How two timid people talk about a brave love.
“Zizheng…” Jiang Huaixi’s cold voice, carrying an unsteady breath, sounded from afar, breaking the sudden awkward atmosphere between Lu Zizheng and Mother Jiang.
Lu Zizheng bit her lip, took a deep breath, adjusted her emotions, stabilized her voice, and then responded: “Huaixi, Auntie and I are here.”
After a burst of hurried, flustered “pat-pat” footsteps, Jiang Huaixi soon appeared in front of Lu Zizheng and Mother Jiang. Perhaps because she walked in a hurry, her nose tip was sweating lightly despite the cold weather. Breathing lightly, she frowned slightly and looked at Lu Zizheng with some concern. After not getting a response from Lu Zizheng, she looked at Mother Jiang with a questioning look.
She was too familiar with Lu Zizheng. Although Lu Zizheng had tried her best to remain normal, Jiang Huaixi captured the gloom in her eyes at a glance.
Mother Jiang looked down at Jiang Huaixi’s shoes and laughed silently: “How did you come down wearing the cotton slippers from Grandma’s room?” Jiang Huaixi was usually a well-mannered and polite child. Ever since she became sensible, even when there were no outsiders at home, she would never go downstairs in her pajamas. Today, she couldn’t even wait to change shoes and came out wearing the cotton slippers from the bedroom, which showed her tension and concern for Lu Zizheng.
Mother Jiang sighed. Although she had long known that her daughter was probably completely infatuated, at this moment, she couldn’t help but feel a bit displeased and heartbroken. She understood the questioning look in Jiang Huaixi’s eyes but did not intend to answer her. She knew how much Jiang Huaixi cherished Lu Zizheng and how she couldn’t bear to let Lu Zizheng suffer even the slightest bit. But Jiang Huaixi did not know that, as a mother, she cherished her just as much. Even though she knew some words would upset and anger Jiang Huaixi, she had to say them.
Jiang Huaixi did not mind her mother’s question, but she softly called out again, “Mom…” with a hint of pleading in her tone.
Mother Jiang looked at Jiang Huaixi, feeling both helpless and doting. Since she left home, Jiang Huaixi rarely came back a few times a year, let alone spoke to her in such a softened voice. Well, let it be for now.
Mother Jiang raised her hand and gently patted Lu Zizheng’s shoulder, not too lightly, not too heavily, but meaningfully. Her tone was gentle, and she said with a faint smile on her face, “We can continue our conversation later. Now, Auntie needs to go check on the dinner preparations. Let Huaixi take you around the house.” After saying that, she gracefully turned and left.
As soon as Mother Jiang left, Jiang Huaixi’s eyes fixed tightly on Lu Zizheng. Frowning with worry, she asked, “What did my mom say to you?”
Lu Zizheng pursed her lips, relaxed her eyebrows, and pretended to be casual, “We just chatted a bit, and she told me about some silly things you did when you were little.” Seeing Jiang Huaixi still frowning and looking tense, her nose tingled with emotion. She quickly turned around, blinked her eyes to hide it, and continued to change the subject, “Auntie exposed all your secrets. I didn’t expect you to be so adorably silly when you were little. Well, it seems you can’t pretend to be all cool in front of me anymore.”
Jiang Huaixi’s eyes dimmed slightly. She took a light breath, went along with Lu Zizheng’s intention, walked up to stand beside her, and pointed to the small villa in front of them to change the subject, “Do you want to go in and take a look?” She knew Lu Zizheng didn’t want to talk about it, so she didn’t want to force her either.
Lu Zizheng gladly agreed.
Jiang Huaixi pushed open the wooden door of the small villa and, raising her tone, began to dwell on the past again, “When you took me back to your school back then, you only showed me the front gate, making me look from outside the iron gate. Today, I’m taking you into my childhood sanctuary. Tell me, how are you going to repay me with tears of gratitude?”
Lu Zizheng said aggrievedly, “That was because the gatekeeper was on holiday and didn’t let us in.”
Jiang Huaixi bluntly said, “I don’t care about the process, only the result.”
Lu Zizheng snorted softly and muttered, “Tyrant.”
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After really bringing Jiang Huaixi home during the New Year’s Day of their freshman year, Lu Zizheng began to regret it. Once she got into Jiang Huaixi’s car, she started praying for traffic jams, flat tires, or a breakdown. Unfortunately, contrary to her wishes, everything went smoothly that day, and they arrived safely and smoothly at her home in Juzhou.
Lu Zizheng found herself in a difficult situation. Even though she was unwilling, she was too embarrassed to leave Jiang Huaixi outside the house. After leading Jiang Huaixi into the house, she didn’t greet Jiang Huaixi and went straight to greet her mother before entering the bedroom, leaving Jiang Huaixi in the living room, hoping that the cold reception would make Jiang Huaixi sensibly retreat.
In the bedroom, Lu Zizheng could vaguely hear her mother and Jiang Huaixi talking, and occasionally she could hear their laughter. Surprisingly, Jiang Huaixi seemed to be getting along well with her mother, and they were having a pleasant conversation.
Later, she found out that her mother really liked Jiang Huaixi. Because even though it was obvious that she didn’t like Jiang Huaixi, the next day her mother still sent her out, instructing her to take Jiang Huaixi out to walk around and have fun. She even issued a strict order that they were not allowed to return until it was dark.
On the road, she and Jiang Huaixi walked one behind the other, silent and wordless. After walking for a while, Jiang Huaixi suddenly made a request, saying, “Take me to see the place where you used to study.”
Lu Zizheng was slightly stunned. Was this a request or a command? Obviously, she felt it was more like the latter, so she sneered and coldly refused, “I have long forgotten the way. Actually, there’s nothing fun in Juzhou. I can only take you to walk around, visit parks and supermarkets. If you find it boring, you can go back to Linzhou first.”
Jiang Huaixi, however, was indifferent, raising her voice slightly, “Oh? Really? I find it quite fun. The most fun place is your home. I almost wish the New Year’s holiday lasted seven days.”
Just as Lu Zizheng was about to retort to Jiang Huaixi, she saw from afar a long-haired, lovely girl holding hands with a boy, walking sweetly towards them. Her face instantly darkened, and she instructed Jiang Huaixi in a faint voice, “Turn around, go forward, and then turn right.”
Jiang Huaixi, not understanding what was happening, stopped and stood still, asking, “What’s wrong?”
Lu Zizheng turned around, and without another word, grabbed the still-dazed Jiang Huaixi and walked away. Unfortunately, she still heard Zhou Fangfan’s surprised and hesitant call from behind, “Zizheng?”
Lu Zizheng bit her lip and walked even faster. Jiang Huaixi frowned but uncharacteristically quickened her pace to follow Lu Zizheng.
Zhou Fangfan, however, directly let go of her boyfriend’s hand, quickly ran a few steps to catch up with Lu Zizheng from behind, grabbed her hand, and stood in front of her, staring at her in a daze. Her lips trembled for a long time, and after gathering all her courage, she finally managed to ask, “Is it really you? How have you been these years?”
Now that they were face to face, Lu Zizheng became calm and composed. She pulled her hand away from Zhou Fangfan’s, pursed her lips, and smiled faintly, replying, “I’m doing well. Shouldn’t I be?”
Zhou Fangfan murmured, “No… that’s not what I meant…” Just as she wanted to say more, her boyfriend caught up, looked at Lu Zizheng in confusion, and asked, “Fangfan, what’s wrong? Did you meet a friend?” As he spoke, he extended his hand to Lu Zizheng with a bright smile, “Hello, I’m Fangfan’s boyfriend, Xu Yi.”
Lu Zizheng didn’t extend her hand, only nodded faintly at him and then waved to Zhou Fangfan, saying, “I have something to do, I have to go. Goodbye.”
Zhou Fangfan urgently called out, “Wait, Zizheng, can you give me your phone number? I… I still have things I want to say to you.”
Lu Zizheng just paused her steps for a moment and softly responded, “Didn’t you say before that you believe in fate? If we are destined, we will meet again.” Then, she quickened her pace to leave.
Jiang Huaixi glanced back at the sorrowful Zhou Fangfan one more time, then followed Lu Zizheng from a respectful distance.
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After walking for a long time, Lu Zizheng finally stopped in front of a school. The school gate had a sign that read, “Juzhou First Middle School.” Lu Zizheng turned around, and for once, smiled as she said, “Didn’t you want to see my school? This was my middle school.”
Back then, after crying in her mother’s arms at the school gate, she had secretly vowed never to return to this place. Yet now, after meeting Zhou Fangfan, she inexplicably brought Jiang Huaixi here.
She saw Jiang Huaixi curiously looking around the school. She reached out to pull her, catching Jiang Huaixi’s attention, and with a calm expression, said to her, “All the rumors you’ve heard about me are false.”
Jiang Huaixi’s lips curved into a beautiful smile. She looked intently at Lu Zizheng and replied seriously and firmly, “I believe you.”
Her voice and tone were so sincere that Lu Zizheng only responded with a light smile and continued, “But one thing is true: I do like girls. The person you just saw was my first love.”
Jiang Huaixi frowned as she looked at her.
She looked at Jiang Huaixi, with a smile on her lips, carrying a bit of self-mockery and a bit of malicious warning, “So, Jiang Huaixi, stay away from me. I’m a lesbian. For girls, my danger level is no less than that of a pervert.”
At that moment, the smile disappeared from Jiang Huaixi’s lips, her face darkened, and she coldly said, “I’m sorry, but in my dictionary, ‘pervert’ is not defined this way. You insulted yourself and you insulted me.”
Then, her expression softened, and she walked to the iron gate, pointing at a huge locust tree in the campus, casually asking, “That tree is so big. Did you use to cool off under it during summer when you were in school? Can we go in?”
At that moment, Lu Zizheng looked deeply at Jiang Huaixi, without saying a word.
If one must be particular about it, when did Lu Zizheng first feel moved by Jiang Huaixi? Perhaps it was at that moment, or perhaps even earlier. Although Lu Zizheng was unwilling to admit it, she understood subconsciously. Therefore, her warning was probably not only meant for Jiang Huaixi but also for herself. She wanted Jiang Huaixi to stay away from her and not provoke her anymore because she knew how much Jiang Huaixi attracted her. She was also afraid of falling into the emotional games of the wealthy again.
Jiang Huaixi led Lu Zizheng into one room after another, carefully and patiently introducing the functions of each room: the music room, the art room, the dance room, the calligraphy room…
Lu Zizheng felt somewhat distracted, but she still forced herself to stay attentive. While Jiang Huaixi introduced the rooms, she either agreed with a few words or asked a couple of questions.
When they finally stepped out, Lu Zizheng teased, “I didn’t realize Miss Jiang was so talented. Truly, one shouldn’t judge by appearances.”
Jiang Huaixi closed the door and mockingly replied, “That’s because you have poor eyesight.”
The two turned around and discovered that it had started to snow again, fluttering down gently from the sky. The distance wasn’t far, but the snow was falling quite heavily. Jiang Huaixi was a bit worried that Lu Zizheng was dressed too lightly today. She started to take off her coat to use it as a cover, but Lu Zizheng reached out and grabbed her hand, softly saying, “It’s just a few steps. Let’s walk quickly, and it’ll be fine.”
She looked up at Jiang Huaixi, who looked down at her. They stood facing each other, silent for a moment. Jiang Huaixi released her hand, lowered her eyes slightly, and after a moment, softly said, “Zizheng, if my mother said anything that made you uncomfortable, I apologize on her behalf. I hope you won’t take it to heart.”
Lu Zizheng was slightly stunned. It turned out Jiang Huaixi was still thinking about that matter. She could see the emotions Jiang Huaixi was hiding beneath her calm exterior. She always silently, inadvertently, and constantly released her gentleness, touching Lu Zizheng’s heart. Lu Zizheng felt a pang of sadness and her heart ached slightly. She turned her head to look at the fluttering snowflakes and softly replied, “No, don’t worry. Hurry and put your coat back on so you don’t catch a cold.”
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The snowstorm was fierce. If it continued snowing through the night, they could build glistening, bright snowmen together, holding hands through the long, cold night until the morning warmth. Lu Zizheng remembered what Jiang Huaixi had said to her back then: flowers watered with happiness will never wither.
Mother Jiang’s words were sharp, hidden in softness, but Lu Zizheng had long been prepared for it. The love she sought was extraordinary and would inevitably face such challenges. With you by my side, even hardship is bearable.
She had been moved by Jiang Huaixi countless times, and she had wavered countless times. If Jiang Huaixi could give her a certain look, a firm word, or a courageous stance, she would also be able to muster infinite courage, willing to brave all obstacles for her and for love, to forge ahead, fearless and unyielding.
Lu Zizheng walked side by side with Jiang Huaixi in the snow, the cold seeping from her face to her heart.
But she also knew that Jiang Huaixi was actually just like herself, so afraid and disbelieving in forever, never knowing whether an accident or tomorrow would come first, or whether a promise or a lie would be fulfilled first. That’s why Jiang Huaixi never dared to promise her, just as she never dared to respond to her.
How could two timid people ever talk about a brave love?
LP: Re-translated on August 11, 2024