Will Jiang Huaixi let her lose?
At night, Lu Zizheng took a bath and sat on the chair in the study room, turned on the computer, and played her usual music station. She closed her eyes, emptied her thoughts, and softly hummed along with the music.
After a few melodious words from the host, it was Mavis Fan’s 《Snowman》: “… I foolishly, foolishly wait, snow, piece by piece by piece by piece, piecing together our fate, my love is born because of you, your hand touches my heartache… Snow, piece by piece by piece by piece, quietly blooming in the sky, spring is just around the corner, and I will, and I will no longer survive…”
Lu Zizheng opened her eyes, leaned against the back of the chair, looked at the round moon outside the window, and listened quietly, the song was warm yet sad…
She moved the chair closer to the desk, the swivel chair slowly sliding on the floor, making a muffled sound, drowned in the beautiful melody.
Lu Zizheng opened the drawer of the desk, took out the photo that Jiang Huaixi had given her, the snowman was still smiling.
“… Snow, piece by piece by piece by piece, quietly blooming in the sky, spring is just around the corner, and I will, and I will no longer survive…”
Spring will eventually come, the snowman will eventually melt, waiting will end up in vain…
However, Jiang Huaixi said to her: “Here, the flowers nourished by happiness will never wither…”
She had long understood the so-called eternal malice in repeated disappointments, but such words, coming from the rarely sweet-talking Jiang Huaixi, still moved her heart.
Just like the round moon she saw now, most of the time it is only a crescent moon like a bow, but you cannot deny the existence of the full moon just because you often see the crescent moon. This is a matter of probability and luck.
Lu Zizheng pondered in her heart, maybe Jiang Huaixi was that full moon, maybe she could be that rare stroke of good luck, that small probability event.
Over the years, there were always moments when Jiang Huaixi made Lu Zizheng’s heart stir. Unfortunately, she didn’t have the courage to try…
The more emotions are bottled up and endured, the more they clamor to burst out. After many years of friendship with Jiang Huaixi, emotion finally began to outweigh reason, gaining the upper hand…
What if she tried once more? What if she had the courage to believe once more, to believe that Jiang Huaixi was different from others? What if, if she had the courage to stake everything on one bet, to bet that Jiang Huaixi was her one in ten thousand chance of luck?
Would Jiang Huaixi let her lose?
Lu Zizheng looked at the full moon outside the window, a faint smile on her lips. She turned the photo over, took a marker from the pen holder on the desk, and gently, slowly, and seriously wrote on the back: “May we live long and share the beauty of the moon over a thousand miles.”1
As she finished the last character “娟” and was about to put the perfect full stop, the tip of the pen had just touched down when the phone on the desk began to vibrate violently.
Lu Zizheng stopped her action, glanced at it out of the corner of her eye, and the smile on her lips began to fade away…
On the phone screen, the caller ID flashed the name “Lian Xuan” in big characters.
She held the pen, looking at the two characters “Lian Xuan,” and did not react for a long time. She kept thinking that the next second the phone would stop vibrating, the two characters would disappear, and the phone would return to silence, everything would go back to the way it was. But the phone continued to vibrate relentlessly, incessantly…
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In the end, she still put down the pen in her hand and compromised by answering the phone.
Lian Xuan’s voice was filled with undisguised excitement: “Zizheng, you finally answered my call…”
Lu Zizheng’s voice, however, was marked by unfamiliar politeness: “President Lian, it’s so late, what do you need?”
“Zizheng, do I always need a reason to call you?” Her voice was tinged with sadness that Lu Zizheng could hear.
Lu Zizheng remained unmoved: “President Lian?”
Lian Xuan gave a bitter laugh, her voice hoarse: “I want to see you, Zizheng. I’m outside your residential complex. Can you come down and meet me?”
Lu Zizheng couldn’t help but sneer inwardly. She couldn’t understand Lian Xuan’s game anymore. The heartlessness and ruthlessness from years ago, which had made her cry and ache, she finally understood. Now, what were these few gestures of goodwill and entanglements for? She couldn’t understand.
Was it guilt over hurting her in the past? No, up to this day, she still acted as if they were just ordinary classmates who had never had any unpleasantness.
Was it a hint of affection for someone she once liked? Ridiculous, the young man who stood by her side yesterday during the festival was not just a decoration.
No matter what thoughts Lian Xuan was hiding now, Lu Zizheng no longer had the energy or interest to fathom them. She was about to coldly refuse, but Lian Xuan seemed to sense it and softened her voice to plead: “Zizheng, please don’t reject me, today is my birthday. Just, grant me one wish, okay?”
When had Lu Zizheng ever heard Lian Xuan speak in such a compromising and humble tone? December 26th, when the clock struck midnight, she remembered it, but it was just a memory.
“Zizheng, can you meet me?” Tonight, Lian Xuan seemed particularly fragile, her voice carrying a hint of sobbing.
In the end, Lu Zizheng couldn’t bear it, she bit her lip and lightly responded, agreeing.
There was no snow tonight, but the wind was much stronger than the night before. Lu Zizheng walked slowly step by step towards the entrance of the residential complex. From a distance, she could see Lian Xuan standing by the car, watching her approach step by step. Her originally cold face blossomed into a sweet smile the moment she saw her.
She was only wearing a red off-shoulder evening dress, her long hair gently swaying in the wind, her body shivering.
As she got closer, Lu Zizheng saw Lian Xuan’s eyes, bright like stars, her lips already turning pale from the cold: “Zizheng, you still came.”
Lu Zizheng replied indifferently, “Get in the car first.” She was wearing a sweater and shirt underneath, with a wool coat on top, yet she still felt the bone-chilling cold. She couldn’t understand how Lian Xuan could stand in the wind in that thin off-shoulder evening dress.
Lian Xuan’s smile grew even brighter. She quickly turned to the other side of the car and attentively opened the car door for Lu Zizheng. After watching her get in, she closed the door and went around to get in the car herself.
Once inside, Lian Xuan rubbed her hands together and turned to Lu Zizheng with a smile: “It’s so cold. If you had come down any later, I might have frozen to death by the car.”
Lu Zizheng didn’t look at her and replied indifferently, “You could have waited for me in the car.”
Lian Xuan arched her brows slightly, revealing cute dimples on her cheeks: “I couldn’t wait. I wanted to see you the moment you appeared.”
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Lu Zizheng remained silent, and Lian Xuan didn’t mind. She started the car and changed the topic, asking, “Did you like the flowers I sent you on Christmas Eve?”
Lu Zizheng was slightly surprised. At that time, she hadn’t considered the possibility that the flowers were from Lian Xuan.
She looked at the rapidly receding street scenes outside the car window and said indifferently, “Thank you for the extravagant gift, President Lian.”
Lian Xuan frowned and corrected her unhappily: “Zizheng, we are no longer in a superior-subordinate relationship. Can you call me by my name?”
Lu Zizheng merely gave a faint smile, turned her head to look at Lian Xuan, and said, “I’m afraid my relationship with President Lian isn’t close enough for me to call you by your name.”
Hearing this, Lian Xuan’s body trembled slightly. She bit her lip, glanced at Lu Zizheng, and fell silent.
No more words were exchanged along the way. Lu Zizheng didn’t ask about their destination, and Lian Xuan didn’t inform her. Lu Zizheng turned her face to the side, focusing intently on the scenery outside the car window. From the bustling city with numerous streetlights, they gradually reached a vast, empty straight road with only traffic, and then, suddenly, they were on the highway…
Lu Zizheng simply closed her eyes, waiting for Lian Xuan to finally stop the car.
She didn’t know how long the car had been driving tirelessly when Lian Xuan finally stopped. She rolled down the window and showed some sort of identification to a security guard-looking person. After that, the car slowly drove inside.
Lu Zizheng opened her eyes and felt that the scenery outside the car window was inexplicably familiar, but she couldn’t remember where she had seen it.
Lian Xuan finally spoke again: “Zizheng, do you still remember this place?”
She stopped the car and smiled, signaling for Lu Zizheng to get out. Looking ahead at the vast grassland, her eyes were filled with nostalgia.
Lu Zizheng looked around and, after seeing the sign for “Tianxin Horticulture,” finally recognized the place. Lian Xuan had driven them onto the highway for at least three hours to reach this city between Linzhou and Juzhou, to the “Tianxin Horticulture” they had visited during a high school trip. This was entirely beyond Lu Zizheng’s expectations.
She looked at Lian Xuan in disbelief. Lian Xuan merely smiled at her indifferently, stepping on her slender high heels, swaying in her thin evening dress, and shivering as she walked up the grassy slope.
Lu Zizheng stood there, staring blankly at her receding figure, her mind filled with countless thoughts.
Lian Xuan turned around, smiling sweetly: “Zizheng, come up…”
Lian Xuan’s thin, graceful figure on the high slope gradually overlapped with the image in her memory. That year, Lian Xuan stood there just like this, softly calling her: “Zizheng, come up…”
Unconsciously, Lu Zizheng heeded her call, watching her as she walked up step by step.
Lian Xuan, wobbling in her high heels, reached the highest point of the slope, adjusted her evening dress slightly, and sat down on the ground. She looked up at the night sky, her voice excited like a child’s, pointing to the sky and turning her head to smile at Lu Zizheng: “Zizheng, look, those two stars are still there.”
Lu Zizheng looked up in the direction she pointed. Tonight, the moon was full, and there were only a few faint stars in the night sky. Far away from the moon, indeed, there were two stars that were particularly bright. They looked very much like the two stars she and Lian Xuan had seen when they lay here years ago. The distance between the two stars was still so close, as if they had stayed together in the same place all these years, never drifting apart.
Lu Zizheng sat down beside Lian Xuan, looking at her face still wearing a smile. The wind blew, and her fine bangs covered her bright eyes. She crossed her arms, shivering from the cold. Lu Zizheng took off her wool coat and draped it over Lian Xuan’s shivering body, and couldn’t help but shiver herself.
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Lian Xuan clutched the coat tightly, her eyes fixed on Lu Zizheng, her gaze flowing with unspoken words.
Lu Zizheng only glanced at her before turning her gaze to the night sky. Her voice was clear and cold, growing more desolate in the night: “They’re different. From my eyes, they’ve already traveled very far, very far away.” She lowered her head, looking at the vast night in the distance, and said softly: “It seems like they’re still in the same position, but they’re no longer at the same distance.”
Lian Xuan’s eyes, which had been staring at Lu Zizheng, gradually dimmed. She hugged the coat Lu Zizheng had draped over her, but felt even colder. She moved closer to Lu Zizheng, opened the coat, draping one side over Lu Zizheng’s shoulder and the other over her own arm, and gently rested her head on Lu Zizheng’s shoulder: “Zizheng, let me tell you a story, okay?”
Lu Zizheng did not push her head away, allowing her to whisper on her shoulder. Her gaze fell on the withered yellow grass at her feet, her thoughts drifting far away…
Beautiful flowers do not bloom often, and good scenery does not last long. The withered grass of this winter, though it will turn green again next spring, will not be the same fresh green as before. The beautiful scenery here remains, and the Lian Xuan beside her is still beautiful, but some things are just different.
Listen, her heartbeat is now so steady and orderly.
Lu Zizheng seriously thought, has Jiang Huaixi’s fever subsided?
LP: Re-translated on August 03, 2024
Footnotes
- “May we live long and share the beauty of the moon over a thousand miles” (但願人長久，千裏共嫦娟): This is a famous line from the poem “Shui Diao Ge Tou” (水調歌頭) by the renowned Song Dynasty poet Su Shi (蘇軾). It expresses the wish for long life and enduring companionship, even if separated by great distances. “嫦娟” refers to the moon goddess Chang’e, symbolizing the moon.
