The Sovereign – Chapter 47

Volume Three: A Hundred Things Changed with the Spring Breeze

Past Events Like a Dream

How can one let go of twenty years of feelings?

“How is my mother’s health?” Liu Qianxun, under Ling Yu’s guidance, arrived at Jing Garden.

“Doctor Yu has checked her pulse. Rest assured, she is still weak, but has been prescribed tonic medicine to be taken on time.” Ling Yu has always been thoughtful towards Liu Zhu. She holds great respect for Liu Zhu, partly due to her affection for Liu Qianxun, and partly because of her admiration for Liu Zhu’s will and strength.

Ling Yu vaguely recalls the year she was fifteen, when snow covered everything, and the whole of Zhengyi was clad in silver, with a very cold climate. It was the coldest winter in the Yu Kingdom. In front of the Changning Mansion, she encountered a girl dragging a cart, with her mother lying on it, already close to death.

Her mother appeared to be seriously ill. The girl’s clothes were tidy but very thin. At another glance, she saw the girl had wrapped her only outer garment around her mother, her small body trembling from the cold, lips purple, yet her eyes showed a stubbornness. She did not ask Ling Yu for help, nor did she try to gain her sympathy, but calmly walked past her.

At that time, Ling Yu had just established the Shura Sect, her wings were not yet full, as she was recruiting subordinates and training them, also learning martial arts from various Jianghu schools, just troubled by the lack of companions. She was moved by the girl’s strong and unruly cold demeanor.

That year, she saved this mother and daughter. Later, she brought the girl into the Shura Sect, spending all day with her practicing martial arts, studying strategy, and cultivating her insight, observation, hearing, and even pupil power. The two practiced martial arts together, studied together, and even shared the same bed, as close as sisters, better than relatives. Ling Yu was surprised to discover the girl’s extraordinary talent; she had never seen a disciple learn martial arts so quickly, nor encountered a girl with such high comprehension.

She taught her the martial arts she learned from various sect experts, training her into the Shura Sect’s top expert. Over time, her stunning appearance became more apparent, and just going out would attract attention, as she was born with an enchanting face. Ultimately, she was sent to the Ji Kingdom to execute the highest mission and became the Tower Master of Suyuan Tower, the highest status under Ling Yu in the Shura Sect.

Meanwhile, the weak and sickly Liu Zhu resided in the Changning Mansion with dedicated care. Ling Yu was the benefactor of this mother and daughter, to Liu Qianxun a favor as great as rebirth. Liu Qianxun’s feelings for Ling Yu were not only from that year at thirteen, looking up at her playing the xun under the tree, but more from the unbreakable emotional bond they established through daily interactions.

However, Ling Yu’s heart was tied to the country, and she handled affairs extremely. When she discovered she had fallen in love with Liu Qianxun, she hid this feeling deep within her heart. She also knew Liu Qianxun’s feelings for her, starting from her willingness to endure the pain of tattooing that iris. Ling Yu was both surprised and afraid, with contradictory joy and pain, various complex emotions surging in her heart, but ultimately she suppressed them all with rationality.

She was powerless to bear a love and unable to give Liu Qianxun any response, so she disguised herself as a dissolute person to distract her inner focus and obsession with Liu Qianxun. She thought she could control everything freely, including her emotions, yet did not expect Liu Qianxun to step by step drift away from her.

“The journey from Zhengyi to Jidu is far; how did she manage to get here?” Liu Qianxun thought of her mother traveling thousands of miles to Jidu, unable to imagine this arduous process.

“Aunt, with her clever mind, left the mansion well-prepared, bringing medicine with her. When she felt unwell, she would take medicine and rest, and when she felt better, she continued the journey. She traveled like this for ten days. Later, when the medicine ran out, she almost fainted and was discovered by disciples who brought her back to Jidu.”

“This time you came to Jidu, do you have other arrangements?” Liu Qianxun knew Ling Yu would not appear without reason; it couldn’t be just to see them, mother and daughter.

“We’ll talk about this matter later.” Ling Yu’s smile always carried a hint of cunning. She stopped and said, “Your mother is over there; I won’t disturb you. Go.”

“Mm.” Liu Qianxun glanced at Ling Yu, still with an unfathomable expression, not knowing what kind of plans she was making again.

Liu Qianxun had just walked away when someone came to report to Ling Yu, “Sect Leader, it has been detected that the Empress will return to court in two days. According to reliable news from Ghost Eye, Yi Hongchuan is already mobilizing the Imperial Guards, and there is fear he intends regicide and rebellion during the Empress Dowager’s grand birthday.”

“Hmph, this Grand Chancellor is really afraid of living too long. Qin Junlan in Yuzhou has already gathered all his evidence of crime; it seems there will be a big drama.” Ling Yu raised the corner of her lips slightly, as Jidu’s storm changed colors. Although no one can shake Qin Junlan’s position, it is enough to cause huge trouble.

Ling Yu’s trip was not only to sit on the mountain and watch the tigers fight but also to seize the opportunity to help Liu Qianxun enter the palace, conveniently waiting for the replies from the kings of the other two countries, so she can also smoothly enter the palace later.

Jing Garden is a five-entry courtyard, and Liu Zhu likes quiet, residing in the most secluded inner courtyard. Although Ling Yu arranged for maidservants to serve, Liu Zhu was accustomed to caring for herself and did not allow the maidservants to take action. The maidservants could only stand by, ready to attend to her body condition.

Before reaching the inner courtyard, there was already a strong bitter smell. The medicine Liu Zhu needed to nourish her body was all very bitter in formula, but it was the top grade for health. Without the divine doctor’s long-term acupuncture and adjustment, Liu Zhu would likely not have been able to live until now.

She wore a black garment, slender red silk wrapped around her waist, winding and meandering like a ray of bright sunlight in the darkness, a thread of hope amidst the gloom. She lightly shook a palm fan, bent over to check the medicine pot, her movements neither fast nor slow. Wherever she was, the whole world was quiet, quiet enough to allow one to put aside all clamor and trouble.

“Mother~” Liu Qianxun displayed a gentle, beautiful smile, all cold aura disappearing entirely, replaced by infinite gentleness.

Liu Zhu turned around, her light brown eyes as clear and transparent as glass, her smile enchanting with countless charms. Her facial lines were smooth and sleek, her brow bone exquisitely refined. Her features were delicately arranged; her appearance was not stunning but beautifully evoked pity. Three parts lay in her physical appearance, and seven parts in her grace. Although she had reached the age of no perplexity, she could not hide her profound beauty and charm.

“Xun’er, you have returned.” Her soft beauty carried dignity, elegant but not enchanting, only that hoarse voice seemed unmatched with her moving appearance. Yet, due to the sediment of years, it condensed a different charm, beautifully low-key and restrained, evoking pity.

In her early years, a great fire occurred. King Chong’s main concubine was jealous of Liu Zhu’s existence and, on the night Liu Zhu was about to give birth, locked her in the woodshed. The main concubine was arrogant and domineering, and no one dared to speak. Pitiful Liu Zhu had just given birth to Liu Qianxun, her body still weak, when she encountered a great fire.

Fortunately, heaven protected them, and that night a heavy rain unexpectedly fell. In the cold winter twelfth month, on that night, Liu Zhu’s throat was choked by thick smoke, and because the cold entered her body, she was fundamentally injured, henceforth weak and sickly. King Chong coveted Liu Zhu’s beauty and forcibly kept her in the mansion. Liu Zhu suffered the main concubine’s bitterness and endured torment. To allow Liu Qianxun to grow up well, Liu Zhu bitterly endured until Liu Qianxun was thirteen. That year, she used a stick to sneak attack the main concubine and was expelled by King Chong.

After she became an assassin of the Shura Sect, she returned to King Chong’s mansion. On a moonless, windy night, she cut off the main concubine’s head and hung it at the main gate of King Chong’s mansion. This incident stirred up a huge wave in the Yu Kingdom, and that was the first person Liu Qianxun killed.

Since being expelled by King Chong’s main concubine, Liu Qianxun changed her name to follow her mother’s surname. Liu Qianxun’s original name was He Xun, and she was ashamed of this surname and hated King Chong even more. King Chong’s death had no impact on her; in the early years when Ling Yu took power and eliminated King Chong’s forces, she had the opportunity to kill him, but was stopped by her mother and Ling Yu, allowing him to linger alive for so long.

Every time Liu Qianxun heard Liu Zhu’s heart-wrenching hoarse voice, her heart ached endlessly. She only hated herself for being too small back then, named as King Chong’s illegitimate daughter, living a childhood worse than a slave. Mother and daughter tried to escape, but Liu Zhu’s body was not strong, and she could not practice martial arts, suffering twelve years of torment in King Chong’s mansion.

“Xun’er, what are you thinking?” Because her throat was damaged, Liu Zhu spoke very little and seldom interacted with others, but whenever she saw Liu Qianxun, she couldn’t help wanting to be closer to her daughter.

“It’s nothing, mother. Having been away from Zhengyi for so long without visiting you, this daughter feel uneasy in my heart.” Liu Qianxun had left the Yu Kingdom two years ago, and although she had returned to visit midway, most of her time was spent undercover in Jidu.

Before she left, Liu Zhu had specifically instructed her that if she could explore in Jidu, to find a person named Yi Qingyu—not necessarily to find her, but just to see if she was safe, that would be enough. Yi Qingyu was part of Liu Zhu’s past and her lifelong concern, the person she thought about day and night, whose existence supported her to keep living.

“Xun’er.” Liu Zhu held Liu Qianxun’s hand, with a trace of tension and unease, “She…..” She wanted to ask but didn’t dare, feeling confused and at a loss.

When she saw the letter Liu Qianxun brought back, saying she had personally seen Yi Qingyu, she became unsettled. She thought twenty years was enough to slowly let go of the past, and that Qingyu would forever live in her heart and memory. But she couldn’t do it; she longed to see her again, even if just from afar, one glance would be enough.

“Mother, do you want to see Yi Qingyu?” Liu Qianxun discerned her thoughts.

“You should call her Aunt Qing.” Although she had not seen the person, just hearing the name Qingyu made the corners of Liu Zhu’s lips purse with a happy smile. What kind of deep affection and loyalty was this, that made the usually dull and plain-faced person’s eyes glow, like the dawn of hope shining into life?

“Yes~ Aunt Qing.” Liu Qianxun indulged her mother, whose life was wretched, her story sorrowful and rough. Even Liu Qianxun was moved after hearing it. Those past experiences, although they had already vanished, the deep feeling did not fade away with the passing of time.

“She, where is she?” Liu Zhu’s eyes were filled with expectation.

“She’s in the loquat forest, do you want to go see her?”

“Loquat… forest….” Liu Zhu’s body suddenly swayed, and Liu Qianxun hurried forward to support her, “Mother, don’t get excited, sit down first.”

Liu Zhu’s eyes were filled with tears, her crystal-clear eyes full of sorrow. Memories, no matter how deep, were not as profound as hearing about her in the loquat forest. They first met in that loquat forest in the Yu Kingdom. She never expected that Qingyu would still be the same as back then, abandoning wealth and honor, following their past agreement, guarding a loquat forest, and living a simple life.

“Since you miss her so much, how about I take you over to see her?” Liu Qianxun couldn’t bear to see her mother so sad. Extreme longing can also cause chronic illness, and the divine doctor had said that Liu Zhu’s body was weak and her heart illness was deeper, and this heart illness was Yi Qingyu.

“See her…” Liu Zhu powerlessly lowered her eyes. She gently stroked her neck, suddenly losing all courage, and laughed silently, “With this ghost throat of mine, I’m afraid even if I see her, I won’t be able to speak. Back then, she always said my voice was like an oriole, like a song, always loving to hear me speak, but now….”

“She will not despise you. If she knows you are alive, she will certainly be happy. Mother, let me take you to see her.”

“Xun’er, losing and then regaining is joy, but gaining and then losing again is too painful. My body is weak, and I’m afraid I don’t have much time left, so why disrupt her current peace?” As she spoke, she stroked her chest and coughed violently. She shouldn’t speak much, shouldn’t talk much, and even more shouldn’t let her emotions fluctuate.

“Mother, how are you? Is your chest in pain?” Liu Qianxun gently stroked her back, trying to help her breathe easier. That long pent-up heart was already riddled with scars, leaving only a pure land that Liu Zhu reserved for Yi Qingyu, which was her life’s greatest happiness.

“It’s nothing, nothing, mother has been like this for so many years, don’t worry.” Liu Zhu used all her strength to say each sentence, and Liu Qianxun leaned closer to her, letting her lean on her. Besides heartache and pity for her mother, what else could she do? She didn’t know whether she should take her to see Yi Qingyu or not.

Clearly in love, why the need to mutually torment? Mother had already come to Jidu, why not go meet her? Traveling for ten days full of joy, risking her body collapsing, wasn’t it all to see her?

But when that person was already in front, Liu Zhu began to retreat and panic again. So much tension and unease churned in her heart. How could she not want to see Qingyu, but she dared not? What if her emotions collapsed? What if Qingyu found her? She had been so proud and aloof all her life, spending twenty years letting herself retreat. How could she bear to stir up waves again?

“Xun’er, you go and attend to your own matters. Mother is fine here. On this land with her, even breathing feels very close, and every day is very happy. Looking at the sky, I can see her face—exactly the same as when she was young—not following trends, not disturbed by the mundane world, chivalrous and tender, elegant and solitary. In this world, there is no such beautiful person.” Liu Zhu’s eyes were clear, like a clear washed blue sky, clean and pure. Mentioning Yi Qingyu’s name, her world brightened.

Once suffered hardships are not worth mentioning, once escaping death was all for having such a beautiful existence in her heart, and it was worth it.

Only Qingyu, she wants to see so much, yet like back then, she lost her courage. When can she be like her—not fearing wind and rain, not fearing heaven and earth, living freely and following her heart?