Auntie Xiao, I’ve been having a one-sided love on someone for a long time
Inside a certain upscale brand store near the escalator leading to the second floor of the shopping mall, a tall and graceful young girl stood silently in front of a display window, earnestly examining two different styles of scarves showcased in the cabinet. She hesitated, unable to make a decision.
In the pocket of her beige long coat, her slender left hand tightly gripped a thin, rigid bank card, almost causing a faint pain in her hand. The bank card was square and neat, and the firm grip made her hand ache slightly.
For a moment, she heard the arrogant and disdainful words that Shi Jinglan had said to her a few days ago, echoing in her ears. A flicker of sadness and pain flashed through her bright and star-like eyes.
Perhaps Shi Jinglan was right…
It was a few days ago when Shi Jinglan had a rare day off at home. Xia Zhijin, who was also on vacation, would soon be heading back to her hometown to celebrate the Spring Festival with her grandmother and younger sister, just as she did every year.
Despite Shi Jinglan’s condescending and arrogant attitude, which made Xia Zhijin see the true colors of Shi Jinglan, realizing that Shi Jinglan was not the kind of peaceful and kind Auntie she had admired and respected for many years, Xia Zhijin couldn’t deny the favors and help Shi Jinglan had shown to her and her family over the years. Xia Zhijin was someone who understood propriety.
Therefore, she thought that when she returned home in a few days, Shi Jinglan might be away on another business trip. So, taking advantage of the day when Shi Jinglan was resting at home, she went to bid her farewell first.
The ancestral home of the Shi family had always been inhabited by Shi Jinglan’s father’s immediate ancestors. The villa where Shi Jinglan and Shi Man lived was purchased by Shi Jinglan after she started working at Shi Xing Group. The villa was located in a rare area close to the city yet surrounded by mountains and by the sea. Around it, there were one luxurious villa after another, making it a famous wealthy area in Anjiang. On the top floor of the Shi family’s villa, a glass-domed observation garden was specially designed according to Shi Jinglan’s preferences. It was filled with flowers and plants personally selected by Shi Jinglan, and there was even a small lawn. Sometimes, when Shi Jinglan rested at home, she liked to be alone on the rooftop, trimming the flowers and plants, enjoying tea, and admiring the view. Shi Man jokingly remarked that Shi Jinglan spent more time with her beloved plants and flowers than with her own daughter.
As expected, Xia Zhijin went straight to the rooftop, and she noticed that the door was partially closed, indicating that someone was inside.
She stood at the doorway and politely reached out to lightly knock on the door, announcing her arrival, “Auntie Shi, may I come in?”
As soon as she finished speaking, she heard Shi Jinglan’s calm and composed response, “Come in.”
She pushed the door open, and what came into view was Shi Jinglan wearing an elegant silk nightgown, casually draped with a robe. Her legs were crossed, half reclining on a lounge chair. Her delicate and glossy jade-like feet were exposed to the warm sunlight, and her slender and fair calves with graceful lines were partly visible. It was a lazy and alluring appearance of Shi Jinglan that Xia Zhijin had never seen before.
For a moment, Xia Zhijin absentmindedly thought that, in a way, Manman resembled her mother.
Upon seeing Xia Zhijin approaching gradually, Shi Jinglan casually sat up, planted her bare feet on the soft carpet, and walked to the side of the coffee table. She opened the water heater on the tea set and her tranquil eyes lightly swept over Xia Zhijin. She greeted her, “Have a seat. What kind of tea would you like?”
Xia Zhijin regained her composure, her face cold and emotionless. She slightly lowered her head, her gaze fixed on the mahogany coffee table, and politely declined, “No need, Auntie Shi. I just came to inform you that I’ll be going back to my hometown to celebrate the Lunar New Year with my grandmother and younger sister. I already ate, and I’m here to greet Auntie.”
Shi Jinglan seemed indifferent to Xia Zhijin’s tactless refusal and the resistance she exuded, which was quite different from the familiarity they had when they last met. She nonchalantly tore open a packet of tea leaves and responded, seemingly unconcerned, “I see…”
A serene expression settled on her elegant and reserved face as she poured the tea leaves into the utensil, gracefully lowering her head to gently inhale the fragrance of the tea.
Under Shi Jinglan’s ambiguous response and disregard, Xia Zhijin felt a bit uneasy. She stood in silence for a few seconds but eventually couldn’t stay any longer. She spoke up, “There’s nothing else. Auntie Shi, I’ll take my leave now.”
She lifted her leg, about to turn around, but Shi Jinglan suddenly spoke in an indifferent tone, asking her, “Won’t you bring them out to live together?”
Xia Zhijin’s footsteps halted, and she finally raised her gaze to look at Shi Jinglan seriously.
Shi Jinglan was also looking at her. Her usually neatly tied-up black hair now casually fell over her shoulders, lending her a touch of softness, which diminished some of her aloofness and solemnity. The already gentle and mild aura she possessed now had an additional hint of tenderness. However, as Xia Zhijin gazed into her eyes, deep and unfathomable like an ancient pool, devoid of any trace of a smile, she once again realized—this woman’s gentleness and calmness were nothing but a habitual façade she had developed for business purposes.
Her voice turned colder as she replied to Shi Jinglan, “No need. They are living well at home.”
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A faint arc appeared at the corner of Shi Jinglan’s lips, a smile that seemed almost mocking, as if she earnestly wanted to find the answer. She asked Xia Zhijin, “You didn’t take that money. Are you planning to return it to me when you break up with Shi Man in a couple of years?”
Xia Zhijin bit her lip and looked at Shi Jinglan without saying a word.
She heard Shi Jinglan sigh under her silence, a sigh tinged with a touch of regret. “Zhijin, you have been dealing with the Shi family for so many years, yet you still can’t learn the shrewdness ingrained in the Shi family’s business people.”
Shi Jinglan’s serene gaze remained fixed on Xia Zhijin as she spoke in a gentle tone, resembling an elder instructing and caring for a younger relative. “You promised me that you would be with Shi Man, so the money you received is rightfully yours. It’s only fair. If the outcome is already destined and cannot be changed, then you need to learn to maximize your own interests.”
A ripple finally stirred within Xia Zhijin’s calm gaze under Shi Jinglan’s calculating words. She clenched her fists slightly, a restrained anger and unwillingness boiling in her eyes. She wanted to tell her loudly that she didn’t get together with Shi Man for money or favors. She wanted to rebuke Shi Jinglan, to convey that emotions couldn’t be measured by gains and losses as in ordinary transactions.
However, in the end, faced with Shi Jinglan’s seemingly knowing smile, as if she saw through everything, Xia Zhijin chose to silently turn her body and leave.
Shi Jinglan, a person like her, would never understand. She wouldn’t understand.
Why bother playing the zither to a cow and sacrificing her pitiful self-esteem to let this noble wealthy person mock and ridicule her again?
Humiliation, once is enough. As a person, one should know their place.
However, Shi Jinglan refused to let her go. Just as she was about to step out of the door, Shi Jinglan’s voice, soft and lazy, sounded like a soliloquy, filled with emotions. “Zhijin, you’re so proud. Do you really like Shi Man?”
With a hint of contempt in her voice, she commanded, “Take the money. Consider it as an advance allowance I’m giving you for Shi Man. I don’t want her to have a difficult first love that is constrained by your financial difficulties, living in a tight and suffocating manner.”
Xia Zhijin stood at the entrance of the building, facing away from the rising sun, her slender figure standing upright. After a moment, she took a step forward, each footfall heavy and burdened, descending the steps.
The darkness in the hallway gradually swallowed her whole.
She didn’t have much to give, but she was willing to offer everything to Shi Man. As long as Shi Man wanted it, she would give it.
She asked herself, and she felt no guilt in her heart.
But at this moment, as Xia Zhijin stood in front of the counter, a sudden sense of confusion washed over her. She had given her all, but in the end, wasn’t it still a form of submission, a form of compromise, for Shi Man’s sake?
Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing were tired from shopping and were preparing to take the escalator to the third-floor dining area. As they passed by the vicinity of the escalator, Lin Xian’s eyes casually swept over the nearby store and caught sight of a familiar figure. She immediately tugged at Xiao Wanqing’s hand, signaling her to stop.
“Aunt Xiao, isn’t that Sister Zhijin?” Lin Xian voiced her confusion.
Upon hearing the remark, Xiao Wanqing halted her steps and looked in the direction of Lin Xian’s gaze. In front of a display window with several layers of items, there was a slightly slouched and melancholic girl who was unmistakably Xia Zhijin.
She nodded and replied to Lin Xian, “Yes, that’s Zhijin.”
Lin Xian immediately became excited and pulled Xiao Wanqing’s hand, walking towards the store. “What a coincidence. I’ll go say hello to them. Once we return to the southern district, we probably won’t see each other during this winter break.” She assumed that wherever Xia Zhijin was, Shi Man would be there too.
Unexpectedly, her estimation this time was mistaken.
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Inside the store, beside Xia Zhijin, there was an empty space, and to her surprise, Xia Zhijin was all alone.
Lin Xian nudged the absent-minded Xia Zhijin’s arm and asked with a smile, “Sister Zhijin, what a coincidence! What are you doing here?”
Xia Zhijin looked up and turned around, only then noticing Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing standing beside her, whom she didn’t realize had been there for some time. Her cool expression softened slightly, and a faint warm smile appeared as she replied, “Aunt Xiao, Xianxian, are you here shopping too? I’m helping Manman choose scarves.”
Upon hearing Shi Man’s name, Lin Xian once again looked around and couldn’t help but ask in confusion, “What about Manman? Are you alone?”
The mention of Shi Man brought a hint of evident melancholy to Xia Zhijin’s expression. She pursed her lips and whispered in a disappointed tone, “On New Year’s Eve, Manman said she wanted a scarf, but I kept delaying and still haven’t bought it for her. She’s angry.”
In her mind, she recalled the image of the girl from the previous night, pointing at the luggage she was packing to go home, her eyes red and filled with tears. In her beautiful eyes, there was a welling up of tears as she questioned Xia Zhijin, “Do you only remember your sister? Xia Zhijin, do you think that because I have money, I can buy everything myself and lack nothing, so you don’t need to care about me at all?”
A sharp pain surged in her heart once again.
How could she explain? It wasn’t that she had forgotten, but her abilities were insufficient. She was sorry for making her wait for so long.
After New Year’s Eve, she was planning to buy the scarf for Shi Man. However, she didn’t have enough money. She couldn’t even afford the lowest-end brand that Shi Man had used before. She had been waiting, waiting until she received the payment for the past two weeks of lessons, and then she would be able to afford it. But Shi Man had expressed her dissatisfaction and grievances before her.
She looked at the tearful and aggrieved face of her beloved girl, her own eyes welling up with heat and her nose tingling with a sour sensation. But how could she say it, how could she tell her, “Manman, it’s not intentional. I just can’t afford it.”
All she could do was wipe her tears and coax her, “Shall I go buy it tomorrow?” But the girl seemed to have been deeply hurt, pushing her away and giving her a disappointed look before running back to her room and locking the door.
In the morning, Shi Man refused to come out of her room to eat. Clearly, the anger hadn’t subsided, and she didn’t want to see her.
Lin Xian, however, found it strange and asked, “Weren’t you knitting a scarf all this time? Why don’t you just give her that?”
Xia Zhijin was surprised and asked, “How did you know?”
Lin Xian smiled and said, “Manman mentioned it. She said you’ve been knitting a scarf for a while, wondering if it’s a surprise for her. She has been looking forward to it for a long time.”
In an instant, tumultuous waves surged in Xia Zhijin’s eyes. It was as if she suddenly understood something, a mix of heartache, tenderness, and joy flooded her heart, leaving her with a myriad of emotions.
No wonder Shi Man had become so disappointed and saddened upon realizing that the items in the suitcase were meant to be taken home, and that the scarf was intended for her younger sister, Xia Zhiqi.
But… but…
Xia Zhijin bit her lip and murmured an explanation, “That scarf is meant for my younger sister. Self-knitted scarves don’t look good; they are only for warmth. Zhiqi has nothing to do in the countryside, but Manman, how could she make use of it?” Her pride prevented her from speaking. She even feared that if Shi Man wore the scarf she bought here while accompanying Shi Jinglan to visit friends or attending social events, she would be mocked for not being sophisticated enough. She had already witnessed the arrogance of the Shi family and the wealthy people in their circle.
Upon hearing her words, Lin Xian couldn’t help but feel frustrated. She furrowed her brows and said, “Sister Zhijin, Manman is the type of person who would happily show off even a grasshopper made of dogtail grass that you casually give her. Do you think she wants just a scarf from you? What she wants is your thoughtfulness.” She sighed, softened her tone, and teased, “As long as it’s something you, Sister Zhijin, give her, she would be happy even if it’s just a ball of yarn, no need for knitting. She would gladly wear it when going out.”
Xia Zhijin was slightly taken aback, her usually composed expression showing a hint of confusion.
Xiao Wanqing gently patted Xia Zhijin’s shoulder and comforted her in a soft voice, “Zhijin, to Manman, your thoughtfulness is more precious than anything else. It’s priceless.” She hesitated for a moment, recalling the night when Xia Zhijin held her in despair, and spoke a potentially offensive sentence following her instincts, “Zhijin, Manman, she has everything, so she cares even less about material possessions.” She paused, speaking earnestly, “Perhaps what she cares about is you.”
Xia Zhijin’s expression shifted slightly, and a mist seemed to envelop her gaze. After a while, she let go of the hand that had been clutching the bank card, and a relieved smile gradually appeared on her lips.
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With a gentle expression, she thanked Lin Xian and Xiao Wanqing, “I understand now. Thank you.” Then, seemingly eager, she turned around and walked away, each step lighter and more hurried, heading towards the exit of the shopping mall…
Lin Xian smiled with a curved mouth as she watched Xia Zhijin walk away into the distance. However, Xiao Wanqing turned around and lightly flicked Lin Xian’s nose, playfully teasing her, “I didn’t know our Xianxian is actually a love expert. You analyzed it so accurately, hitting the nail on the head.”
Lin Xian glanced back at Xiao Wanqing’s radiant smile, biting her lip, and half-jokingly self-mocking, “I’ve just become skilled at it due to a long illness.”
Her understanding of Shi Man’s thoughts, her understanding of Shi Man’s grievances, all stemmed from the fact that she and Shi Man had once shared the same illness and found solace in each other. Practice makes perfect.
Xiao Wanqing didn’t understand, but she keenly sensed an inexplicable seriousness and sadness in the girl’s voice. Her eyebrows slightly furrowed, her playful demeanor fading, and she asked with a hint of unease, “Huh?”
Initially, Lin Xian only made a passing remark and didn’t intend to say much. However, she caught a glimpse of a slight change in Xiao Wanqing’s expression upon hearing her words, which rarely carried a hint of gravity. Lin Xian’s eyes flickered, and suddenly, she changed her mind.
She lowered her clear eyebrows, a hint of melancholy enveloping her expression. Her voice was soft and tinged with both truth and falsehood as she replied to Xiao Wanqing, “I, like Manman, have been harboring a one-sided love for someone for a long time.”
“Longing turns into illness, and long-term illness becomes expertise.” She gazed deeply into Xiao Wanqing’s eyes, each word spoken with profound meaning.
The gentle smile that still lingered on Xiao Wanqing’s lips froze in an instant. Her eyes abruptly changed, and in her heart, there was a sudden jolt.