To drink poison to quench one’s thirst
After the beginning of spring, the phenomenon of shorter days and longer nights slowly transitions towards equal day and night length. At half-past six in the morning, the sun has yet to rise, and the world remains enveloped in a dim haze. Xiao Wanqing is still in deep sleep when the alarm she set the day before timidly starts ringing, startling her awake.
She opens her eyes with difficulty, turns off the alarm, and her still drowsy eyes are filled with weariness. After a moment, she struggles to sit up.
Her stomach still aches faintly…
After showering last night, her hair was difficult to dry, so she returned to the study, opened her laptop, intending to complete the tasks she had planned for the day but failed due to low efficiency. Yet, as her fingers lightly tapped on the keyboard, she couldn’t help but think of the long, shocking knife cut on Lin Xian’s white-as-jade index finger.
It happened while she was preparing dinner for her.
If she hadn’t noticed, would Lin Xian have intended not to tell her?
She suddenly remembered the proud look on the girl’s face the first time she cooked ginger soup for her, like a little milk puppy whose fur had been petted smoothly. Today, shouldn’t Lin Xian have been excited and happy as well? When she sent her a text message, did she hope that she would praise her more, expecting some comfort after satisfying herself?
At that time, she was too caught up in wanting to avoid it. Did she completely forget to consider Lin Xian’s feelings?
Is Lin Xian feeling very disappointed and disheartened?
Xiao Wanqing suddenly becomes restless, consumed by guilt.
Shortly after midnight, approaching one o’clock, Xiao Wanqing closed the study’s light with a heavy heart, afraid of waking Lin Xian. She quietly tiptoed into the kitchen and then closed the kitchen door.
She opened the refrigerator and saw three dishes, a combination of meat and vegetables, covered with plastic wrap, a small pot of nearly overflowing soup, and a bowl of white rice. Her heart felt even more sour and bitter.
She was well aware of Lin Xian’s cooking skills.
When making tomato scrambled eggs, Lin Xian would step back several steps in fear because of the hot oil splashing when pouring the eggs. When preparing these dishes, the splattering oil from the hot oil meeting the washed vegetables, with water still clinging to them, would be much more terrifying than eggs. Lin Xian must have shown great courage and effort to successfully complete them.
She should have been by Lin Xian’s side, teaching her, supporting her, and encouraging her.
But she failed to acknowledge her and share the experience with her.
With her eyes lowered, she took out the rice and dishes and heated them one by one in the microwave. Then, at one o’clock in the morning, she devoutly finished a whole bowl of white rice, most of the soup, and a large portion of the dishes at the dining table, facing Lin Xian’s empty seat opposite her.
She ridiculed herself, unsure whether she was atoning or rewarding herself.
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Eating outside normal meal times and indulging in excessive food intake resulted in her experiencing stomach pain at two-thirty in the night, making it difficult for her to sleep. After taking two digestive and stomach pain relief pills, she yawned and wandered around the bedroom for over an hour before finally succumbing to drowsiness and falling into a deep sleep on the bed.
Unexpectedly, even after a nap, the pain had not completely subsided. Her stomach still felt, vaguely, that something was bothering it.
This kind of pain, surprisingly, slightly alleviated the guilt that emerged from the sweetness of Lin Xian’s tender care and consideration in Xiao Wanqing’s heart. In the midst of the pain, she seemed to have found a momentary balance and a brief respite.
Xiao Wanqing bitterly smiled, does this count as drinking poison to quench her thirst?
Shamefully, for a moment, she even felt that she was enjoying it.
The sun slowly rose from the horizon, and the rosy light gradually illuminated the earth. The warm heat shone through the glass window onto Xiao Wanqing, who was wearing an apron and busily working at the stove.
As soon as Lin Xian woke up, she immediately jumped out of bed, disregarding her shoes, and rushed out of the room. She saw that Xiao Wanqing’s door was already wide open, and her heart panicked for a moment. Fortunately, just as her nose started to tingle and her eyes began to well up with sadness, she heard the dull sound of the spatula hitting the bottom of the pan coming from the kitchen.
The corners of her drooping lips suddenly curled up. She hurriedly ran towards the kitchen.
In slow motion, like a scene from a movie, she saw her beloved one, dressed in a milky-white robe, slender figure, with a delicate red apron tied around her waist, accentuating her slender waist. Bathed in the gentle golden light, she slightly tilted her head, naturally lifting the strands of hair near her ears, revealing her fair and delicate ears, and the smooth and charming lines along the edges of her cheeks.
As if afraid of waking the person in the painting, Lin Xian’s lips curved higher.
She arched her eyebrows, her eyes filled with tenderness, and she lightened her footsteps, gradually approaching Xiao Wanqing. Then, she reached out her hand, tightly embracing Xiao Wanqing from behind, affectionately pressing her soft and tender cheek against Xiao Wanqing’s warm back.
“Good morning, Aunt Xiao,” she said with a voice that carried a slightly husky and lazy tone of just waking up, a pleasant tone that fell somewhere between a girl and a woman.
The moment Xiao Wanqing’s body suddenly fell into a soft embrace, her body stiffened, and her heartbeat seemed to skip a beat. It wasn’t due to surprise or panic, but because she could sense that it was Lin Xian’s breath.
Her body, at some point unknown to her, seemed to have accepted Lin Xian. Only Lin Xian could approach her in such ignorance and closeness without resistance or rejection, allowed by her instincts.
Although she was completely unguarded and unprepared, it felt as if she had made preparations in advance, as if there were already expectations, and even desires that she was unwilling to admit.
Listening to the captivating voice by her ear, Xiao Wanqing tightly gripped the spatula, forcefully ignoring her unusual heartbeat and heightened sensitivity. She silently took a deep breath, steadied her voice, just like every other morning, and gently greeted the girl behind her, “Good morning, Xianxian.”
She paused, satisfied with her own voice and tone, before asking again, “Why did you wake up so early? Did I disturb your sleep?” She had deliberately calculated the time for Lin Xian to wake up and set the alarm clock, ensuring that she had everything prepared, breakfast eaten, and ready to leave for work before Lin Xian woke up.
Lin Xian waking up at this time was completely unexpected.
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Holding Xiao Wanqing’s fragrant and soft body, Lin Xian lightly rubbed her cheek against Xiao Wanqing’s back, acting spoiled and tenderly saying, “No, I set the alarm clock myself to wake up early.”
Xiao Wanqing’s body slightly shifted uncomfortably. She turned off the stove and casually asked, “Why didn’t you sleep a little longer?”
With a soft, slightly hoarse voice, Lin Xian sounded a bit unconsciously aggrieved, pitifully saying, “I was afraid that if I woke up late, you would have left and I wouldn’t be able to see you.” Her voice carried a milky, soft, and sincere tone.
Like an arrow shot from the sky, her words naturally and effortlessly hit Xiao Wanqing’s trembling heart with scorching heat, causing even the body pressed against her to become burning hot.
Xiao Wanqing looked up, revealing her beautiful yet tense neck line, with a barely noticeable trembling, and helplessly called out Lin Xian’s name, “Lin Xian…” She wanted to say, Lin Xian, stay away from me. Lin Xian, don’t come near me, don’t talk to me, and certainly don’t flirt with me.
Lin Xian raised her head in confusion and softly responded, “Huh?”
The weight pressing on her back suddenly lifted, and there was a slight lightness on her body. The burning heat in Xiao Wanqing’s heart, restrained by her self-control, slowly cooled down with the faintly felt flow of cool air against her back.
Lin Xian, how innocent she is…
She regained her composure and gently freed herself from Lin Xian’s embrace. Carrying the freshly cooked carrot and egg stir-fry, she walked towards the dining table outside the kitchen. As she walked, she tried to dissuade Lin Xian, “But I might be a little busy during this period. It will be tiring for you to wake up so early every day.”
Lin Xian followed Xiao Wanqing step by step, indifferent to her concerns, and replied, “It’s okay. During my final sprint in high school, I used to wake up even earlier than this.”
Xiao Wanqing placed the dish on the table and turned around, only to realize that Lin Xian had been barefoot all this time. Her expression changed slightly, and she forgot the words she wanted to say to prevent it. Her eyebrows furrowed, she pulled a chair from the dining table and placed it a few steps away from Lin Xian, and gently scolded her with concern, “Why aren’t you wearing slippers? And you’ve been standing for so long, don’t you feel cold?”
With both hands resting on the chair, Lin Xian swung her legs up and down in the air like a child, with a playful smile on her face, teasing the caring and gentle woman before her, “Aunt Xiao, you’re so fierce.”
Xiao Wanqing was taken aback by her words, looking at her bright smile, feeling completely helpless. She sighed and softened her voice, “Just sit here and wait for me, okay?” With that, she turned around and walked towards Lin Xian’s room, obviously going to fetch her slippers.
Sure enough, after a moment, she reappeared in front of Lin Xian, holding Lin Xian’s cotton slippers.
Her concern overwhelmed her to the point where she forgot everything.
She squatted down, seemingly unconcerned, and gently touched Lin Xian’s soft feet. Feeling the coolness in her hands, she lovingly lowered her head and blew a warm breath onto Lin Xian’s little feet. After blowing, she still felt a bit annoyed and lightly tapped Lin Xian’s feet, playfully scolding her with a mix of indulgence and faux anger, “If I don’t give you a little smack, will you never learn?”
Lin Xian’s dark eyes blinked, staring unwaveringly at Xiao Wanqing’s actions, her heart melting. She lowered her gaze, looking at the woman in front of her who gently slipped on the cotton slippers, and softly sighed, “Aunt Xiao, the way you do this…” It’s so captivating. Her words trailed off, swallowed by her own reason.
Xiao Wanqing instinctively looked up at Lin Xian and asked her, “What do you mean by ‘the way I do this’?”
Lin Xian’s eyes narrowed, deep and unfathomable, her tone unlike usual, and she lightly smiled, a smile that seemed meaningful, “Nothing.” It carried a hint of significance.
Xiao Wanqing’s heart suddenly skipped a beat, and she stood up abruptly, swallowing hard, feeling anxious inside… Did she just show something? Or did she go too far? Does Lin Xian suspect something?
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She turned around, pretending to be calm, and sat at the dining table, looking at the hot dishes on the table, suppressing the anxiety in her voice, she urged Lin Xian, “Go brush your teeth and wash your face, we’ll eat together.”
Lin Xian, without any suspicion, stood up cheerfully and replied, “Okay, Aunt Xiao, you must wait for me. I’ll be right back.” Once again, displaying her familiar innocence.
Xiao Wanqing breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that Lin Xian probably didn’t notice anything. Perhaps it was her own guilty conscience that made her overly suspicious. She lowered her head, resting it on the dining table, a strong sense of powerlessness arising within her. Regretfully, she thought that she had once again crossed the line she had previously set for herself.
Her stomach ached again, and the heavy sense of shame and guilt mingled with the uncontrollable joy and happiness, rushing towards her like a tide, mercilessly engulfing her in an instant.
She struggled to catch her breath.
She felt a sense of fear and clarity, as the fortified defenses she had been building were still crumbling under the relentless but unintentional onslaught from Lin Xian, wave after wave.
It felt as if one foot was already dangling over a bottomless abyss…