if trying to restrain something with all her might.
It was so painful to watch.
Yu Luo felt a pang of sadness and couldn’t help but bite her lower lip.
Qi Song said in a low voice, “I’m sorry. I’m struggling with something, and I’m a little scared right now. But I’ll figure it out soon and tell you everything.”
She still didn’t know if she was really just a book transmigrator who had deceived Yu Luo and occupied another’s place, or if she was from the future, possessing an extra period of life experience compared to the original Qi Song.
If it was the former, she didn’t know how she could face herself in the future.
There was a long silence from Yu Luo behind her.
Qi Song’s heart clenched. In the end, all her inner turmoil couldn’t compare to her worry for Yu Luo. She finally took a deep breath, mustered her courage, and turned to look at her.
She saw the Omega, already in her heat period, looking fragile and broken. Her dark hair was a mess, her eyes were red, and tears were on the verge of falling. She was trembling, trying her best to hold back her sobs, which was why she hadn’t made a sound.
A dizzying, sharp pain shot through Qi Song’s head.
Before she could even react, she had rushed to Yu Luo’s side in a few steps, leaning down to pull her into an embrace, her arms tightening.
“…….Why are you so pitiful?” Her cheek pressed against the top of Yu Luo’s head as she sighed hoarsely.
Yu Luo clutched the corner of her shirt, sobbing out her accusation, “You haven’t held me once since I woke up today.”
“I’m sorry.” Qi Song was shattered by her tear-soaked voice, her entire body going soft. She could no longer harden her heart.
She held the woman tightly, coaxing her, repeatedly patting her back and saying gently, “Don’t be sad… I love you.”
She tilted her head to kiss Yu Luo’s hair, repeating, “I love you.”
After being marked again, Yu Luo’s body and mind finally settled down.
She was gradually coaxed to sleep by Qi Song.
Qi Song gently wiped away the crystalline teardrops from the corners of the woman’s flushed eyes, feeling an unprecedented sense of bewilderment.
She didn’t know what to do anymore.
She was just a small animal that could be easily manipulated by Yu Luo’s tears. A single pitiful tremble from the woman could break through her principles and morals, making her cast all thoughts of occupying another’s nest to the back of her mind.
She was lost in a sense of her own patheticness.
At first, she was questioning her own despicableness, but later her mind gradually went blank, leaving only the delicate touch of Yu Luo’s fingertips in her palm.
The flow of time was strange. Sometimes it was so slow it felt viscous, coming to a leisurely halt; other times it was swift, like countless days and nights flashing by.
Suddenly, in one instant, she snapped back to her senses.
Belatedly, she realized that a strange sense of fullness was silently brewing within her body and spreading everywhere.
It was as if she had always been precariously attached to this body, but now she was beginning to take root completely, thoroughly permeating and merging with it.
Her very soul began to tremble, burning with an unbearable heat.
Like some unavoidable rejection response, her whole body itched, and an unbearable sense of bloating came from all over. The sealed room felt extremely suffocating.
Staying for another second would mean suffocation.
She couldn’t help but get up immediately, walking hastily towards the door.
Just as she pushed the door open to leave, her phone chimed with a crisp “ding-dong,” snatching a moment of clarity for her from the searing heat.
In desperate need of a distraction, she took out her phone and saw that the hospital had sent the paternity test results—
There was a 99.9999% probability that Taotao and this body were mother and daughter.
Qi Song stared at the words on the report. She had known this all along, so seeing it wasn’t surprising.
She only felt sorry for Yu Luo, who had lost her lover, and for Taotao, who didn’t have a mother. She only hated herself, the despicable person who had very likely occupied another’s nest.
The feeling of suffocation in her soul intensified. The memories in her mind churned, images shattering into fragments, piecing together, melting, coalescing, and reshaping…
Her head hurt so much it felt like it was about to explode.
Qi Song couldn’t bear it and gasped for breath heavily.
Her fingers gripped the doorknob tightly. As she subconsciously leaned on it, the handle was pressed down, causing the door to open wider—
“Don’t go!”
A hurried voice cut through the air from behind her, momentarily suppressing the pain in Qi Song’s mind.
Her heart seized. She subconsciously turned around and saw Yu Luo, who was supposed to have been coaxed to sleep, quickly getting out of bed and running towards her barefoot, stumbling.
The woman, who was always so cool and dignified, tightly clutched the corner of her shirt, her face filled with utter pity and grievance, the shimmering water in her reddened eyes overflowing.
“Don’t go, please? I’m begging you…”
Qi Song stared at the tears wavering in Yu Luo’s red eyes, and at the brokenness that filled those tears.
In a flash of lightning and flint3, the feeling of intense rejection from her body seemed to be completely extinguished by that broken, tearful gaze.
All that remained was a faint, unwilling, crackling sound, like a weary and heavy sigh.
The pain receded like a river’s flow, and the chaos was reordered.
Every part of her soul finally found its home, roaming freely and comfortably through her limbs, leisurely and eternal.
Everything gradually returned to silence.
Like a speck of dust slowly falling, landing silently on the ground, to rest forever in time.
…
At the age of 22, Qi Song and Yu Luo adjusted their work pace, leaving more time for each other.
They went to D City as planned, revisited the giant rock, and shared new passions in the old place.
Unfortunately, the cruise ship was not in port recently, so they couldn’t experience the masquerade ball again.
They rested in D City for a month, watching the sea and feeling the wind. Yu Luo also personally taught Qi Song how to surf.
That day, the newly graduated Qi Song conquered the rolling waves with her. Together, they leaped from the crest of a wave on their surfboards, drawing a graceful arc in the air before swiftly descending back into the calm that followed the tide.
They looked at each other with smiling eyes, laughing with uninhibited joy.
They got off their surfboards and swam towards each other. Brushing aside the wet, dark hair from each other’s faces, they shared a kiss that tasted of the sea and was unsteady in breath.
It was also on that day that they were accidentally photographed by a passerby.
They took the opportunity to go public, causing a shockwave in the domestic entertainment industry that took a long time to subside.
…
Their days became increasingly leisurely and comfortable.
They would film two movies a year, and the rest of their time was almost entirely their own to arrange.
“Jiejie, I feel like we’ve already started our retirement. We went boating last month, and this month we’re fishing.”
Qi Song was sitting by the lake, fishing. As a beginner, she was having no luck and hadn’t caught a single fish all day.
Hearing this, Yu Luo couldn’t help but find it amusing. “You’re not even 24, and you’re already thinking about retirement.”
“Mmm.” Qi Song smiled too. “Is that so bad… wait, I think I got a bite!”
Her heart suddenly started beating violently. Under Yu Luo’s watchful gaze, she quickly reeled in the line.
A small, unknown fish was biting the hook as it leaped out of the water.
“It’s so small, not even enough to make you a plate of braised fish in soy sauce,” Qi Song said dejectedly.
Yu Luo belatedly realized, “You suddenly got interested in learning to fish because you wanted to make braised fish for me?”
Qi Song nodded as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Yeah, otherwise I wouldn’t like such a boring activity at all.”
Yu Luo smiled.
She gently stroked Qi Song’s hair and coaxed, “It’s okay, we’ll raise this fish until it’s bigger and then eat it.”
They packed up and went home under the setting sun, placing the small fish in a tank to be carefully raised.
In the end, they couldn’t bring themselves to eat it.
They kept the fish until it died of old age, then carefully buried it in the backyard of their villa, even playfully erecting a tiny tombstone.
—Soon-to-be Braised Fish.
At 24, Qi Song differentiated into an Alpha.
She had worried about this, afraid that she wouldn’t be able to control her biological instincts and would try to mark Yu Luo.
But she discovered her worries were unfounded.
Even during her susceptibility period, as long as she had one shot of inhibitor, her gland would be as obedient as Yu Luo’s other little puppy, never misbehaving.
Emotionally, however, she was often uncontrollably turbulent. She wished she could stick to Yu Luo every second of every minute, and would shed tears if they were apart for even a short while.
Sometimes, when Yu Luo had to go out for work, she would pitifully act as her personal assistant, trailing behind her like a tail.
This behavior was inevitably captured by fans or the media, and her title of “Jiejie’s Treasure” gradually became famous throughout the domestic entertainment industry.
Regarding this, it would be impossible to say that Qi Song didn’t feel a bit of glorious pride.
Fortunately, both of them were accomplished enough in the entertainment circle that no one could say who was leeching off whom; people just shipped them with dazzling fascination.
On Christmas Eve of that year, Qi Song marked Yu Luo for the first time.
She finally understood how viciously the “Fragrance-Inducing Factor” could destroy a person’s scent.
After being marked by her, Yu Luo, still trembling, felt Qi Song’s surging tears on her neck.
“Is… is it so bad it made you cry?” she teased, enduring her embarrassment.
Qi Song held her tightly from behind, bit down forcefully, and marked her again, more deeply this time, silencing the woman’s nonsense.
“I just feel so sorry for you…” she choked out.
The disgust, avoidance, or condescending pity that Yu Luo had once suffered because of it became tangible in that moment, clearer than ever before.
She could imagine all those indifferent and frivolous strangers, who had no idea how wonderful Yu Luo was, casually and cruelly rejecting and destroying a pitiful young girl based solely on the scent fabricated by the “Fragrance-Inducing Factor.”
And later that night, Yu Luo no longer had room to feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Qi Song brought her a passionate, deep-sea-like love and acceptance, allowing her to let go of the last trace of inferiority she felt about her pheromone scent.
After ten years, Qi Song could finally prove the words she had said to Yu Luo when she was still an ordinary person in her youth:
“Even if I could smell your pheromones, I would continue to cherish all of you.”
Yu Luo was gradually weaning herself off inhibitors.
Although she had to overdose on them to hide her pheromone scent when she was on set filming, most of the time, she and Qi Song lived freely in some corner of the world, and even during her heat periods, Qi Song could mark her directly.
Her body, which had been weakened by years of inhibitor use, began to have room to breathe, and her health seemed to be slowly returning.
During a marking one day, Qi Song said with some uncertainty, “I feel like your pheromone scent is changing… it’s like the original scent is fading, revealing another cool, clear fragrance. It’s very similar to your natural body scent, but a bit richer.”
Yu Luo initially thought she was just saying it casually.
But it turned out to be true.
As her body grew healthier, the “Fragrance-Inducing Factor” seemed to be expelled, its effects faltering.
Six months later, Yu Luo completely escaped the shadow of the “Fragrance-Inducing Factor” and recovered her original pheromone scent.
Qi Song said her pheromone scent was very much like the trembling flower, bathed in moonlight, that they had found in the newly fallen, soft white snow while walking hand in hand late at night in Norway.
Yes, at that time they were traveling in Tromsø, Norway, fulfilling their youthful promise.
Under the brilliant and dazzling aurora, Yu Luo stared intently at the dreamlike sky.
Bathed in the curtain of light, she seemed to be comfortingly stroking the younger version of herself from her childhood, the one who had desperately wanted to escape her predicament and come to Norway to see the aurora.
A lump formed in her throat, and she was momentarily lost in overwhelming emotion.
“Thank you for bringing me to see the aurora…”
She murmured, turning her head, only to find that the person who had been standing beside her was gone.
Her heart skipped a beat, and Yu Luo suddenly spun around—
Only to see the young woman kneeling on one knee in the boundless snowy field. The violet-green aurora was reflected brilliantly in her sparkling eyes, flowing over the crimson gemstone set in the engagement ring in her hand.
Her heart pounded against her chest, hot and searing. Yu Luo’s nose instantly stung with tears.
She had thought Qi Song would say some touching, heartfelt words.
But she saw that the person wanted to speak, but tears flowed first4. She was so choked up that she couldn’t speak for a long time, finally managing to pitifully and clumsily squeeze out a sentence: “I’m sorry, I memorized the proposal speech so many times, but I’m so nervous right now I can’t remember any of it…”
Yu Luo froze for a moment, then, amidst her tears, she couldn’t help but laugh until she trembled.
After laughing, the gentleness in her eyes settled. She squatted down and leaned in to kiss Qi Song’s slightly cool lips.
“Even though you, you fool, forgot to even ask if I want to marry you…”
“But, I do.”
They stopped watching the aurora after that, lost only in a passionate kiss on the desolate snowy plain, under the ethereal silk woven from the flowing lights.
The itinerary for their destination wedding was planned with a unique touch.
Unlike previous years when they went to sparsely populated places to see magnificent sights, this time they went to county towns and rural villages, experiencing the ordinary yet full lives of people in the mottled alleyways.
Along the way, they also further developed the recently established “Undifferentiated Persons Foundation,” doing their utmost to help ordinary people who were abandoned, discriminated against, and even deprived of their right to education because they could not differentiate.
The night they returned to B City after their trip, Yu Luo suddenly asked Qi Song, “Do you want a child?”
They had been enjoying their world for two and had never considered adding a new member to their small family.
Qi Song also regularly went to the hospital for Alpha contraceptive injections, so she could mark Yu Luo without worry of her getting pregnant.
She had naturally assumed that she and Yu Luo would only have each other for their entire lives.
So, hearing Yu Luo’s question, she couldn’t help but feel a little alarmed. “Jiejie wants a child?”
“It sounds like you don’t really want one,” Yu Luo said with a light laugh.
After a moment of silence, Qi Song said in a muffled voice, “If we don’t have a child, Jiejie will always love me the most.”
“You’re worried your love will be divided?”
Yu Luo stroked her hair and said slowly and gently, “I don’t think it would be like that. The existence of a child would just give us a new love to give selflessly.”
“Whether we have a child or not, I will always love you the most.”
Hearing her firm tone, the tension in Qi Song’s eyes gradually eased.
“You sound like you want a child. Did you have some kind of realization during our travels?”
“Mmm… we’ve traveled far and wide recently, seeing all walks of life,” Yu Luo said seriously. “All the children we met were, to some extent, broken by their families.”
“Either they were treated as tools for old-age support from birth, as machines for housework or earning money, or as a resource to obtain a bride price…”5
“Or they did receive love, but were often suppressed and controlled in the name of love…”
“We tried to help some girls, and in doing so, we saw even more clearly the various unbearable situations.”
“I used to think that you and I were rare cases of family misfortune in this world, but I never imagined that this is just a microcosm of today’s society.”
“So, I began to wonder…” A light flickered in Yu Luo’s eyes. “Could there be a child who is purely loved and anticipated by two people while still in her mother’s womb, and after she is born, she can grow freely and unrestrainedly, and as long as she doesn’t hurt others, all her heavenly steed soaring across the skies6 ideas and actions will be encouraged and supported…”
“In other words, this child would be conceived and born just to be loved.”
Yu Luo smiled softly. “When I was little, I used to fantasize over and over that I would be such a lucky child in my next life.”
“But now I feel that we don’t have to wait for the next life—this lucky child can be our daughter.”
Finally, she blinked and said leisurely:
“Besides, then I can go to her parent-teacher conferences. I’m starting to get an itch for parent-teacher conferences…”
Regarding the issue of having a child, Yu Luo never brought it up again after expressing her thoughts that day.
Qi Song knew that Yu Luo was giving her time to think and would completely respect her wishes.
She was momentarily caught in a dilemma.
Yu Luo’s words that day had actually struck a chord with her—like Yu Luo, she had been abandoned by her family and had an unhappy childhood.
They were naturally sensitive to the topic of family and always held an idealistic aspiration and fantasy: could a truly complete, happy, free, and joyful family exist in the world?
Since she and Yu Luo had ample financial means, a deep and enduring love for each other, and had repeatedly reflected on parent-child relationships throughout their own growth, they naturally possessed a corresponding sense of responsibility.
How happy would a child born into their family be?
The mere thought of such a happy child being their daughter made Qi Song feel happy herself.
The day after she figured things out, Qi Song took the initiative to experience the pain of childbirth.
As she came out of the simulation room, weak, she began to hesitate.
“It really hurts, Jiejie,” she said seriously to Yu Luo on the way home. “You know I can tolerate pain well, but I couldn’t stand it just now. Maybe we shouldn’t…”
Yu Luo seemed a bit distracted and wasn’t listening to her.
She was looking out the window. The car was passing a middle school, and they could just see a graceful young girl running into her mother’s arms, her smile bright and carefree.
Qi Song didn’t get a response from Yu Luo. She turned her head to follow the woman’s gaze and was slightly taken aback.
The mother-daughter relationship was likely a topic that Yu Luo would never be able to fully let go of. She and Yu Yan had first been separated in life, and then by death, leaving nothing but regrets.
Qi Song pressed her lips together, the words on the tip of her tongue dissipating.
Yu Luo came back to her senses, her clear, moist eyes shimmering as she smiled at her. “It looks like the parent-teacher conference just ended at this school, huh? Every child is holding their parent’s arm.”
Qi Song knew from high school that Yu Luo had a soft spot for parent-teacher conferences. Back then, when Yu Luo attended them for her, she was always full of enthusiasm, willing to turn down work or banquet invitations for them.
“Mom said in her letter that she didn’t look forward to having me at first,” Yu Luo said slowly, seemingly not having completely ignored what she had said earlier. “Later, when she almost had a miscarriage, she was so scared she wanted to cry, simply because I was her child.”
“Tell me, what does that kind of heart-wrenching pain, that connection of flesh and blood, feel like?” Yu Luo leaned on her shoulder and asked softly.
Qi Song squeezed Yu Luo’s hand, a bitter feeling welling up in her heart.
In that moment, she understood that the pain of childbirth was probably no match for the psychological pain that Yu Luo needed to heal.
After several more serious discussions and a comprehensive physical examination, they finally made a firm decision.
Since the decision was made, they no longer wavered, and relaxed as they looked forward to their future child together.
It was a magical and new experience.
The two of them pored over parenting books every day, imagining what their yet-to-be-seen daughter would look like, and seriously and lovingly gave her a name.
Her formal name was Yu Feng, wishing her a life free from constraints, as unrestrained as the wind.
Her nickname was more casual, Taotao—named after the plate of crisp peaches the woman had cut for her on the day Qi Song had been so desperately hoping to be taken home by Yu Luo.
In these full and self-entertaining expectations, time flowed by.
However, neither of them had ever imagined that the first child they would have was not the one who had yet to be conceived—
On a particularly ordinary day, Yu Luo suddenly came home leading a small, dirty girl by the hand.
Qi Song stood in the entryway, utterly bewildered as she looked at the timid child.
She was about five years old, her delicate face smudged with grime, but her eyes were large, round, and exceptionally bright.
Yu Luo, not minding the dirt at all, ruffled the little girl’s messy, bird’s-nest-like hair and said, a little awkwardly, “Just picked her up.”
“I’m sorry, I should have given you a heads-up, but…”
“She looked a little pitiful,” Yu Luo said, and as she spoke, the gaze she directed at Qi Song also became a little pitiful.
The big one and the little one stood there at the door, both staring at her pitifully.
Qi Song: “…”
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