STT – Chapter 45

For you, thousands and thousands of times.

When Jiang Huaixi woke up, it was still dark outside. The window revealed a deep, inky blackness, with only the faint sounds of birds chirping and waves crashing. Everything felt both unfamiliar and familiar at the same time.

Jiang Huaixi reached out her right hand to check the time on the alarm clock beside her, then gently rubbed her eyes, feeling slightly annoyed, as if she had woken up a bit too early. As she slightly turned her body, she felt a gentle, warm breath by her ear. Turning her face, she saw Lu Zizheng’s calm and serene sleeping face magnified in front of her. Jiang Huaixi squinted slightly, observing Lu Zizheng’s relaxed eyebrows and the slight curve of her lips, which inadvertently softened her gaze, filling it with tenderness.

Unable to resist, she moved closer to Lu Zizheng and gently kissed the tip of her small, delicate nose. She then saw Lu Zizheng, seeming to sense it, pout her lips as if disturbed from a good dream, looking slightly annoyed, with a rarely seen adorable expression that softened Jiang Huaixi’s heart repeatedly.

Jiang Huaixi restrained her somewhat eager heart, moved slightly away from Lu Zizheng, and reached out her hand again, wanting to touch Lu Zizheng’s face. Just then, Lu Zizheng moved her body and suddenly opened her eyes abruptly.

Jiang Huaixi, feeling guilty, quickly withdrew her outstretched hand. In her haste, she accidentally knocked the alarm clock onto the floor, producing a loud noise.

Lu Zizheng, startled, looked at Jiang Huaixi with some confusion, using a somewhat surprised and husky, lazy voice that comes right after waking up, asked, “Huaixi, what happened…”

It was the first time Jiang Huaixi heard her voice sound so lazily sexy, and for a moment, her heart skipped a beat. Looking at Lu Zizheng’s beautifully confused, half-asleep, half-awake face, it was as if a feather was lightly tickling her heart, making it itch and tingle. She turned her head back to hide her overly intense gaze and loss of composure, gently cleared her throat, and pretended to be calm and composed as she said, “Nothing, I accidentally knocked over the alarm clock. Why did you wake up so early?”

Lu Zizheng, still with somewhat sleepy eyes, glanced at the night sky still enveloped in dark blue, and said somewhat embarrassedly, “Maybe it’s because I just changed beds, and I’m not used to sleeping here. Did I wake you?”

Jiang Huaixi couldn’t help but find it amusing. To be precise, it should have been herself who woke Lu Zizheng. She looked at the sky outside the window, which was not yet bright, thought for a moment, and asked, “Can’t sleep? Then why don’t we get up and head out early for a walk on the beach. How does that sound?”

Lu Zizheng, already without any sleepiness, nodded in agreement and promptly sat up, got out of bed, and went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face.

She stood at the bathroom sink, squeezed some toothpaste, got some water, and was about to start brushing when she looked up and saw Jiang Huaixi’s fair, clean face appear beside her own in the mirror. At that moment, Jiang Huaixi was simply wearing a robe over her pajamas, holding a toothbrush in one hand and toothpaste in the other, seriously squeezing it out. Her head was lowered, and her long, smooth black hair flowed gracefully over her cheeks, her face faintly visible, inexplicably sexy and beautiful, yet somewhat cute.

Lu Zizheng couldn’t help but turn her head, staring at Jiang Huaixi, blankly and motionless. For a moment, she couldn’t quite tell if this was real or if she was still dreaming.

Jiang Huaixi lifted her head and saw Lu Zizheng staring at her dazedly, her uncombed bangs naturally curling slightly upwards, and her lips moist from the toothbrush, looking especially endearing. She couldn’t help but curl the corners of her lips, stretched out her hand, moved to stand in front of Lu Zizheng, gently grabbed Lu Zizheng’s toothbrush, and softly moved it twice, teasingly saying, “Looking at me so pitifully, are you asking me to help you brush your teeth? I won’t refuse then.”

Lu Zizheng, biting the toothbrush, jumped away in a panic, her face slightly blushing, nervously mumbling, “No, no, I… I seem to be not quite fully awake, just go ahead and do your own thing.”

Jiang Huaixi’s smile deepened as she filled her own cup with water and said wistfully, “Then that’s really a pity…”

Lu Zizheng gently rubbed her brow, looking somewhat annoyed.

After a simple breakfast, they went out together, walking shoulder to shoulder along the narrow, long cement road at a leisurely pace. The dim sky cast a veil of tranquility over everything in sight, as if Ji’an village was still dreaming. The clean, fresh, and cool morning breeze unique to the seaside, with its salty taste, made Lu Zizheng instantly fully awake, allowing her to feel refreshingly clear-headed. Lu Zizheng looked ahead, occasionally unable to resist sneaking a sideways glance at Jiang Huaixi once or twice.

Not long after walking leisurely along the cement road, Lu Zizheng saw the endless sea clearly displayed before her. She turned her face and saw Jiang Huaixi’s lips bearing a faint smile, pointing to the wooden walkway on the sea not far away, and softly said to her, “When I was young, I often went out early to sit there, waiting for the sun to rise. Do you want to watch the sunrise here?”

Lu Zizheng’s face instantly displayed a look of longing. She gazed at the wooden walkway and then at the still dark line where the sea meets the sky, smiling: “I want to.”

She had often longed to walk the paths Jiang Huaixi walked, see the scenery Jiang Huaixi saw, grasp the pulse of life Jiang Huaixi once leapt with, understand her a little more, then a little more, and perhaps she could get a little closer to Jiang Huaixi’s heart, then a little closer…

Jiang Huaixi took Lu Zizheng to a slightly clean spot on the wooden walkway, where they sat on the ground. They watched the women with green nets bending over to pick oysters and the barefoot children playing, flying kites, and picking shells. Her heart was slightly moved, as if, in those moments, she saw times long past, everything just like it was at the beginning.

Year after year, the scenery remains similar, but the people change.

Jiang Huaixi gazed deeply at the beach and softly spoke to Lu Zizheng, “Zizheng, you see, the people here have been working like this from morning until night, every single day, year after year, without change. I once could not understand what meaning such a life holds, or what kind of belief sustains them.”

This side of Jiang Huaixi—lonely and somewhat negative—was one Lu Zizheng had never seen before, and it made her feel uneasy. She had repeatedly questioned herself about how well she truly knew Jiang Huaixi, and at this moment, she sadly realized that the answer was, not at all.

With a faint smile, Jiang Huaixi gently blinked at Lu Zizheng, offering reassurance, and calmly continued, “I came here when I was 12. Initially, I missed home and often suffered from insomnia, waking up at three or four in the morning. I would toss and turn in bed, feeling the emptiness of the room, and in my daze, it seemed the world was vast and lonely, as if only I remained. So later, as soon as the sky began to brighten, I would eagerly go out, come here, and watch these busy people, seeking some sense of liveliness. In the morning, I would watch the sun rise from the horizon, and in the evening, see it slowly disappear again, realizing that another meaningless day had passed. Many times, I watched the sun move westward bit by bit, pondering that life is just about coming naked and leaving naked, so why must we endure such an ordeal in this world? Leaving early, perhaps, is also considered an early relief.”

Lu Zizheng looked blankly at Jiang Huaixi, biting her lip, waiting for Jiang Huaixi’s next words, feeling a bit confused and melancholic.

Jiang Huaixi let out a light laugh, turned her head, and with a sly look in her eyes said, “Zizheng, wasn’t I especially wise back then, seeing through the true meaning of life early on?”

Lu Zizheng was amused by her self-praise, and the melancholy in her heart eased a little. She chuckled softly but didn’t answer her.

Jiang Huaixi stopped smiling, sighed gently, and said, “At that time, my health wasn’t very good, and I was often tormented by illness, which made my mood increasingly downcast. I couldn’t find the meaning of my existence, and living each day felt like completing a task that had to be done, leading to greater despondency. Aunt Lin saw it and quietly remembered it.” At this point, Jiang Huaixi specifically added, “Aunt Lin, although she seems a bit clumsy, is actually very perceptive. Hmm, Zizheng, if you learn more from Aunt Lin in the future, it might save me some worry.”

Lu Zizheng’s expression couldn’t help but darken slightly, and she retorted with irony, “You’ve been with Aunt Lin for so many years, and it seems you haven’t learned much either.” Did she catch that Huaixi’s health wasn’t good when she was young?

Jiang Huaixi laughed lightly, not minding, as she looked at the increasingly bright sky and the growing number of people on the beach, her gaze gradually becoming distant: “One day, when Aunt Lin came to cook for me, she suddenly handed me a green-wrapped package and told me it was a new variety of flower that her daughter had cultivated. She noticed that I was usually quite bored, and if I was interested, I could try planting it to relieve my boredom and see what kind of flower it would eventually bloom into.”

“At that time, I didn’t pay much attention, just casually thanked her and put it in the drawer in the living room. Aunt Lin hesitated for a long time and then said to me, ‘Don’t be angry when I say this. Sometimes I see you always looking unhappy, but I’m the clumsiest, not good with words. Once, you asked me what I thought the meaning of life was, and I couldn’t answer. A few days ago, my daughter came back, and I told her about your situation, so she asked me to bring this package of seeds to you.

She’s a horticulturist, and she wanted me to tell you that when she cultivates new varieties of flowers, she always excessively anticipates whether it will blossom into the flower she desires, but during that time, no matter how much she worries, it’s useless. She has to wait until it finally blooms to know the answer. And the meaning of life is much like this; whatever kind of flower life wants to bloom for you, you have to wait until the seed sprouts and blooms to understand. If you want to give up before the seed sprouts, then you will never know the answer. Since the seeds have been planted, rather than worrying endlessly, it’s better to be full of hope, and during the days of waiting for them to bloom, enjoy the expectation, making the days a bit brighter.'”

Jiang Huaixi withdrew her gaze from the distance: “That day, I found a pot, planted those seeds, watered them every day, and let them bask in the sun, anticipating what kind of flowers they would bloom into. Because of that anticipation, life seemed a bit better.” She turned her head to look at Lu Zizheng, with a gentle light in her eyes, her voice carrying a faint tender affection: “The year I entered college, I saw the seed of life bloom for me for the first time, and I named it ‘Meeting Love’…”

Lu Zizheng’s heart trembled slightly.

Jiang Huaixi gently placed her hand over Lu Zizheng’s hand resting on the wooden board, lightly clasping it: “Zizheng, I don’t know what kind of flowers bloomed in your life twenty years ago, but I really want to see the flowers in your remaining life that are about to bloom. Please don’t give up, and look forward with me, okay?”

Lu Zizheng’s eyes became instantly moist, a faint mist covering them, still in a daze when Jiang Huaixi suddenly raised her voice slightly to remind her: “Zizheng, look…”

Following Jiang Huaixi’s gaze, Lu Zizheng saw the morning sun finally rise from the sea horizon, and in an instant, the radiance was magnificent. Everything on the beach, like a black and white oil painting, was suddenly tinted with color by a miraculous artist, making everything vibrant. The never-stopping tides, the fishermen with rolled-up pants, the children running barefoot pulling kite strings, all were so full of vibrant life…

Jiang Huaixi extended her slender fingers, pointing distantly at the kite trembling in the blue sky, and calmly and gently said: “Zizheng, our life is like that kite flown by the child. We don’t know when, but there will come a time when the kite’s string breaks and it falls, but it cannot refuse to fly for this reason. As long as someone picks up the kite, reattaches the string and repairs it, it can soar in the sky again. Only by continuously flying higher and further can the kite know how vast the outside world is, and we, only by continuing to move forward, can know what kind of flower the planted seed will bloom in life.”

Jiang Huaixi’s words, like a gentle warmth, slowly smoothed Lu Zizheng’s heart, and the places covered with ice and snow seemed to start gradually melting, revealing the fertile land beneath that could nurture seeds to bloom…

She glanced at Lu Zizheng, her gaze fixed, speaking in a gentle tone: “Zizheng, I am willing to be the one who picks up your kite, thousands and thousands of times. And you, are you willing to fly once more for me?” Jiang Huaixi, typically possessing a cool and aloof demeanor, at this moment, radiated warmth and tenderness from within.

Lu Zizheng looked at Jiang Huaixi’s earnest and gentle face, gazing directly into her eyes and heart, for a long time… Finally, a gentle smile bloomed at the corner of Lu Zizheng’s lips, and she said: “Huaixi, for you, thousands and thousands of times…”

If I can have you in my life, then I choose to love.

If I can have you in my life, then I choose to look forward to it.

As long as there is you, it can only be you.

For you, thousands and thousands of times.

LP: Re-translated on September 05, 2024