The Prime Minister’s Daughter and the Marquis’s Fool – Chapter 88

Long Have I Admired Doctor Liu’s Miraculous Healing Hands¹

Lin Xizhao had noticed Qu Sheng’s growing anxiety over the past few days, that constant fear of losing what she had. She mentioned it to Xiao Bingying, who simply prescribed a few extra ingredients for Qu Sheng’s medicinal soup.

This was a sickness of the heart², something no medicine could cure. Xiao Bingying was willing but unable to help, though she was certain of one thing: Lin Xizhao could not leave Qu Sheng’s side right now.

She had asked other doctors about this kind of ailment during her studies. The answer was always the same. It stemmed from immense emotional trauma or from insatiable desires that left a person listless and melancholic. Few ever recovered without addressing the root cause.

The illness could be minor, merely draining one’s spirit, or it could be severe enough to threaten one’s life.

Xiao Bingying had no desire to frighten Lin Xizhao, but she had long ago realized something about Qu Sheng. For all her occasional childishness, she was a person of extremely high spirits. A fire burned in her bones; she was not one to admit defeat.

After her bath, Lin Xizhao helped Qu Sheng step out of the wooden tub. She carefully dried the beads of water from her skin, her mind elsewhere as she spoke. “Since we’re back, let’s stay for a few days. It would be good for you to recover your strength.”

They hadn’t stopped once on their journey for Qu Sheng’s sake. Now that they had taken a day-long detour to return to Shoulin, they should rest. They had the time.

“No need. We can pack up and leave tomorrow,” Qu Sheng said. She had grown accustomed to Lin Xizhao helping her bathe these past days. It was easier while in the water, but once she was out, she had to force a calm expression, oblivious to the blush that had already flooded her cheeks.

Lin Xizhao looked up at Qu Sheng, wanting to persuade her to stay and rest, but then she remembered the sickness of the heart born from her blindness. She couldn’t bring herself to push the matter. At least her physical health was no longer a major concern.

Lin Xizhao grabbed a set of underclothes and helped Qu Sheng dress. She then gathered the cascade of ink-black hair spilling down Qu Sheng’s back, cupping it in her hands to lift it free, allowing herself to stroke it for a fleeting moment.

After helping Qu Sheng back to the bedroom, Lin Xizhao instructed a servant to look after her and went to take her own bath.

When Lin Xizhao returned, Xiao Bingying was already in the room. Her expression darkened slightly upon seeing Lin Xizhao.

“Jiejie, you’re finished?” Qu Sheng asked, her voice docile as she tilted her head to listen.

Lin Xizhao glanced at Xiao Bingying before turning her gaze to Qu Sheng. “En,” she murmured. “Sheng’er, were you getting anxious waiting?”

Dinner had already been set out in the room.

Qu Sheng shook her head. “Not at all. The food just arrived. Cheng Xi is still bathing, so I asked Bingying-jiejie to come over first.”

At her words, Lin Xizhao looked up and met Xiao Bingying’s eyes. In that brief exchange, they communicated everything they were thinking. Lin Xizhao gave a slight nod, then looked back at Qu Sheng. “That’s good.”

The three of them sat at the table for a short while before Cheng Xi, now in a fresh set of clothes, joined them.

Seeing her, Xiao Bingying rose with a smile in her eyes and bent down to gently pull out Cheng Xi’s chair. Cheng Xi smiled back as she sat, prompting Lin Xizhao to declare, “Everyone’s here. Let’s eat.”

Xiao Bingying and Cheng Xi broke their shared gaze and nodded to Lin Xizhao.

Lin Xizhao fed Qu Sheng, a rhythm they had fallen into over the past few days—a bite for Qu Sheng, a bite for herself. They shared a single bowl, a sight to which Xiao Bingying and Cheng Xi had long since grown accustomed. It was no longer strange to see.

After the evening meal, Xiao Bingying and Cheng Xi departed. Lin Xizhao remained in Qu Sheng’s room, her eyes beginning to wander. She was filled with a deep curiosity for everything here that belonged to Qu Sheng.

“Sheng’er, where did you have your Zhuazhou ceremony³?” The question suddenly popped into her mind.

Qu Sheng took a sip of tea, pursing her lips. “In the main hall of the front courtyard.”

Lin Xizhao nodded, her gaze fixed on Qu Sheng for a moment before she asked another question. “And what did Sheng’er grab?”

Qu Sheng held her teacup and thought back. She had been able to walk by then and had some memory of it. She thought it was Qu Jinian’s official seal⁴.

“It was my father’s official seal,” Qu Sheng said, bringing the cup to her lips again.

Because women could not hold office in Tiansheng Kingdom, it was rare for an official to offer his seal for a daughter to choose. But at the time, her Second Uncle from the Qu Family, Qu Jixian, had put Qu Jinian’s seal out.

The moment Qu Sheng had picked it up, Second Uncle Qu Jixian had declared that she would grow up to be extraordinary. And later, after she turned one, they slowly discovered that Qu Sheng was not only brilliant but also remarkably independent. She never cried or fussed and required almost no looking after.

By three, she could write with a skill that made even her elder brothers from the Qu Family admit their own inferiority.

Lin Xizhao nodded, her gaze sweeping around the room again. The furnishings had been left almost untouched from when Qu Sheng had left all those years ago, and since they didn’t know how long they would be staying this time, nothing major had been changed upon their return.

There were still some of Qu Sheng’s childhood calligraphy papers in the room. Lin Xizhao’s eyes settled on the small table where Qu Sheng used to practice, where several sheets of paper lay. The writing on them was indeed Qu Sheng’s style, but the brushwork lacked strength.

Lin Xizhao picked one up for a closer look. “Did Sheng’er write this as a child?” She remembered that Qu Sheng’s calligraphy looked just like this after she came to live at the Lin Residence.

Qu Sheng heard her and tilted her ear to listen for a moment. “Yes,” she confirmed.

When Qu Sheng spoke of her childhood writing, she was referring to the time she was three or younger. Lin Xizhao wasn’t surprised by her answer, but Qu Sheng herself seemed to sense something was amiss.

The hand holding the teacup paused. Her lips moved slightly, and after a moment, she asked, “Jiejie, when did you know?”

“Know what?” Lin Xizhao asked, her eyes still appreciating the calligraphy as she glanced sideways.

Qu Sheng fell silent. Lin Xizhao watched her for a while, realizing what she was truly asking.

“A long time ago. But I only confirmed it recently.” Lin Xizhao knew Qu Sheng was no fool.

“Doesn’t Jiejie have any questions for me?”

Qu Sheng had always felt that Lin Xizhao saw her as a simpleton child⁵. Lately, she had been showing her true self more openly, yet Lin Xizhao still treated her like a little girl.

“Questions about what?” Lin Xizhao didn’t know what to ask. After her own mother, Liang-shi⁶, had passed away, her interactions with Qu Sheng had already made her suspect that Qu Sheng was not a person of immature intellect. But the way Qu Sheng presented herself made Lin Xizhao feel that she was, at the very least, different from others.

But that difference was certainly not foolishness.

Lin Xizhao’s frankness made Qu Sheng wonder if they were even talking about the same thing.

“Ask why my Sheng’er is so clever, yet doesn’t want anyone to see it?” Lin Xizhao voiced the very thought spinning in Qu Sheng’s mind.

They were talking about the same thing after all.

Qu Sheng remained silent. Lin Xizhao walked to her side and gazed at her vacant, unseeing eyes. A small smile touched her lips. “Sheng’er has endured years of being called a madwoman and hearing crazy words and mad talk⁷. You must have had a very important reason for it.”

Lin Xizhao didn’t want to pry, but she had a good idea why Qu Sheng had pretended to be a fool. Back then, the Emperor was no benevolent ruler; his ambition had been clear from the moment he ascended the throne. Among the noble houses of Tiansheng, the Qu Family held the most land and the largest army. The country was unstable, plagued by floods and droughts, and he couldn’t restrain the Qu Family’s power. His only option was to control them through marriage.

Marrying into the royal family was supposed to be the highest honor, but the Qu Family couldn’t have cared less. They only wanted their daughters to marry into families where they wouldn’t be mistreated—families like their own, where a husband had only one wife.

Qu Sheng was stunned for a moment. She lifted a hand, wanting to touch Lin Xizhao’s face. Ever since she’d realized she was in love with Lin Xizhao, she had wanted to tell her, but so much had happened recently. She had acted willfully, taking advantage of Lin Xizhao’s kindness, believing Lin Xizhao still saw her as a child. She never knew that Lin Xizhao had already figured everything out.

That meant Lin Xizhao’s reactions to her affection weren’t because she thought her a foolish child. They were the considered responses of someone who knew the truth.

Lin Xizhao leaned in, letting Qu Sheng’s hand cup her cheek. Seeing Qu Sheng’s careful, tentative touch, she slowly turned her head and pressed her lips to Qu Sheng’s.

Qu Sheng’s hand was still on Lin Xizhao’s cheek. As Lin Xizhao kissed her, she instinctively raised her other hand, gently framing Lin Xizhao’s face to deepen their kiss.

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Xiao Bingying walked Cheng Xi back to their room, then went to bathe.

They had returned late, and it was improper to wander around someone else’s estate after dinner. Cheng Xi sat in the room for a while before removing her outer robe and getting into bed.

She waited for a full half-hour before Xiao Bingying finally returned.

“What took you so long?” Cheng Xi asked, lifting a corner of the blanket for Xiao Bingying to get in.

Xiao Bingying sat down, then slid under the covers. She moved closer to Cheng Xi and pressed a soft kiss to her cool cheek. “Qu Family’s Third Brother had someone summon me just now.”

“Qu Ting?”

“En.”

Qu Ting hadn’t spoken much with them these past days. For him to call Xiao Bingying over tonight… it was most likely about her.

Cheng Xi lowered her eyes, thinking for a moment, then turned to look at Xiao Bingying, who was about to lie down. “Was he worried about me?”

Xiao Bingying paused. She met Cheng Xi’s gaze and, after a moment, gave a soft “en.”

“Worried I would leave and never come back?” Cheng Xi asked bluntly.

Xiao Bingying didn’t try to hide it. “Yes,” she admitted. “But I told him not to worry. You won’t.”

Before bringing Cheng Xi along, Xiao Bingying had her concerns. But given Cheng Xi’s feelings for her, she felt that Cheng Xi probably wouldn’t abandon her.

Although Qu Yu and Zhao Jiayu had encouraged her to bring Cheng Xi out this time, she wasn’t completely without reservations. Cheng Xi was a princess of Haichao Kingdom, but she had been sent as a singer and dancer to a minister’s residence. Her reputation was ruined, and her life was incredibly hard. If leaving would give Cheng Xi a better life, Xiao Bingying would have been willing to risk it for her. But this time was different.

This time, they were traveling with the Qu Family. Though few people knew Cheng Xi had come with her, anyone determined enough to investigate would uncover the truth. The crime of losing a person bestowed by the emperor⁸ would fall squarely on the Qu Family.

“You have that much faith in me?” Cheng Xi sounded skeptical.

Xiao Bingying turned to face her, her gaze fixed on Cheng Xi’s cool yet beautiful face. It wasn’t that she had faith; it was that she was willing to gamble.

If Cheng Xi really did use this as a chance to leave, she would accept it. She would take all the blame herself and do everything she could to keep the Qu Family from being implicated. But if Cheng Xi didn’t leave, then she would spend the rest of her life treating her even better.

“Whether I trust you or not, I believe that whatever path you choose will be the best one for you,” Xiao Bingying said. She was not good at hiding her feelings. Though she might keep her worries to herself, she would answer honestly if asked.

Cheng Xi looked at Xiao Bingying’s sincere expression, as honest as her words. She saw the softness in her eyes, a tenderness reserved just for her, and sighed inwardly.

She had originally thought Xiao Bingying was only after her for her looks and her talents in song and dance. But after spending so much time together, even after feigning affection for her, Xiao Bingying had never once crossed the line.

Though they shared a bed, Xiao Bingying had never made a move. Even their kisses were initiated by her; only then would Xiao Bingying kiss her back.

At this moment, she couldn’t tell if Xiao Bingying loved her or not.

Cheng Xi’s lashes trembled. She met Xiao Bingying’s gentle gaze. She didn’t know Xiao Bingying all that well, but from the way she handled things, she was definitely not one of those cowards who feared death and shirked responsibility.

Cheng Xi studied Xiao Bingying’s face for a few moments before letting her gaze drift down to her soft lips.

She had never kissed a man, but she knew a woman’s lips were the most fragrant and tender. Cheng Xi leaned in slowly. Xiao Bingying didn’t move, didn’t shy away.

Xiao Bingying almost never refused a kiss from Cheng Xi. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to initiate; she was afraid of scaring her. She coveted beauty, too, but a voice deep inside always told her that if they were to become intimate while things were so uncertain, it would be deeply unfair to Cheng Xi. She would be no better than her didi⁹, Xiao Yaocai.

Cheng Xi’s life was already difficult. To add frost to snow¹⁰ by taking advantage of her beauty would be to look down on her, to devalue her. It wasn’t that she didn’t have those desires for Cheng Xi. But to possess her just because she liked her—how would that be any different from those men who saw a woman they liked and simply took her?

Cheng Xi’s long, lingering kiss carried a scent that drew one deeper, a scent Xiao Bingying adored. But every time her thoughts toward Cheng Xi’s kisses turned frivolous, she would push her away. Tonight was no exception.

As their lips parted, Cheng Xi opened her eyes. She stared at Xiao Bingying’s slightly parted mouth, her soft gasps echoing in her ears. She just couldn’t understand why Xiao Bingying, who clearly wanted to do something more, always pushed her away at the critical moment.

Cheng Xi gazed at Xiao Bingying’s face, which showed no trace of shame. A wave of sorrow washed over her, and she turned her head to the side. “Is there something I’m doing wrong?” she whispered. “Something about me that still dissatisfies you?”

Xiao Bingying was still trying to rein in her own impulses when Cheng Xi’s words hit her. She looked confused for a second before understanding dawned. “No, not at all,” she said hurriedly. “You’re perfect. It’s my problem.”

Xiao Bingying took the blame, and indeed, it was her issue. Cheng Xi had tried to get closer many times, but Xiao Bingying always stopped things just short. Then she would spend a long time calming the improper thoughts Cheng Xi stirred in her.

“If you’re not dissatisfied, then you must have other concerns. You think I’ll become a burden to you in the future, don’t you?” Cheng Xi’s words were clear. Being with Xiao Bingying was a way to seek her protection. She guessed Xiao Bingying was holding back so she could easily abandon her when danger came.

Though Xiao Bingying’s life was difficult, Cheng Xi could see that even the Xiao Family was sometimes powerless against her. Besides, her two friends and her cousin would always protect her when it mattered.

Xiao Bingying knew Cheng Xi thought this way. It was precisely because she knew that she had never crossed the line.

She didn’t want Cheng Xi to think that her protection came at the price of possession. Cheng Xi was free. Even if she had confessed her feelings, Xiao Bingying would never try to control her. And she would never abandon Cheng Xi in a time of danger just because she hadn’t gotten what she wanted.

“I don’t. Xi’er… I…” Xiao Bingying saw the disappointment in Cheng Xi’s eyes and her heart twisted. She stammered, and seeing Cheng Xi lower her gaze in sorrow again sent her mind into a panic. The words tumbled out, unfiltered. “I don’t want you to think I’m the same as my didi. I like you, and I feel that way about you, but I can’t use that as an excuse to do something irreversible to you.”

Xiao Bingying wasn’t as straightforward as Zhao Jiayu, but when it came to her feelings for Cheng Xi, she was like a child, desperately and honestly explaining herself, laying all her thoughts bare. She was terrified of doing something wrong and making Cheng Xi disappointed enough to leave.

She cherished this relationship with Cheng Xi. It was a warm alley in the middle of her thorn-filled life.

“But I’m willing¹¹,” Cheng Xi said, looking into Xiao Bingying’s panicked, earnest eyes. It was a lie.

She didn’t dislike Xiao Bingying. She even felt some affection, but it wasn’t love. She didn’t mind kissing her, but the thought of doing more… she wasn’t truly willing. But it was something she had to do.

She had never been this intimate with anyone, had never been comfortable sharing a bed. But to make Xiao Bingying fall in love with her, she had to get used to it.

Xiao Bingying looked at Cheng Xi’s pitiful, tear-streaked eyes, and her heart melted completely. Such a beautiful, delicate person. A war raged within her, a battle where heaven and man do battle¹². She was right there, within reach. The desire for Cheng Xi that she had just suppressed now sprouted anew, striking with the force of lightning and shattering her reason.

Xiao Bingying raised her slender, strong fingers and gently wiped away a tear rolling down Cheng Xi’s face.

She fought to control the ragged breaths caused by her frantic heartbeat. Pity and desire warred in her eyes, but in the end, she could no longer hold back. She leaned down and kissed her.

Her kiss wasn’t forceful; she was afraid of hurting Cheng Xi. Her lips and tongue lingered on the soft, fragrant skin of her neck, unwilling to leave.

Only when Cheng Xi’s soft moans filled her ears did Xiao Bingying free a hand and untie her sleeping clothes.

The candlelight in the room flickered, casting a dim, yellow glow. Xiao Bingying shifted her body, which was pressed lightly against Cheng Xi’s side, and slid the sleeping robe from her shoulders.

A ruby-red dudou¹³ captured Xiao Bingying’s gaze. She stared at it for a moment, mesmerized, and her throat went dry.

Cheng Xi kept her eyes closed, her hands rising to find the sash on Xiao Bingying’s own robes at her waist.

Xiao Bingying felt the gentle touch of Cheng Xi’s fingertips. She looked down and saw that her own sash was already undone. As her robes loosened, her own underclothes were revealed.

Before Xiao Bingying had time to feel shy, Cheng Xi had already raised herself up slightly, found her lips, and kissed her again. She had been tending a cold stove for half the day. Now that it finally had a flicker of warmth, she couldn’t let the fire go out.

The next morning, Qu Jixian had the Qu Family men go to the military barracks overnight. He assembled a number of highly skilled martial officers, equipped them with fine weapons and warhorses, and selected a new retinue of guards to accompany Qu Sheng and the others on their journey.

The Qu Family’s Second Uncle and Second Aunt didn’t go with them to Haichao Kingdom. Qu Jixian was responsible for managing all affairs in Shoulin and had frequent dealings with Haichao officials, but always under the Son of Heaven’s command. To go personally would invite gossip.

It was better for the younger generation of the Qu Family to go. It could be passed off as a sightseeing trip and wouldn’t cause any waves. Besides, they had a perfectly good reason to go.

News of Qu Sheng’s blindness had already spread throughout the Jingcheng Capital. Affairs of noble families like theirs traveled fast, and the Qu Family was always a subject of intense scrutiny.

The four women sat inside the carriage. Cheng Xi leaned against Xiao Bingying’s shoulder, her eyes closed in rest. When Xiao Bingying sensed Cheng Xi was asleep, she reached for a nearby thin blanket. It was just out of reach. She tried a few times but stopped, afraid that moving too much would wake Cheng Xi. Just as she was about to pull her hand back, Lin Xizhao reached out and passed the blanket to her.

Lin Xizhao had been lost in her own thoughts, her eyes staring blankly at the carriage interior, seeing nothing. It was only the flicker of Xiao Bingying’s moving arm that broke her reverie.

Xiao Bingying took the blanket and gave her a slight nod of thanks. Lin Xizhao responded with a small smile, watching as Xiao Bingying gently draped the blanket over Cheng Xi.

Xiao Bingying had always been kind to those around her, but the way she cared for Cheng Xi, and the intimate gestures between them throughout the journey, had already planted seeds of suspicion in Lin Xizhao’s mind. But then, her own situation with Qu Sheng was far too similar. They all abided by an unspoken agreement, leaving things unsaid.

After five days of travel, they presented their documents and crossed the border. Cheng Xi and Xiao Bingying had no travel papers of their own, but Qu Ting had arranged them back in Shoulin, identifying them as maidservants of the Qu Family.

Their identities were unremarkable in Tiansheng, but in Haichao Kingdom, they would attract attention. Everyone knew a princess from Haichao had been sent as tribute to Tiansheng Kingdom—and sent directly to Xiao Bingying’s home.

Because a large party would attract notice, the Qu Family convoy disguised themselves as merchants.

The group traveled for another three days within Haichao Kingdom, finally arriving near the Haichao Royal City.

The Qu Family members who had been following Liu Wuxiang had already received word of their arrival and had summoned him back from his travels.

Liu Wuxiang sat in his small, rented courtyard house, grinding herbs. He showed no deference at the arrival of the Qu Family. Instead, his eyes lit up the moment he saw Cheng Xi.

“Long have I admired Doctor Liu’s magical hand that brings the dying back to life,” Qu Ting began with the requisite pleasantries, stating their purpose clearly. “I, Qu Ting, have brought my humble younger sister here today, and I apologize for the intrusion. I can only hope that Doctor Liu will not withhold his great skill and will treat my little sister’s eyes.”

As Qu Ting spoke, the others took stock of Liu Wuxiang. He was a bit thin, but it was easy to see he had been a handsome man in his youth, now weathered by years of hardship.

Lin Xizhao observed him closely, but Liu Wuxiang’s gaze was fixed on Cheng Xi, who stood behind Xiao Bingying.

When Qu Ting finished, Liu Wuxiang tugged lightly on his earlobe. “You scholars are so long-winded,” he grumbled. “Leave the patient. The rest of you, get out.”

Liu Wuxiang didn’t appreciate having so many people crowding his tiny courtyard. If they walked around and knocked over his drying herbs, he would be furious.

Everyone exchanged glances. Qu Ting looked embarrassed for a moment, then pressed his lips together. He raised a hand, ordering everyone to leave. They all retreated from the courtyard and stood guard outside the gate.

“You. Girl. You stay,” Liu Wuxiang called out, stopping Cheng Xi as she started to follow Xiao Bingying out.

Cheng Xi and Liu Wuxiang had recognized each other the moment she walked in. But as a guest, she had refrained from speaking first.

She had planned to greet him formally after Qu Ting was finished, but she hadn’t expected the old man to just kick everyone out.

When Xiao Bingying heard Liu Wuxiang tell Cheng Xi to stay, she hesitated, worried. But then she saw Cheng Xi give her a reassuring nod.

Xiao Bingying thought for a second, met the eyes of Lin Xizhao who was walking out beside her, and relaxed her furrowed brow before leaving.

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